Passage Into Canada (a short story)

[Dozer]

Just something I've been meaning to share with everyone:

"Let me see your identification, both of you!" demanded the Canadian border guard.

"Where are you from?"

"Chattanooga, Tennessee," Dozer replied, a bit intimidated by the well-armed guard, complete with body armor.

"Where are you going?"

"Vancouver,"

"Why?" he replied.

"To visit Vancouver, and also to camp at Golden Ears Provincial Park," Dozer stated obediently.

"Why would you want to camp at Golden Ears? It's not anywhere close to Vancouver!"

Silence...

"We heard it was nice," Cliptin replied, trying to hide his sarcasm.

The guard apparently did not appreciate the humor, "So you traveled all the way from Tennessee to camp at Golden Ears Park?"

"Well, actually, we were visiting Seattle and decided to drive up for a couple of days."

"Why?"

"We heard it was nice," again the reply from Cliptin, all the while thinking, "We heard you could get a sense of humor there."

"Pull your car over there and check in with Customs, the building with the flashing green light." We pulled over, and spotted a flashing bluish-green light, but decided to ask another guard if that was the right place.

"Follow the green markings on the sidewalk," came the harsh reply. Confused, Dozer tried to find the markings in the darkness.

"Follow the GREEN MARKINGS ON THE SIDEWALK, " the guard replied again, punctuating his words by moving his flashlight along the path. So we found the Customs Office, entered, and were greeted by another heavily armored guard with an Irish accent (how far had we driven, anyway?) We handed him our documents, and he promptly began asking us a series of more questions ("Are they going to strip-search us?" Dozer worried).

"Where are you from?"

"Where are you going?"

"How much money do you have?"

"Are you aware of all the contents of the vehicle you are driving?" Uh, oh!

"We are aware of all the contents of the packs were are carrying, but the car belongs to my cousin, so we're not 100% sure of the contents of the car," Cliptin stated tentatively.

"Okay, we'll need to search the car. Take you papers to Immigration and we'll meet you down there." So we hiked down to Immigration.

"Where are you from?"

"Where are you going?"

"Do you have any convictions?"

"Any major traffic violations?"

"Okay, we'll have to run your records through the computer, please have a seat."

"So, do you think we're gonna get to pass through?" Dozer asked Cliptin.

"Hmmm, we'll see I guess."

Pretty soon the two guards walked in, handed the keys to the immigration official, who then said, "Have a nice visit."

Well, I'm not sure if Cliptin and I looked suspicious, or if it was just a random search, or if the guard we happened upon at the border was just unusually gruff, but I have no doubt in my mind that if we had anything remotely illegal in the car, we would have been screwed. I have no worries of a terrorist passing through this particular checkpoint into Canada.

By the way, this is not written as a negative reflection on Canada. I think it is very wise to be thorough at borders in this day and age. Once we finally made it into Canada, we had an incredible visit in and around the Vancouver area, which is quite a beautiful place to be. Cliptin and I both thought that the story was humorous, however, and enjoyed several chuckles about the experience. I still get a smile on my face when I think about Cliptin's reply, "We heard it was nice."

 

[Buck]

Nice story Dozer, I'm sure the guard didn't appreciate Cliptin's singular wit.

 

[Cliptin]

Nice story Dozer, I'm sure the guard didn't appreciate Cliptin's singular wit.

I'm sure the guard picked up on the accidentally audible but non-verbal finish to my sentence. "You twit."

 

[DrunkenBastard]

Well it was indeed fortunate that the story didn't have to be called "Canada in my back passage"! :mrgrn:

 

[Explorer]

Just something I've been meaning to share with everyone:

"Let me see your identification, both of you!" demanded the Canadian border guard.

"Where are you from?"...

This must've been your first time into Canada.

There is absolutely nothing unusual about what you've described. For someone who has driven and flown into Canada dozens of times over the years, all I can tell you is that if the above did not happen to me, it would be the rare exception.

 

[Cliptin]

Perhaps extra courtesy is afforded Washington residents as the owner of the vehicle did not have a lick of delay the last time.

 

[Groltz]

I thought I warned you guys about the border Gestapo...

If not, my apologies. I haven't experienced it myself, but several times when my erstwhile employer sent emergency field service trips to Vancouver the border guards were very surly with them.

 

[.Nut]

And, I always loved it when they looked down the neck of the fuel tank -- as I was being asked various questions inside "the building on the left."