I'll defer to your experience on the images issue. I don't send them often enough to know, and when I do, they're usually either screenshots or not actually photos taken by my camera. I wouldn't know.
The messaging thing is quite annoying I'll grant, but I think you overblow the color palette issue, or at least the palette for iMessage is just as unreadable -- I don't have any more or less trouble reading white-on-blue than green-on-blue. If one has a colorblindness issue, I believe it's configurable as an accessibility option. It's also worth noting that you've got it backwards, messages sent TO non-Apple users are white-on-green, messages received from any source are whatever the default is for light or dark mode as you have it set -- I think that's black-on-gray and white-on-black respectively?
I will readily agree with you on the status/cult point -- it is frankly ridiculous that my generation and beyond has dumbed it down so much. Especially when a flagship Samsung will cost you as much or more. Not that I think any of them should cost as much as they do. The cult-like tendencies of Apple users at large is frankly rather disturbing.
Another point I will easily grant you is the file browsing experience. It really is rather subpar. But the fact of the matter is, even on Android, I just don't need to get as deep into the nitty-gritty filesystem, pretty much full-stop. The most intensive thing I do is something it readily supports -- copying files into my VLC library. Do I wish it were a folder and not some bizarre container? Sure. Is it going to kill me if it isn't? No.
The keyboard issue is subjective -- it annoyed me at first, but I've gotten used to it. It helps that you can hold down the symbol key, hit your symbol, release and it'll go back to the main keyboard. makes using it one-handed annoying, yes, and especially since phones are so tall now I wish I could at least pop a number row up top, but the swipe typing on offer is literally the best I've used hands-down and the dictation is damn near spot-on, which given my southern twang is a feat. And if that's not good enough for you, I hear you can even use alternative keyboards now. I think I saw Swype and Gboard when I was scrolling in the App Store looking for something else.
Yes, the only available browser engine on iOS is Safari. Yes, I think that's utterly asinine. That's all I have to say on the subject other than it ought to be illegal, and I think in the strictest definition it might well be. It sounds like the kind of shit Microsoft got sued for in the 90s, only even worse. Hopefully getting dunked on in the EU will make Apple relax a little on this front.