Well Tim, I believe that you will be able to look back at this as a positive learning experience. First off, the the old adage "nothing ventured, nothing gained" comes to mind. And although you might not have come out of it with what you initially expected, there is no denying that you ventured and it certainly sounds like you have gained something special from your experience (i.e. some personal insight/self-awareness...mighty powerful knowledge, so use it wisely). The other point is that because you took the venture/risk, you won't have any agonizing regrets anywhere down the road (i.e. "what if I had done this or that" or "I should of done that when I was ...). No sir, you got this over and done with. And as an additional bonus, as you discovered it displeased you, you nipped it in the bud before it became a seriously negative venture...thus eliminating any present day regrets/anxiety. Well done, and welcome back.