The search for intelligent life in America

[Tannin]

I always used to wonder if there was intelligent life in America.

And now I can stop wondering, because not only is there intelligent life, at least some of it has that precious commodity, common sense. Here is the proof:

It is beyond me how anyone can be proud to be an American. That's about the same as saying I am proud to be white, or I am proud that I speak English. I will never again say that I am proud to be anything that I didn't work to achieve. To be proud of something that you didn't do is ridiculous; you didn't achieve birth. (Quoting Timwhit, in another thread.)

Put that up in bold type! Well said Tim!

Now, if I could just persuade some of my Australian friends to think the same way......

OK, as a nation we Australians are not as stupidly and mindlessly patriotic as the Americans (or as the French, if we are going to name names), but far, far too many of us have that same asinine ability to walk round laying claim to what other people have achieved. An example:

Cathy Freeman won the Olympic Gold Medal for the 400 metre sprint. Good for her. But did it make me proud to be an Australian? Hell no. If I was Cathy Freeman, sure I'd be proud. If I was Kathy Freeman's mother, or her coach, I'd be proud. I'd be proud if I'd sent a donation to help with her training programme, I'd be proud if my company made her running shoes, I'd even be proud if that super-fit body was built on the protein she accumulated as a child and I'd been the owner of the hamburger shop she ate at.

But proud because she happens to come from the same country as me? What simple-minded idiocy would that be?

Bah!

 

[Tea]

Tannin?

Hmmm?

You're not proud of being an Australian?

No. Of course not. It's just the place I happened to be born. It could just as easily been Botswana. Or Belgium. Or anywhere. What is there to be proud of?

I'm proud of being an orangutan.

That's different.

Why?

Because ... well ... because you are imaginary. You are a very nice person. You should be proud of having made yourself up.

But I didn't made myself up. You did!

Well. OK. But only in the beginning. I just made an imaginary little sister. You made yourself into the thoroughly charming (and ocasionally infuriating) ape that you are today. So you are entitled to be proud.

I thought you said that Greg Zantilli made me up?

Well he did. Sort of. Greg was the first one to realise that you were a girl. Which was pretty clever of him, really, seeing as there isn't very much difference between baby girl orangutans and baby boy orangutans at that age. It was sort of a team effort - all the guys helped - Flagreen, Handruin, Mercutio, everyone.

So I was an orangutan before I waz a girl?

I can't remember. Sorry.

Ahem. We are off-topic.

So we are. You were saying?

Well, you are not proud of being an Australian?

No.

But what about when you see zome jingoistic moron in a bar saying how proud he is to be an Aussie 'cause we won the Olympic games or 'cause our flag has blue zpots on it or 'cause the AIF thrashed the Vichy Frogs in Syria in 1942 or 'cause we zuck up to Shrub or zomething equally idiotic?

I feel ashamed, of course.

What do you mean - "you feel ashamed"?

Well, wouldn't you? (No, you wouldn't - you'd just brachiate around the place pointing at your fur and saying how stupid humans are.) But it's just so humiliating to see pompous morons like John Howard getting on TV in America or Germany and you have to sit there thinking "oh my God - those Americans (or Germans or whoever) are looking at that arselicking dweeb and thinking that he's a representative of Australia". Or you see some self-appointed patriot on the TV gushing stupid platitudes and .... well ... you just cringe and feel ashamed of yourself because you come from the same country as him.

Tannin?

Mmm?

You're ztupid!

What gives you the right to say that? You think just because you wear fur instead of trousers you have the right t o be rude to everyone?

I'm not being rude, Tannin. Honest. I'm just being rational (like you taught me to be). One minute you zay that it's stupid to be proud of zomething good that someone else did just because you come from the same country az them, the next minute you are feeling ashamed of zomething bad that zomeone else did just because you happened to be born in the same country az them? You're being totally inconsistent!

Oh. I see what you mean.

 

[zx]

Cathy Freeman won the Olympic Gold Medal for the 400 metre sprint. Good for her. But did it make me proud to be an Australian? Hell no. If I was Cathy Freeman, sure I'd be proud. If I was Kathy Freeman's mother, or her coach, I'd be proud. I'd be proud if I'd sent a donation to help with her training programme, I'd be proud if my company made her running shoes, I'd even be proud if that super-fit body was built on the protein she accumulated as a child and I'd been the owner of the hamburger shop she ate at.

Doesn't you tax money go to fund olympic athletes? You should be proud Tannin!

 

[Tannin]

Hmmm .... Yes. I didn't think of that. On the other hand, her tax money helps to pay for the roads I drive on and the police force that protect me, and given the sort of corporate sponsorship deals that an Olympic Gold Medalist normally gets, she'll be paying a heap more tax than I do. She should be proud. :wink:

 

[jtr1962]

Of course I'm proud to be an American.

Proud to be from the same country as Britney Spears and Michael Jackson

Proud to be a citizen of the world's greatest polluter

Proud to be an elite member of the world's most hated country

Proud to be part of a country whose educational system is routinely beaten by Third World countries

Proud to be part of a citizenry with 30-second attention spans.

Proud to....

OK, I guess you get the idea.

I HATE mindless patriotism!

 

[The Giver]

Oh my, I feel so morally inferior - Not.

 

[CougTek]

I always used to wonder if there was intelligent life in America.

If you look at the map of America, particularly the North America, intelligence can be found for sure in an area located in the Northern East corner of the continent. ;-)

My excuses to my neighboors of the South, the opportunity was too good to be missed.

 

[Handruin]

In Maine? Oh wait, is there land above Maine, nah it's just ice and snow.

 

[Howell]

In Maine? Oh wait, is there land above Maine, nah it's just ice and snow.

Maine? I think he's talking about Greenland. Thule Air Force base.

 

[zx]

Hmmm .... Yes. I didn't think of that. On the other hand, her tax money helps to pay for the roads I drive on and the police force that protect me, and given the sort of corporate sponsorship deals that an Olympic Gold Medalist normally gets, she'll be paying a heap more tax than I do. She should be proud. :wink:

LOL, cat and mouse game!

 

[NRG = mc²]

But proud because she happens to come from the same country as me? What simple-minded idiocy would that be?

Bah!

Exactly my thoughts. Seeing people waving flags around drives me mad. I feel like going up and burning them.

 

[Howell]

TannYou're being totally inconsistent!

Oh. I see what you mean.

Certainly there are worse things than being inconsistent. Like being consistently wrong! (Not you, of course)

But I guess this means you'll have to stop cheering for your cricket team,no.

When I hear people say they are proud to be $, I always interpret it to mean they are grateful and appreciative. I will have to examine the etemology of the word "proud" to have any further opinion.