Vlad The Impaler
Learning Storage Performance
GREEN BANANA
This bloke is working on the buses and collecting tickets. He rings the
bell for the driver to set off when there's a woman half getting on the
bus.
The driver sets off, the woman falls from the bus and is killed. At the
trial the bloke is sent down for murder and seeing as it's Texas
he's sent to the electric chair. On the day of his execution he's sat in
the
chair and the executioner grants him a final wish.
"Well" says the man, "is that your packed lunch over there?"
"Yes" answers the executioner.
"Can I have that green banana?" the man asks.
The executioner gives the man his green banana and waits until he's
eaten it.
When the man's finished, the executioner flips the switch sending
hundreds of thousands of volts through the man.
When the smoke clears the man is still alive. The executioner can't
believe it. "Can I go?" the man asks. "I suppose so" says the
executioner, "that's never happened before."
The man leaves and eventually gets his job back on the buses selling
tickets. Again he rings the bell for the driver to go when people are
still getting on. A man falls under the wheels and is killed. The bloke
is sent down for murder again and sent to the electric chair.
The executioner is determined to do it right this time so he rigs the
chair up to the electric supply for the whole of Texas. The bloke is
again sat in the chair.
"What is your final wish?" asks the executioner.
"Can I have that green banana in your packed lunch?" says the condemned
man.
The executioner sighs and reluctantly gives up his banana. The bloke
eats the banana all up and the executioner flips the switch. Millions of
volts course through the chair blacking out Texas. When the smoke clears
the man is still there smiling in the chair. The executioner can't
believe it and lets the man go.
Well, would you believe, the bloke gets his job back on the buses. Once
again he rings the bell whilst passengers are still getting on, this
time killing three of them. He is sent to the electric chair again.
The executioner rigs up all the electricity in America to the chair,
determined to get his man this time. The man sits down in the chair
smiling.
"What's your final wish?" asks the executioner.
"Well" says the man, "Can I have that green banana out of your packed
lunch?"
The executioner hands over his banana and the man eats it all, skin
included.
The executioner then pulls the handle and a zillion million trillion
volts go through the chair.
When the smoke rises the man is still sat there alive without even a
burn mark.
"I give up" says the executioner, "I don't understand. How you can still
be alive after all that?"
He stroked his chin. "It's something to do with that green banana isn't
it?"
he asked.
"Nahh" said the bloke,".....I'm just a really bad conductor."
This bloke is working on the buses and collecting tickets. He rings the
bell for the driver to set off when there's a woman half getting on the
bus.
The driver sets off, the woman falls from the bus and is killed. At the
trial the bloke is sent down for murder and seeing as it's Texas
he's sent to the electric chair. On the day of his execution he's sat in
the
chair and the executioner grants him a final wish.
"Well" says the man, "is that your packed lunch over there?"
"Yes" answers the executioner.
"Can I have that green banana?" the man asks.
The executioner gives the man his green banana and waits until he's
eaten it.
When the man's finished, the executioner flips the switch sending
hundreds of thousands of volts through the man.
When the smoke clears the man is still alive. The executioner can't
believe it. "Can I go?" the man asks. "I suppose so" says the
executioner, "that's never happened before."
The man leaves and eventually gets his job back on the buses selling
tickets. Again he rings the bell for the driver to go when people are
still getting on. A man falls under the wheels and is killed. The bloke
is sent down for murder again and sent to the electric chair.
The executioner is determined to do it right this time so he rigs the
chair up to the electric supply for the whole of Texas. The bloke is
again sat in the chair.
"What is your final wish?" asks the executioner.
"Can I have that green banana in your packed lunch?" says the condemned
man.
The executioner sighs and reluctantly gives up his banana. The bloke
eats the banana all up and the executioner flips the switch. Millions of
volts course through the chair blacking out Texas. When the smoke clears
the man is still there smiling in the chair. The executioner can't
believe it and lets the man go.
Well, would you believe, the bloke gets his job back on the buses. Once
again he rings the bell whilst passengers are still getting on, this
time killing three of them. He is sent to the electric chair again.
The executioner rigs up all the electricity in America to the chair,
determined to get his man this time. The man sits down in the chair
smiling.
"What's your final wish?" asks the executioner.
"Well" says the man, "Can I have that green banana out of your packed
lunch?"
The executioner hands over his banana and the man eats it all, skin
included.
The executioner then pulls the handle and a zillion million trillion
volts go through the chair.
When the smoke rises the man is still sat there alive without even a
burn mark.
"I give up" says the executioner, "I don't understand. How you can still
be alive after all that?"
He stroked his chin. "It's something to do with that green banana isn't
it?"
he asked.
"Nahh" said the bloke,".....I'm just a really bad conductor."
