I phoned the Big Pong 1800 number in my user guide and found it was disconnected. So I threw the booklet somewhere in disgust, and hunted around their website (using another ISP) to get the support number.
My first call was answered with a loud distorted noise.
I got further with the second and heard a recording explaining that the problem was Australia wide.
After two and a half hours I managed to login ... and then lost the connection again after a few minutes.
After six hours, I noticed the above status screen hadn't changed for three hours, so I phoned again and got through to a human. Couldn't find the stupid user guide booklet, so I couldn't give them my account number.
Eventually, we commenced the Telstra equivalent of a diagnostic session.
Please restart your computer.
Done that, obviously, and reset the cable modem, and even powered everything down.
Please restart your computer.
Okay, okay, I'll do it.
Ah, Telstra's login applet is not responding, I'll just have to kill it.
Crap, killing it has made Windows have a bad hair day.
Okay, it's rebooting now.
Start the login program and see what it says.
It doesn't say anything, it's an empty window.
But it should have a Connect button.
Look, it's always been like this. Whenever there's a network problem, the software just hangs for a few minutes without drawing the window properly.
No, that's not how it works.
Yes it is.
Well, let's try checking your IP address. Run Winipcfg.
Okay, there's the IP address.
Do you have any other network cards?
Well, yes, but I have the right one because the other has a static IP and is a different brand.
I'm sorry, we don't provide any support if you have more than one network card.
Huh? You're kidding. What's that got to do with it?
I'm sorry, but we can't support you if you're on a network.
How about I disable the card?
I'm sorry, but we can't support you if you're on a network.
Right! See, I've yanked the network cable out of the wall. I am NO LONGER on a network!
You'll have to remove the network card before we can help you.
So you think there's a hardware conflict?
You'll have to remove the network card before we can help you.
And what will we do then?
Reinstall your network card driver.
Look, I'm actually an IT support specialist, and I don't believe that's a good use of my time. Can you tell me where you're heading?
You'll have to remove the network card before we can help you.
Right, I've been a customer of Big Pond for two and a half years, and let me tell you it hasn't been fun. I'm getting pretty pissed off.
Please don't swear at me.
It wasn't an obscenity!
Yes, but it offended me.
(Deep healing breaths as blood pressure skyrockets. Try to crush phone with one hand).
So let me get this straight. You won't do anything until I jump through these hoops. What happens if we do all this and it still doesn't work?
I will log your call.
So, you don't believe that my problem is related to the widespread outage that is occuring right now?
You should have got the error message. You didn't, so you don't have the problem.
Ah, so you're saying that my problem is of my own doing, and nothing to do with Telstra. Because I have a second network card. Both of which work just fine.
Yes.
Fine. Okay, I think I just might pass on your recommendations until morning, and see what turns up.
Footnote: After seven hours, I appear to have connectivity, but according to the Big Pond status page, others do not.
Could you please give me a price on a LEXMARK OPTRA S 1382625 TONER cart? 