Something Random

[Mercutio]

My office building used to be a bank. We still have the vault, the safety deposit boxes and the pneumatic tubes for the drive through teller lanes. The building is supposedly hardened to vehicle crashes or explosions as well, so I'm guessing it's an insulation thing. My personal office is on the back side of the building and looks out into Indiana Dunes National Park and/or State Park, which just means that I see a meadow and a lot of trees.

I finally have AC again and since I got to tell the techs how to set up the new system, I finally, possibly for the first time in my entire life, got to choose how climate control will work someplace. I have an HVAC zone to myself and don't have to share with hot flash grandmas any more.

 

[jtr1962]

How's the living alone situation going? I'm guessing it's an even bigger adjustment for you than for me. I couldn't have anything resembling a conversation with my mother although she was still physically there.

 

[Mercutio]

I'm not used to the empty place. My quasi- partner goes out at night because she lives somewhere with a night life now, so we don't talk nearly as often as I'd hoped. I've been able to keep relatively busy with photography work and general hobby-tinkering but my cats aren't great at keeping up their end of a conversation.

On the positive side, I'll be getting my place cleaned and decluttered this week by friends with more domestic sense than me and thanks to the power of cheap plane tickets, i should be able to see her at least three times in the next couple months. At some point I expect we'll have to have a talk about ending our relationship just over the practicalities of distance and age but for now we're still as together as people who live exactly 1110 miles apart could be.

 

[Newtun]

Zen to One

 

[jtr1962]

I'm not used to the empty place. My quasi- partner goes out at night because she lives somewhere with a night life now, so we don't talk nearly as often as I'd hoped. I've been able to keep relatively busy with photography work and general hobby-tinkering but my cats aren't great at keeping up their end of a conversation.

On the positive side, I'll be getting my place cleaned and decluttered this week by friends with more domestic sense than me and thanks to the power of cheap plane tickets, i should be able to see her at least three times in the next couple months. At some point I expect we'll have to have a talk about ending our relationship just over the practicalities of distance and age but for now we're still as together as people who live exactly 1110 miles apart could be.

My cat isn't so good at conversation, either. I'm also in the process of organizing my place a bit. Over ten years of taking care of mom meant I let lots of things slide.

Yeah, long distance relationships are hard. Heck, I lost touch with my high school friends after school ended and we were in the same city. Not being in daily contact tends to have that effect. Out of sight, out of mind. I guess eventually you'll have to have the talk you're probably both dreading. I'm guessing it would be difficult to impossible for you to move near her for work and other reasons. I'll also guess you haven't saved enough to consider retiring or semi-retiring at this point.

Just take it day by day I guess, and be thankful for the time you did have together.

 

[sedrosken]

Both of my past relationships, the one when I was a teenager and the more recent one that ended rather abruptly, were LDRs. I'm not willing to do anything long-distance ever again -- if it starts local and one of us has to move away, well. It probably wasn't going to work out anyway. And I'm back to how I was in regards to not looking for anyone -- I need to lock in and focus on my career anyway. I would qualify that with what I did last time, with how if someone came looking for me, I wouldn't necessarily close that door, but... honestly, I think I might. The whole reason that relationship started was because I was so startled at the thought of someone pursuing me that I just let it happen. And that was a mistake.

Merc, not to sound like a downer, but it kind of sounds like you were expecting something like this for a while now with how you referred to her as a 'quasi-' partner. All I can say is it really sucks. I know. And to hear "just be thankful for the time you did have" while true, can be a little patronizing. jtr, I know that wasn't your intent, don't worry -- I just got a lot of that when my relationship ended in February, and by the end, it really did feel patronizing. You're in good company, I guess, Merc, is what I'm trying to say.

 

[jtr1962]

And to hear "just be thankful for the time you did have" while true, can be a little patronizing. jtr, I know that wasn't your intent, don't worry -- I just got a lot of that when my relationship ended in February, and by the end, it really did feel patronizing. You're in good company, I guess, Merc, is what I'm trying to say.

That wasn't my intent but yes, it could be taken as kind of patronizing and cliche.

Last time I was in love was when I was 19. That didn't work out obviously. After that I sort of gave up pursuing people. It helped that I didn't meet anyone I found particularly interesting. My attitude has always been like yours. In the unlikely event someone pursued me, and it was a person I could see myself with, then I wouldn't close the door, but I'm not spending time actively looking. At least if that happened I avoid potential rejection knowing they're already attracted to me. That hasn't happened though. At this point I'm not getting my hopes up, either. Zero interest in anyone my age or close to it. I'd probably be looking for someone your age or younger. Not looking to get married, and certainly not looking to start a family. I'd just enjoy it for as long as it lasts, then move on.