Anyone want a web developer job?

Mercutio

Fatwah on Western Digital
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Jan 17, 2002
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OK, there's this total dick I sometimes do work for.
He's a dick. I mean it. I can barely stand the guy. Other people can barely stand the guy.

But his office is right next to mine, so when he needs help with his server, I walk over there and help him out. For some reason. Not because he pays me or anything.

This guy has a magical power to piss off contractors. He's trying to get a web guy to come do... something to his web site, which is on a server in his office.

Whatever technology was used to develop his site, there's a lot of compiled code for which he does not have the source.

Between that and the fact that the guy is a dick, the last three people he has hired have all stopped returning his calls. I'm guessing this takes place about 15 seconds after seeing that they can't make changes to the site without the source code that he doesn't have (because he was a dick to the guy who made his web site, and he won't give it up... he's also going to be amused when his domain registration runs out in six months).

Now he's being sued for something on his web site. He keeps bugging me about it. I don't really care that he's being sued, but I told him I'd ask people I know if they might know someplace to find the magical web developer who can put up with him and properly explain to him that he's going to need his web site rewritten since he can't get the source code for whatever the hell it is he doesn't have. Being a dick, I don't think he's willing to pay for that.

Ordinarily I'd be a lot more specific about all of this, but since I can't stand the guy, I've tried to have as little to do with this as possible.

Anyway, if any of the web people want a job from someone you will want to murder within minutes, or know of a place to find people who are desperate enough to work for someone they will want to murder, please let me know.

While you're at it, another part of the job is convincing the guy that he doesn't need to be hosting his web site on his crappy Comcast cable connection.
 

timwhit

Hairy Aussie
Joined
Jan 23, 2002
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5,278
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Chicago, IL
Wow, sounds like something that no one will ever want to do. Tell him to buy a decompiler and spend the next 6 weeks decompiling all the source and then rebuilding it with the new feature set that he wants. I'll take a wild guess that it's written in java, decompilers work pretty well with java. If it's C++ or something else, then he will have much less luck.

Anyways, I have done contract work for picky assholes before and I quit without ever being paid. I have no interest in repeating this. I know a lot of other web developers, but I don't think I would want to subject them to this either.
 

Gilbo

Storage is cool
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Aug 19, 2004
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Ottawa, ON
Me! I'll do it.

Oh wait, did I just notice that you mentioned somewhere in there he's a dick? Are you sure he's a dick?
 

Mercutio

Fatwah on Western Digital
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Hey, if you want the job, you can talk to him and find out for yourself.
Also, he usually wears turtlenecks.

Wanna know how much of a dick he is?

I told him I'd be out of town for my granny's funeral last week.

He called me three times DURING THE SERVICES. And sent me an Email. And a text message. And left two voice mails. And paged me every time he called. I ended up RDP'd into his server (on my phone) on the drive from the funeral home to the cemetery.

Now that is a SuperDouche.
 

Mercutio

Fatwah on Western Digital
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... and then I listened to my voice mails from today and found someone who wants to pay $1500 a month for their own private Youtube implementation...
 

Mercutio

Fatwah on Western Digital
Joined
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I'll take a wild guess that it's written in java, decompilers work pretty well with java. If it's C++ or something else, then he will have much less luck.

Actually, looking at the files on his server I'm guessing that it's a lot of Visual Basic? There's some .MDB files there and all the pages on the site are .ASPXs that consist entirely of

Code:
This is a marker file generated by the precompilation tool, and should not be deleted!

There's a \bin directory that's full of files with a .COMPILED extension. Other than the .CSS file, there's nothing in his \WWWROOT that's recognizable to me.
 
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