Companies that don't get it (job postings)

[mubs]

Actual posting I looked at 10 minutes ago:

<snip>

Qualifications (Education, Experience and Competencies):

Must have 8-10 years of management experience managing various disciplines within IT Operations with increasing levels of responsibility and limited supervision. Must have a background in successfully integrating desperate operational environments without impacting business.

<snip>

Emphasis mine.

At one point I had disparate in my resume, but took it out because of the risk of some reader not understanding what I was saying.

 

[mubs]

Forgot to add: this was from a "global, NYSE-listed company with revenues of more than $2 billion and 10,000 employees in 30 countries worldwide". Director-level position.

 

[sechs]

Word checks spelling, not intelligence.

 

[Mercutio]

Minor editorial problems aren't THAT big of a deal. I wouldn't want to work for a company that didn't proofread business communication, but everyone makes a mistake every once in a while.

What I hate nowadays is the unerring specificity in job postings:
"Must have 25 months experience with AJAX development. Must be fluent in Marathi. Must have own Japanese automobile. Must be named Steve."

Or the ever popular: "Java programmer needed. Must have 10 years java programming experience."

Which only recently became possible but was really funny the first time I saw it, in 1997.

I got a call yesterday from someone looking for an SBT (it's an accounting package) specialist in Northwest Indiana. It's mentioned on some version of a resume I have posted someplace online I guess. The person I talked to asked if I had a year's experience with two particular add-ons to SBT, both related to a field I've never worked in. Mind you, she didn't ask if I wanted the work or not, only if I had that experience and if I lived less than a half hour's from the customer. She hung up on me when I said that I didn't.

And that left me thinking: How many people who live within a half hour of Merrillville, Indiana can claim any experience at all with the SBT Accounting system, let alone have a year's experience with their manufacturing-specific add-ons?

Do employers really have any idea of what they're asking for, nowadays?

 

[Bartender]

Do employers really have any idea of what they're asking for, nowadays?

Although I technically don't have an employer, Handy is a nice boss. But, from what I see, employers seem to be a mixed bag. I see some that actually take the time to plan out their business, and forecast specific needs for the next 5 or 10 years. Than there are others who wing it, and wonder why they can not find good help. Interestingly, the ones that don't plan properly, usually end up having a major issue with an (every?) employee. Unfortunately, some employers reached their position simply because of their arrogance and not because of their intelligence.

 

[Tannin]

How many people who live within a half hour of Merrillville, Indiana can claim any experience at all with the SBT Accounting system, let alone have a year's experience with their manufacturing-specific add-ons?

I'll bet money on this answer: one

Some — not all — of those weirdo ultra-specific requirements are undoubtedly there as a way to ensure that the "right" person gets the job.

Most organisations of any size have a formal equal-opportunity policy. They are required to interview and hire on a strict is-this-person-the-best-person-for-the-job basis, and, more importantly, to be able to demonstrate that this is what they did in any particular case. If there are questions after the event, they can prove that everything was above board and honest. No back-room deals, no favouritism, everything for the good of the organisation.

Why should there be questions? I'll give you three scenarios.

* Harry gets hired. Mary thinks she should have got the job. Mary's scumbag lawyer sues.
* Harry gets hired. Harry happens to be the purchasing manager's son-in-law. A very senior manager wonders if his staff are feeding at the trough instead of hiring the very best candidates available.
* Harry gets hired. Harry turns out to be stealing stuff from the company, big-time. "No no" says the personel manager, "it wasn't just a gut-feeling judgement call I made, we decided what qualifications we needed and wrote them down (here is the list) and (as you can see) none of the other candidates were qualified. It wasn't my fault!"

Doubtless you will be able to think of others.

Here is how it works. They want to give the job to Jason. (Doesn't matter why: maybe because Jason is somebody's brother, maybe because he has done contract work for them and they already know he's very good, could be a million reasons.) But you can't just give someone a job these days, you have to go through all the paperwork bullshit. So there is a problem. How do you follow formal proceedure (as all organisations have to do these days) and also give the job to the person you actually want? (All organisations do this too, they just never admit to it.)

Simple: you sit down and decide that you need a programmer. Hmmm ... you need him/her to be experienced. OK, 5 years of programming. (It just so happens that Jason has been programming for 5 years and 8 months.) Hey, we don't want some out-of-towner that won't stick around. OK, put down lives within ... oh ... a half hour of here? (Jason lives 20 minutes away.) Hey, we need someone who knows the SBT Accounting system, right? Sure thing, and we better put down about knowing the add-ons too.

Before you know it, you have a perfectly logical and rational set of key requirements, and only one person fits them.

Welcome to the real world, Jason.

 

[Buck]

That's a good scenario Tony, but seems that Mercutio's situation is a bit different. Since they called him based upon his resume located somewhere in WWW land, they either found out "Jason" was a loser, or they didn't have any one person in mind when outlining the job.

 

[Tannin]

Nope. I forgot to mention that bit:

* they decided who they wanted
* then they wrote the job requirents
* then they sent the requirements to the employment agency
* then the agency called Merc (and a million other people)

They wind up with 6 candidates on the short list, but only one of them really, really fits the requirements. Oddly enough, his name is Jason.

Everyone winds up happy:

* They get the employee they had already decided they wanted
* everything is above-board and squeaky clean, no discrimilation, no law suits, all according to procedure
* the employment agency gets to send them a bill
* Jason gets the job
* Merc gets to answer the telephone
* Five short-listed candidates who never got a real chance at the job never know why they missed out at the interview
* Best of all, they don't ever have to say "we want Jason" - the employment agency told them that Jason was the only candidate that really fitted the job description. Everybody gets what they want, nobody had to accept any responsibility. Perfect world!

 

[Tea]

Tannin, that ain't a new idea.

When I was charged with hijacking that truckload of bananas, the police had a lineup to make sure of my ID. They made me go and stand in front of a brick wall, dressed as usual in my fur, and got five guys in suits and ties to stand next to me. Oddly enough, the truck driver never hesitated for a moment: he ignored the suits, pointed straight at me and said "that's the ape what done it!"

Old idea, Tannin. Been around for centuries.

 

[Buck]

Unless, of course, you're Bruce. He fit most of the job requirements, but being 45 mintues from this business put him one step behind Jason. Bruce is mad.

PS: Good explanation Tony.

PPS: So, what does happen when they find out that Jason abuses his restroom privledges, incites a fight in the cafeteria, and gives the boss' wife the ol' two-in-a-million sign?

 

[mubs]

What I hate nowadays is the unerring specificity in job postings:
"Must have 25 months experience with AJAX development. Must be fluent in Marathi. Must have own Japanese automobile. Must be named Steve."

You forgot some more: Must wear size 34 underwear; must pick nose with left pinkie only.

Or the ever popular: "Java programmer needed. Must have 10 years java programming experience."

Which only recently became possible but was really funny the first time I saw it, in 1997.

Yeah, I see these all the time, and skip right past; who's want to work for an idiot like that?

As to why these things happen, Tony's hit it on the head. Which is amazing, since he doesn't work for someone else but runs his own business. There are large companies (names you'll recognize instantly) that list lots of positions, and no matter that you fit the requirements perfectly, you'll never hear from them. Insiders say the companies mostly promote from within, hiring only entry level positions. But for legal and PR reasons, they will advertise all open positions and waste the poor candidate's time. I skip right past these "known" offenders, no matter how tempting the listing.

The weirdest thing is calls from headhunters; when your resume clearly shows you're at a certain level in you career and probably making in the range of x to y dollars, they'll call about significantly lower-level positions that offer x/3. Helllooooo, there's got to be a limit to stupidity.