This Call May Be Recorded For Quality Assurance

[Piyono]

My years of dealing with telephone customer service and tech support agents has turned me sour. I've been lied to, neglected, cut off, misinformed, patronized and generally mistreated.

In light of this I recently decided to start recording my phone calls to support and service desks in order to have something to fall back on when I sense The Shaft coming.

I figured I'd best play it legit and parrot back to the agent the same message I'm given mechanically at the start of each call: "To assure continuing excellence in customer service this call may be recorded". Incredibly the first two time I tried this (calling Sprint Canada) the agent refused to speak to me. Talk about double standards! Imposing upon your clients by recording their calls and then telling your goons not to talk to anyone recording yours!

I'm going to keep this up for a while and see how many companies allow their reps to stay on the phone once they know the call might be recorded.

Stay tuned.


]-[

 

[P5-133XL]

The problem is that when calling tech-support, you need them more than they need you...

 

[sechs]

Saying "this call may be recorded" does not limit who can record it. If they use this phraseology, then *you* may record the call.

 

[Tannin]

Hmmmm .... What about the other way around — when they call you? Usually the calls go like this:

"Hello Mr Wilson, my name is Andy and I'm calling from Some Mumbled Scumbag Organisation, how are you today?"

I think they rely on people automatically responding to that "how are you today", like it's a Holy Mantra or something. If someone asks how you are, you have to answer. Must be a law on the books about it somewhere. I often don't catch their name or what scumbag company they work for as it takes me a while to drag my mind away from whatever I was doing before they interrupted me, but that "how are you today" is a dead-set giveaway.

You don't even have to think: it's "Nup, not my thing, thanks for calling." <CLICK>. Sometimes, a few moments after I've put the phone down, I think "I wonder who that was?", but only for a moment.

I mean who cares? If they say "how are you today" you already know it's someone you don't want to talk to, so nothing else they say actually matters.

But there is a neat idea, Piyono. Instead of saying "Nup, not my thing, thanks for calling", I could try saying "To assure continuing excellence in customer service this call may be recorded".

Hmmm .....

Nope. On the whole, it doesn't work as well without the bit at the end that goes <CLICK>.

 

[P5-133XL]

I don't know but the rules for recording calls may be signifigently different in the land of Oz than the land of milk and honey.

 

[Mercutio]

In Indiana at least, the recording party is not required to inform anyone, and can record without consent. How's THAT for civil liberty?!?

Also, I find the best answer to "How are you today?" to be anything that's not a standard reply.

"Seething with rage." is good when speaking to level 1 tech support.

 

[sechs]

I think it's interesting to see how folks respond to, "Oh, I could be better."

You can do more damage to unwanted callers by initially not paying attention to their spiel, asking them politely to repeat it, and then telling them to cease and desist calling you.

 

[i]

I've been tempted to ask the caller to hold for a moment, put the receiver down somewhere within range of my speakers, play the infamous "sally.wav" file, then mumble something into the phone about being busy, and then deliberately fumble while hanging up the handset.

 

[i]

Oh, and for those of you in the United States, "Can we tape?" by The Reporters Committee for Freedom of the Press should be informative.

I suggest looking at the section titled, "tape-recording laws at a glance," first. And then be sure to read the section, "interstate phone calls". It highlights the problem that the other party's state laws may be different from those in your state, and that it may be hard to tell which state's laws would take precedence. The article suggests that, "the safest strategy is to assume that the stricter state law will apply."

 

[Howell]

I think it's interesting to see how folks respond to, "Oh, I could be better."

I'm kind of partial to, "I've had a boil lanced this morning and I'm not supposed to sit down today. How are you?"

I responded once to an outsourced CS agent's bizare statement of "Thank you, for being on hold." with "Thank you, I enjoyed it."

About a week ago I was on hold listening to NPR. When the CS agent came on the line I asked to be put back on hold so I could finish the interesting story and she obliged. When the story was over the CS agent asked me what the story was about. That was a satisfying support call.

 

[i]

About a week ago I was on hold listening to NPR. When the CS agent came on the line I asked to be put back on hold so I could finish the interesting story and she obliged. When the story was over the CS agent asked me what the story was about. That was a satisfying support call.

Howell, that is the funniest story I've read this month. I mean it's great, but funny.

 

[Buck]

In contrast, one company put me on hold and they were playing a local hard-rock radio station. It was playing Led Zeppelin's The Immigrant Song - if you're upset or irate, things won't get better after that type of music.

 

[time]

My daughter sometimes used to answer the phone with: "City Morgue".

Callers never really recover after that.

 

[sechs]

Try answering and only speaking in a foreign language.

It's amazing how they don't train these folks about what to do with someone who only speaks Spanish....

 

[Buck]

I thought Oz was a foreign language.

 

[Howell]

My daughter sometimes used to answer the phone with: "City Morgue".

Callers never really recover after that.

Here at the office, when the office staff notify me they are transfering a call I'll occasionally answer the phone:

"Fire Hall. You light 'em we fight 'em"
or
"Mortuary. You bag em, we tag 'em."
or
Domino's Pizza

 

[Bozo]

"How are you today?.." Fine until you called <click>

City morgue, you kill 'm, we chill 'm

Me to a solicitor on the phone " what company did you say you represent-I want to write it down "
Thank you! I represent blah blah blah.........I take it your interested in our (product, service or whatever)
Me "No, I'm on the State and Federal Do Not Call list. I'm reporting your sorry ass." <click>
I really like the jerks that are trying to sell you something for your home. (windows, doors, carpeting etc). I let them go through their entire routine, ask questions and have them repeat parts two or three times, then say "that's all very nice, but I rent" Usually there is a very long pause on the other end or stutering <click>

Bozo :mrgrn:

 

[Buck]

I had an uncle that used to answer, saying: "Hitler's bunker." There would normally be a long pause on the other if they didn't already know him. <click>

 

[Piyono]

I called my VoIP provider, Primus, to iron out some minor details regarding my service (they botched the number transfer from Sprint twice and left it up to me to figure out what the problem was, but they were happy charge me anyway). When I told the agent that the call was being recorded she laughed and said, "OK". Interesting considering that the agents that refused me last time were at Primus, as well.

As far as unsolicited phone calls go, I don't have the patience to come up with creative retorts. I just say "not intereted, thanks", and hang up.

Piyono

 

[Handruin]

I've done a few myself. One of the more recent ones was a person from AT&T called me to offer their long distance service...

I replied that I didn't own a telephone...<silence>
"Sir, you don't own a telephone?"...
Nope, I don't own a telephone.

After several more times she asked me that i didn't have a telephone she eventually hung up.

I've also did as someone else and asked that they repeat what they just said...This guy was a real slow talker and I have no idea what he was selling but after he went on and on, I said...sorry i wasn't listening, can you repeat it? He was so mad. He actually repeated it again and I hung up.

 

[sechs]

SBC keeps calling, trying to switch me over to their long distance. I don't make a lot of long distance calls, and have a very good plan from Qwest that SBC can't match.... but they'll keep trying to convince me to pay a monthly fee to get the same rate or accept a higher rate.

I'll have to try the "I don't have a telephone" schtick, even though it's not true for me....

 

[Howell]

I once had someone calling trying to sell me megazine subscriptions.
The call went something like this:

"Hi, we have magazine subscriptions available for people who are interested in the things you are like blah blah blah. Would you like to hear about them."

"I'm sorry I don't read."

"Well what are some of your other interests."

"blah, blah, blah"

We have subscriptions that cover those interests to like blah, blah. Would you like to subscribe to one of them?"

"No, you understand. I DON'T READ." <I was trying to make it sound like I was telling her I can't read.>

<Long uncomfortable pause with obvious paper shuffling on the other end>

<chagrined mousey voice> "Ok, thank you...."

 

[Fushigi]

SBC tries their long distance thing on me every once in a while as well. They say they can offer 5 cents a minut with some monthly fee. I inform them that's more than I pay now. I also inform them that my LD bill is usually only $2-4 per month so even if they were cheaper it wouldn't be worth bothering. That usually gets them off my back for 3-4 months before they try again.

I'm using Pioneer. It's 2.9 cents/minute and, IIRC, no monthly fee.

Most telemarketers, though, I simply say 'no' to. When they persist after I say no, I interrupt them by saying 'no means no' and hang up.

When possible, I point out I'm on the DNC list. But that's not too often anymore as most of the callers are charities ("I'm sorry, we're not giving any donations at this time.") or companies the DNC doesn't apply to because we have an account with them.

Which does bring up one point. The DNC list does seem to work fairly well when it comes to reducing the call volume, but it can't stop them altogether.

 

[Buck]

When I moved into my new condo, SBC was trying to sell their services to me. Ironically, they didn't cover our area. So, I felt obliged to tell the sales representative that 'I would love to use SBC but you don't cover my area'. <click>

 

[blakerwry]

It does work well, but after getting on the DNC list I started receiving more calls from charities and gov't. I assume they got our number from the DNC list. ...on the other hand, perhaps I just notice them more now.

 

[e_dawg]

I have significantly reduced the amount of telemarketers I have had to talk to by listening for the usual 2 second pause that dialing systems inevitably cause. If I pick up the phone and say "hello" and somebody doesn't respond back in 2 seconds, I just hang up. If it's somebody I know and/or it's important, they'll call back. If I'm expecting a call, then I'll say "hello" a couple times and wait longer. If I hear somebody break into a telemarketing script, I just hang up.

Only rarely am I ever left with a telemarketer that I have to talk to. But if it happens, I try not to waste more than 15 seconds with any telemarketer. I stop them before they get into their long pitch, ask them to state what the offer is for, forcefully state that I am not interested, and then hang up.

 

[Handruin]

That pause you speak of annoys me. I'll continue to repeat "hello" four or five more times even when the person answers the line. Then I chew them out for not answering when I said hello. Drives them crazy.

 

[e_dawg]

I would like to share a couple telemarketing stories, though.

In Toronto, I find Rogers Promotions particularly aggressive and deceptive.

Aggressive: I dismissed an aggressive agent peddling cable promotions one time very firmly. I had to yell at him to stop his pitch, say I'm not interested, and then hung up. He called me back in 5 seconds and said "sir do not hang up... you will revert immediately to basic cable service unless you tell me what package you want to switch to. You did not respond to our previous letters about termination of analog premium services." That got my attention, especially since it was true: I didn't open up a single envelope from Rogers... they went straight into the recycling bin every month.

Deceptive: Another time I was on the phone with Rogers Promotions was for a wireless/cable promotion. Basically, a free cellphone with a 150 minute anytime package for $5 a month. That definitely got my attention. I took the time to go over every term and condition several times with the agent for 20 minutes. Then a "verification officer" came on the phone and repeated the terms, and asked if I had any questions. I said "the agent told me that I do not have to pay a penalty if I break the contract before 2 years!" The guy said "whoa... no, that's not true". I asked "well why did the agent tell me that then?" He said "well, he was mistaken; that's why we have verification officers for".

Even with the penalty-enhanced contract, I decided that it was too good a deal to pass up. When I looked at my bill and found the incremental cable + wireless fees to be closer to $20-25/ month. I spent an hour on the phone with customer service getting them to explain to me why it's not $5/month and how they calculate the monthly charges. After an hour long tutorial in Rogers deceptive promotions and monthly charges arithmetic 101, I realized that I had been duped, hung up the phone, cursed, and swore never to use Rogers again.

Cut to 2005. Rogers has bought Fido (Microcell) and Sprint, meaning there are no other GSM service providers in Canada. Great. And when I moved into my new apartment, it faces north, so I cannot get satellite. Have to use Rogers cable. To their credit, they do have a better HDTV offering, but I am not a fan on being forced to use the Rogers cable & wireless monopoly. They recently introduced a Bell TV for condos service (cable through the phone line), but I signed a cable + wireless contract for 2 years, so I'm locked in... besides, cable through phone line is not as good, and Bell is another unsatisfying communications monopoly too.

 

[Tannin]

You sure you're not talking about Telstra in Australia, E_Dawg? It certainly sounds like you are talking about Telstra. Complete scumbags.

 

[e_dawg]

Oh, I'm sure a lot of big telco, cable, and wireless companies are the same. There is something infuriating about paying someone for the privilege of (1) getting duped in a way that makes intelligent people who do their due diligence feel like complete fools, and (2) getting shafted and not being able to do anything about it because there either is no competition or the competiton is equally bad.

 

[sechs]

I dream of the day of getting phone from the cable company, cable from the phone company, and Internet from the wireless company....

 

[Piyono]

Since we're swapping company horror stories and all...

I moved back to my parents' house on June 6 [Aaaaaaggghh! The horror! Stop! Please! -ed.]. I wanted to keep my phone number but didn't want to pay telco line fees so I decided to go VoIP. On May 30 I set up a VoIp account with Primus. They told me it can take "up to" 21 business days to have a phone number transfered after they've put in a request to the competing telco (Sprint in my case [now Rogers]). The requisite 3 weeks came and went and still no incoming phone service (I can make outgoing calls). I called Primus a few times to inquire (every different agent will give you a different story) and what I got was that Sprint had either not replied to or rejected their requests. No attempts to reassure me that it was being looked into or rectified, just "it's not there... guh...".
Since this was beyond the capabilites of Primus' tranfer request department I decided to call Sprint myself. After explaining the problem to two different echelons of customer "service" I finally got someone to speak to their tranfers department, who reported no transfer orders on my number. A bit more probing and it was determined that a possible cause for this was that Sprint has on record my previous address while Primus has my parents' address. "If a request comes through and some of the information doesn't match", I was informed, "they reject it".
Great.
Called Primus back with this information and they promised to put in a new transfer request immediately. A week or so later I still had no incoming service so I called Primus again. "The request went out", they insisted. I called Sprint "We recieved no requests", they insisted.
More promising more calling, more no-transfering. It was about this time that I decided to record my calls with these guys.
Yesterday I called Primus and insisted that they reimburse my Sprint bills for the duration of the transfer while I have no incoming service. "Of course, just fax in your invoices and we'll credit your account", came their reply. "Got you on tape saying that, sukkas!" I laughed.... then, out loud I said, "Thank you, have a good day".
Now all I have to do is fax in my invoice and see if they stay true to their word or if they'll need a playback reminder to keep them honest.

Piyono

 

[.Nut]

I dream of the day of getting phone from the cable company, cable from the phone company, and Internet from the wireless company....

How about Internet service from your power company?

Yes, this technology has been around for 40 years (many of the power companies themselves use it for some of their own networking), but every once in a while it gets another look/see by the utility companies for use by the general public.

The wall socket becomes your gateway to the world; just pay close attention to yer fingers at connection time!


http://www.computerworld.com/news/2005/story/0,11280,103039,00.html?source=NLT_AM&nid=103039