I think you under estimate Ekaf, Slo. He is stupenously naive, yes, often credulous, and his crimes against the English Lanuage are manifold: but he is no fool. Many of his posts are much more subtle than they look. Ekaf almost never comes right out and makes his point: perhaps in keeping with his cultural background, he prefers indirection, prefers to highlight something and then leave the reader to draw his own conclusions.
Ekaf became an Arab quite by accident. He, like me, is a product of Tannin's fertile (some would say fevered) imagination. (Though of course, I am a
real imaginary person, where poor Ekaf is just made up.)
Some months ago, a particularly obnoxious person over at Storage Review started making a series of violent personal attacks on Jason, accusing him of outright fraud. Now Jason had been a member of SR for several years, and although there have been some serious questions raised over the conduct of the business he used to part-own, in his time at SR he had always been courteous and gentlemanly. It is one thing to join SR so as to post a genuine, honest warning to other members: "This man ripped me off, take care". It was another thing altogether to relentlessly dog every thread that Jason posted in, spewing filth and abuse. We were seeing people post a perfectly legitimate on-topic query in the Computers section: "Sould I buy a Seagate or a Maxtor?", perhaps - and if Jason happened to reply with "If you want good seek time, buy the Maxtor" then this moron would jump in and spew out page after page of abuse. (He may or may not have had a legitimate beef. Not having seen any evidence for myself, I am not qualified to have an opinion. But he most certainly had no business hounding Jason through thread after thread, and in the process ruining the board for all the thousands of other uses as well. Eventually, Eugene stteped in and locked a thread or two, probably took some other, behind-the-scenes action too.)
After a while, someone noticed that this moron was the only one complaining about Jason in this particular way, and posted to say so. And - Hey Presto! - suddenly there were two, three, five new members posting with exactly the same sort of complaint. What a coincidence! Even more surprising was the fact that they
all seemed to start off by saying "This is my first post here, but I've been lurking for quite a while", and then they would go off into yet another rip-off that they had suffered.
You didn't have to be Albert Einstein to work out what was going on. Our original moron had got hold of some disposable email addresses and was carrying on his spamming under lots of different names now.
This was the point at which Tannin lost paitence with this jerk. It was his intial intention to wade in and say "How stupid do you think we are? Stop making up aliases." But then I suggested a better idea, a "sauce for the goose, sauce for the gander" theory, if you like. Having plenty of email addresses to spare, why could Tannin not make up some of his own "long-time lurkers, first-time posters" and redress the balance? Better yet, rather than have the "counter-fakes" disagree with the moron, why not have them
agree with him? Have several counter-fakes join the chorus, each one slightly more ridiculous than the last, until no-one could possibly be in any doubt that there was a lot of BS going down? Could this not be a more effective way of countering the moron, and more fun to boot?
So we got this:
SteveJudd Joined: 06 May 2002 Posts: 2 Location: Dallas, TX Posted: Mon May 06, 2002 9:38 am
Jeezz... You guys too? This thief is more of an operator than I thought. He took me for $630. Bought a Pentium from him on E-Bay, turned out to be a
Pentium-II. And it was the wrong colour. I specifically told him that I wanted a yellow one.
(First post - been lurking for a long time.)
will Joined: 19 Feb 2002 Posts: 330 Location: Rowland Heights, CA Posted: Mon May 06, 2002 9:52 am
(Quoted SteveJudd's post, then ...)
LMAO AGAIN!!! MY GAWD, this thread is the funniest! How many times have we seen a "oh, you too!!! I got ripped! I have been lurking here for a while..."
Darn, you got a yellow Pentium II instead of a Pentium. Sucks to be you! You sure got ripped.
<-- that doesn't truly express my feeling of roflmfao....
Alan_Jones Joined: 06 May 2002 Posts: 1 Location: Moosehead, Canada Posted: Mon May 06, 2002 9:55 am
It's only the difficulty of crossing state lines that makes it possible for jumped-up corporate executives to escape their just deserts like this. My business bought stuff from Night Tecnology and we have never seen such terrible service. Ever. The guy was rude, arrogant, and didn't know the first thing about computers. I said as much to my supervisor - I mean, would you buy a computer part from a guy who looked like that? Well, we did, and it never arrived, but it wasn't worth chasing across the state line.
My advice to you, Bill and Tony, is to call the FBI.
That's what I did.
SteveJudd Joined: 06 May 2002 Posts: 2 Location: Dallas, TX Posted: Mon May 06, 2002 10:07 am
LISTEN YOU CLUELESS NEWBIE I specially wanted a yellow one. That's what I was promised and it isn't what I got.
I suppose you think it is a joke, well you just don't understand anything about business in the Free World. We have new drapes in the study and my wife is very sensitive about decor and because of that idiot at Night Computers I still haven't heard the end of it. AND he won't give me my money back.
Next time I'm going to go straight to the best and get a Presario like I should have done in the first place. I guess you live and you learn.
(And finally ...)
Ekaf-ami Joined: 06 May 2002 Posts: 38 Location: Madrid Posted: Mon May 06, 2002 10:42 am
Please excuse for my bad english. I too am long time excellent reader of Storagereview.com website, and victim of practices sharp by on-line retailer the many-names Mr Jasaon Hegel.
November 4th I place order, take money from Mastercard credit card OK, never ship any nothing even despite me sending emails every day. Mr Hegel say why I change address, I say because I Islamic student studying computer in Madrid now not in Bagdad anymore is why I move address to new place but he never ship nothing. I email 50 times, call my mother every day but he put money in pocket not ship Microsoft Office 2000 software package like I order to my mother and not ship it to me by exress or any other way.
Honest man not has so many names and move around all the time. Please, my American friends, send this fraud maker to JAIL.
(Sorry for my english.)
Ekaf
had to be an Arab, because spelling "I am a fake" backwards produces a name that just could be Arab, and couldn't possibly be anything else much. The intention was to let that stuff simmer for a few hours, and then carry on the ridiculousness just a little bit further, in case the point wasn't clear enough already. But by the time we looked at the thread again, Eugene had finally, at long last, taken action and the fun was over.
SteveJudd and Alan Jones dissappeared right away, of course, but Ekaf refused to die. In his softly-spoken, mangled English way, Ekaf is a staunch supporter of human rights, and campaigns tirelessly to point out the ridiculous, the evil, and the downright stupid. Ekaf despises the way that mass communications and cultural imperialism are fast wiping out the wonderous varieties of individual culture around the world and replacing this richness and diversity with bland and worthless Hollywood values. To that end, he persistently finds himself unable to distinguish between the United States and the Client States: he thinks John Howard is the State Governer of Australia, that New Zealand sends representatives to Congress in Washington, and that Montreal is the capital of Montana.
When someone started a thread about one of those interminable Shock! Horror! Fox News items about a schoolteacher being suspended for something that was really nothing out of the ordinary and deserved a reprimand, if that, Ekaf gently poked fun at the knee-jerk regulators, saying:
Is not institution of Capital Punishment designed by wise Fathers of Nation for just such circumstance? When have good law why not use same for designful purpose? Why cannot Mr George W Bush be more actful on this shameful lewdness? Where is gallows in State of Canada?
Ekaf is devoutly apolitical. He values the idea of freedom and of citizens having a vote, but (if he should ever be given that unimaginable right in his own country), would quite likely waste it, as, given his background and what little he knows of the West, he seems unable to conceive of the idea of an honest politician:
Who is this Mr None Above? Is good man? What party he belong to? No matter. When get Green Card, I vote for him anyway. (Pity he not be standing in my country. No-one stand for election in my country, in case he get shorter all-sudden. Head of Government one question. Head on shoulders still, that be different question.)
As you can see, Ekaf, for all his naivety, also has a clear sense of the practical: he is a survivor. He can display a surprising depth of knowledge on some subjects, and grow quite passionate on them:
Forgive teremerity of myself make posting regards this topic, but mine is some knowledge of this subject. When looking for position in excellent foreign university, I consider beautiful USA as well as excellent Europe.
Wonderful United States have very best in universities such as Harvard and Princeton and other Ivy League type which be absolutely equal best with Sorbourne and Oxford and other great university of world.
This be why I study here in Madrid. I apply for Cambridge and Sorbourne, LSE, Harvard, Stanford and other famous #1 Top University but not be-time smart person enough, so all say to me "no dice", and "we not want you, Ekaf-Ami".
Now make no mistake because my English be bad. I am nobody dumbkopf! I be #3 smartest student im my home city of Bagdad! But University of Cambridge say to me, "only take number 1 smartest student", and Harvard and all other Ivy League say to me the same.
But not-so-famous university in Europe still be very smart places. I learn almost as much here in Madrid as at Oxford or Stanford. Would be mostly similar in all other European university, even no-name one.
But no-name American university - ha! They take my dog and give him Master's Degree. If be smart dog, they make him Dr. Rover with PHD!
Short of my story is European University be uniform high standard, except absolute top like Sorbourne (which say to me in letter "not smart enough, Ekaf-Ami", same as Harvard say).
American university be mixture: very best is very very best. But not-so-best is joke.
Always, with Ekaf, you must look for what lies
behind the post. As often as not, it is just some harmless fun, a modern-day Peter Sellers Indian or Inspector Closeau (without the phenomenal talent that Sellers had, of course), but equally often, Ekaf intends to draw out a deeper point. In the ECS reliability thread here recently, for example, it began to look as though it would degenerate into a rather pointless "I can link to more posts supporting my point of view than you can link to posts supporting your point of view" argument. So Ekaf posted to say:
Excuse me for speaking in this thread, gentlemen and ape, but is of noticable to me that typing "ECS very reliable" into Google Search Engine yields a total of 543 links, wheras typing "ECS crap" into same Google Search Engine as previously mentioned yields 2870 links.
As he so often does, he was cloaking his initial point - that ECS has a well-known, well-publicised and problematic history - inside a joke, and inside that, cloaking his
real point: that searching for product reliability information on the web is a process that requires a great deal of careful thought beforehand. Did you think his choice of a
two word "ECS crap" phrase and a
three word "ECS very reliable" phrase was accidental? Right from the start it was intended to make a point - that statistically biasing surveys of this kind is child's play, and the results to be obtained from these methods are very, very suspect. Just in case the point was not clear already, he followed up with an even more absurd demonstration of statistical imcompetence:
Ahh, is obvious that is sharply divide of opinion. Every person believe ECS is good, or ECS bad. No-one believe ECS is in-between. I have proof of the type statistical for this: when search on Google Search Engine for phrases "ECS" and "only a little bit crap" is no results at all!
He loves to spot that particular type of flawed reasoning which builds a grand edifice of perfectly rational logic upon a spurious or unexamined assumption. For example, over at SR, there was a debate going on about the (great performance improvement)/(useless, worthless, too small a performance improvement) that a newly released video driver had brought about. In amongst the heat and light, no-one seemed to have thought about the underlying question: why had the
previous drivers not been able to deliver more than a fraction of the performance that the hardware was capable of?
Excuse my ignorance, gentlemen of Storage Review Forum, but is always two questions to be asked when camel runs faster in second race than he runs in first race.
Many people say "why good camel run so much faster now?" and clap hands in delight at extra speed. But I say "why bad camel run so slow in first race?".
If new release of Detonator drivers 4.0 not faster than previous release 3.x, but 3.X and 4.0 both much faster than 2.x and very very much faster than Detonators drivers 1.X, then maybe real question is "why good people at Nvidia write such horrible drivers for so long and only make them all fix up now in last year or two?"
Sometimes I think there be only one First-Class-Number-One programmer writing video driver softwares in the whole world. First he work for 3DFX on Voodoo drivers, then take one year off go play golf or something, then he work for Nvidia writing new version of Detonator drivers, but now playing golf again. (Sadly.) Maybe he soon go work for ATI. I am muchly hoping so.
Or, to take another example, Ekaf doing his best to demonstrate the utter stupidity of saying that that most destructive of all things, war, is "good for the economy".
The period (first 5-10 years or so) after a successful war are always prosperous.
You speak plain truth Mr XYZ, sir. This is because of universal law of human nature. My happiest time of day is always beautiful first five minutes after I stop hitting humble self on head with hammer. People always ask "why you cause pain, hit self with hammer?" I tell them "is not pain, is beautiful relaxation when stop, here - you want borrow my hammer, feel good also?".
Sure, Ekaf is saying, in his eliptical way, go right ahead and have a war. Kill lots of people, waste an enormous amount of money and resources and highly-skilled labour to make bombs and shells and use them to destroy other, useful things which themselves took masive investments to build and perfect. Six months or so of war, and no matter what country you return to, no matter how poor it is, no matter how degraded your resources are, it will seem like heaven after the man-made hell of war.
Where Tannin is plain-spoken and does not suffer fools gladly, and even I can be blunt to the point of rudeness from time to time, Ekaf is unfailingly polite, and when he feels called upon to correct an error, he does so gently, with more tact than either of us. Consider this ... er ... rather juvenile post, and Ekaf's response (emphasis added and names changed to protect the innocent). A Tannin would have said "You idiot - seeiong as we only know you through your posts, how on earth can we be expected to say if they are "reflective of your personality"? (If any.) Not Ekaf. Ekaf likes to be nice to people, even when he is laughing at them:
Hi there...I've noticed that I'm close to the 350 post mark. And, just as a curious question for you people who read it: What do you think of my posts? Insightful? Stupid?
Reflective of me/my personality? Useful? Helpful?
Curious for feedback from fellow forum members. Comments of any sort are welcomed. (including flaming, name calling, etc etc...)...just..be reading to be able to support it (since that's the only way that you can take somethign negative like flaming someone, and turn it into something that could be positive for the person.) Answer at will....
P.S. If you feel that you need to email me the comments, by all means, go right ahead -
XYZ@hotmail.com.
Insofar members of excellent forum at here Storage Review Dot Com know only you from posts you make on forum, Mr Alpha754293, probably all members think posts made by you representative of person they know only because posts made by you.
Perhaps one day when humble self get long-wished-for Green Card and live Land of the Free voting in election and drink as much beautiful Coca-Cola as heart could desire, you and I will meet in real life personal flesh and be friendship.
Then humble self know if posts of good Mr XYZ be reflective of personality of said gentleman.
Please be nice to Ekaf-Ami, Slo. Of all Tannin's many aliases, he is my favourite one.
(Except for me, of course.)