mubs
Storage? I am Storage!
:-D
New Joke Thread
- Thread starter mangyDOG
- Start date
The JoJo
Wannabe Storage Freak
Excellent 
Hmmm, reminds me of why I like dogs more than cats...
Hmmm, reminds me of why I like dogs more than cats...
ddrueding
Fixture
Excellent
Hmmm, reminds me of why I like dogs more than cats...
My thought was "this is why I love cats"
Buck
Storage? I am Storage!
My thought: "This is why I like dogs, but have neither." : )
Bartender
Storage is cool
Raising rabbits is best. They make for good stew.
paugie
Storage is cool
It has always been rumored (here) that cats make for good chinese dumplings.
paugie
Storage is cool
come to think of it, the Philippines has had a better (worse) reputation for Azucena. (dog, vernacular term "aso", meat sauteed to a near dry sauce, complete w/ garlic, onions, whole pepper corns in beer or wine)
ddrueding
Fixture
I didn't have dog in the Philippines, but I did have it a couple times in Thailand.
ddrueding
Fixture
No. Like dog. Stray dog. It was served as a pepper steak, and was still grey and stringy.
paugie
Storage is cool
If it is prepared properly, dog can be like pork.
And even though this is the joke thread, that's no joke. Yeah, Dave, if ever you find yourself here, give me shout, I'll introduce you properly.
And even though this is the joke thread, that's no joke. Yeah, Dave, if ever you find yourself here, give me shout, I'll introduce you properly.
ddrueding
Fixture
Computer Generated Baby
Learning Storage Performance
An Irish woman of advanced age visited her physician to ask his help in reviving her husband's libido.
"What about trying Viagra? asks the doctor.
"Not a chance," she said. "He won't even take an aspirin."
"Not a problem," replied the doctor. "Give him an "Irish Viagra." It's when you drop the Viagra tablet into his coffee. He won't even taste it. Give it a try and call me in a week to let me know how things went"
It wasn't a week later that she called the doctor, who directly inquired as to progress. The poor dear exclaimed, "Oh, faith, bejaysus and begorrah! T'was horrid! Just terrible, doctor!"
"Really? What happened?" asked the doctor.
"Well, I did as you advised and slipped it in his coffee and the effect was almost immediate. He jumped straight up, with a twinkle in his eye, and with his pants a-bulging fiercely! With one swoop of his arm, he sent the cups and tablecloth flying, ripped me clothes to tatters and took me then and there, took me passionately on the tabletop! It was a nightmare, I tell you, an absolute nightmare!"
"Why so terrible?" asked the doctor, "Do you mean the sex your husband provided wasn't good"?
"Twas the best sex I've had in 25 years! But sure as I'm sittin' here, I'll never be able to show me face in Starbucks again!"
paugie
Storage is cool
Sitting together on a train, travelling through the Swiss Alps, were a Kiwi guy, an Australian bloke, a little old Greek lady, and a young
blonde Swiss girl with large breasts.
The Train goes into a dark tunnel and a few seconds later there is the sound of a loud slap.
When the train emerges from the tunnel, the Kiwi has a bright red hand print on his cheek. No one speaks.
The old lady thinks: The Kiwi guy must have groped the blonde in the dark, and she slapped his cheek.
The blonde Swiss girl thinks: That Kiwi guy must have tried to grope me in the dark, but missed and fondled the old lady and she slapped his cheek.
The Kiwi thinks: The Australian bloke must have groped the blonde in the dark. She tried to slap him but missed and got me instead.
The Australian thinks: I can't wait for another tunnel, just so I can smack the Kiwi again. AUSSIE AUSSIE AUSSIE OI OI OI!!
blonde Swiss girl with large breasts.
The Train goes into a dark tunnel and a few seconds later there is the sound of a loud slap.
When the train emerges from the tunnel, the Kiwi has a bright red hand print on his cheek. No one speaks.
The old lady thinks: The Kiwi guy must have groped the blonde in the dark, and she slapped his cheek.
The blonde Swiss girl thinks: That Kiwi guy must have tried to grope me in the dark, but missed and fondled the old lady and she slapped his cheek.
The Kiwi thinks: The Australian bloke must have groped the blonde in the dark. She tried to slap him but missed and got me instead.
The Australian thinks: I can't wait for another tunnel, just so I can smack the Kiwi again. AUSSIE AUSSIE AUSSIE OI OI OI!!
ddrueding
Fixture
Nice Paugie!
An elderly Jewish gentleman marries a much younger woman. No matter what the husband does sexually, the woman never achieves orgasm. Since a Jewish wife is entitled to sexual pleasure, they decide to ask their Rabbi.
The Rabbi listens to their story, strokes his beard, and makes the following suggestion . . . "Hire a strapping young man. While the two of you are making love, have the young man wave a towel over you. That will help the wife fantasize and should bring on the desired event." They go home, and follow the Rabbi's advice. They hire a handsome young man, and he waves a towel over them as they make love. It doesn't help, and she is still unsatisfied.
Perplexed, they go back to the Rabbi.
"Okay," he says to the husband, "Let's try it reversed. Have the young man make love to your wife and you wave the towel over them." Once again, they follow the Rabbi's advice. The young man gets into bed with the wife, and the husband waves the towel. The young man gets working with great enthusiasm, and the wife soon has an enormous, room-shaking, screaming orgasm. The husband smiles, looks at the young man, and says to him triumphantly, "Now THAT, you schmuck, is how you wave a towel!!"
An elderly Jewish gentleman marries a much younger woman. No matter what the husband does sexually, the woman never achieves orgasm. Since a Jewish wife is entitled to sexual pleasure, they decide to ask their Rabbi.
The Rabbi listens to their story, strokes his beard, and makes the following suggestion . . . "Hire a strapping young man. While the two of you are making love, have the young man wave a towel over you. That will help the wife fantasize and should bring on the desired event." They go home, and follow the Rabbi's advice. They hire a handsome young man, and he waves a towel over them as they make love. It doesn't help, and she is still unsatisfied.
Perplexed, they go back to the Rabbi.
"Okay," he says to the husband, "Let's try it reversed. Have the young man make love to your wife and you wave the towel over them." Once again, they follow the Rabbi's advice. The young man gets into bed with the wife, and the husband waves the towel. The young man gets working with great enthusiasm, and the wife soon has an enormous, room-shaking, screaming orgasm. The husband smiles, looks at the young man, and says to him triumphantly, "Now THAT, you schmuck, is how you wave a towel!!"
Mercutio
Fatwah on Western Digital
1. You’re like an exothermic reaction, you spread your hotness everywhere!
2. I wish I was your derivative so I could lie tangent to your curves.
3. You’re like a dictionary, you add meaning to my life!
4. If I was an enzyme, I’d be helicase so I could unzip your genes.
5. I’m attracted to you so strongly, scientists will have to develop a fifth fundamental force.
6. Baby, you overclock my processor.
7. Be my queen and mate me with your knight moves.
8. Baby, you make my floppy disk turn into a hard drive
9. You make me want to calibrate my joystick without the latest drivers.
10.You defragment my life.
11. Do you think we can make it a step more serious and disable network sharing?
12. You must be auxin, cause you are causing me to have rapid stem elongation.
13. Baby, let me find your nth term.
14. I don’t have a library card, but do you mind if I check you out?
15. Baby I’ll treat you like my homework — I’ll slam you on the table and do you all night long
16. Hey baby, can I see what’s under your radical?
17. If I were an integral, I’d fill you up.
18. I’m a fermata… hold me
19. I think my heart just lagged.
20. I wish I were your second derivative so I could fill your concavities.
21. Did you just combust?? Because you’re HOT!
22. By looking at you I can tell you’re 36-25-36, which by the way are all perfect squares.
23. It doesn’t take a genius to see how gorgeous you are, but if it did, I would be overqualified.
24. Baby, if you were words on a page, you’d be what they call FINE PRINT!
25. What do you say we go back to my room and do some math: Add a bed, subtract our clothes, divide your legs, and multiply
26. Baby, you’re a 9.999999999…but you’d be a 10 if you were with me.
27. Baby, every time I see you, my cardiovascular system gets all worked up
28. I wish I were adenine because then I could get paired with U.
29. What’s your sine? It must be pi/2 because you’re the 1
30. If my right leg was Christmas and my left was Easter, would you like to spend some time between the holidays?
31. You have nicer legs than an Isosceles right triangle.
32. You’re so cute you make my zygomaticus muscles contract. (Muscles that make you smile)
33. When you and me get together it’s like superposition of 2 waves in phase.
34. Want to meet up so I can excite your natural frequency?
35. If I was sin^2 and you were cos^2 together we would be 1
36. You know.. it’s not the length of the vector that counts… it’s how you apply the force
37. If I move my lips half the distance to yours… and then half again… and again… etc…. would they ever meet? no? Well in this specific case I am going to disprove your assumption.
38. Your name is Leslie? Look, I can spell your name on my calculator!
39. If I was an endoplasmic reticulum, how would you want me: smooth or rough?
40. I wish I was an Ion so I could form an exothermic bond with you.
41. If my right leg is the cell wall and my left the membrane, do you want to be the cytoplasm?
42. Our love is like dividing by zero…. you cannot define it
43. Let’s meet somewhere… you bring your beaker and I’ll bring my stirring rod
44. Baby let me be your integral so I can be the area under your curves
45. Hey baby, what’s your tanx cosx?
46. Let’s get together and test the spring potential of my mattress
47. Let’s discover our coefficient of friction
48. Baby, you’re so gneiss I’ll never take you for granite.
49. I less than three you….. (i < 3 you)
50. I heard you’re sin because you’re always on top when we make tangent
2. I wish I was your derivative so I could lie tangent to your curves.
3. You’re like a dictionary, you add meaning to my life!
4. If I was an enzyme, I’d be helicase so I could unzip your genes.
5. I’m attracted to you so strongly, scientists will have to develop a fifth fundamental force.
6. Baby, you overclock my processor.
7. Be my queen and mate me with your knight moves.
8. Baby, you make my floppy disk turn into a hard drive
9. You make me want to calibrate my joystick without the latest drivers.
10.You defragment my life.
11. Do you think we can make it a step more serious and disable network sharing?
12. You must be auxin, cause you are causing me to have rapid stem elongation.
13. Baby, let me find your nth term.
14. I don’t have a library card, but do you mind if I check you out?
15. Baby I’ll treat you like my homework — I’ll slam you on the table and do you all night long
16. Hey baby, can I see what’s under your radical?
17. If I were an integral, I’d fill you up.
18. I’m a fermata… hold me
19. I think my heart just lagged.
20. I wish I were your second derivative so I could fill your concavities.
21. Did you just combust?? Because you’re HOT!
22. By looking at you I can tell you’re 36-25-36, which by the way are all perfect squares.
23. It doesn’t take a genius to see how gorgeous you are, but if it did, I would be overqualified.
24. Baby, if you were words on a page, you’d be what they call FINE PRINT!
25. What do you say we go back to my room and do some math: Add a bed, subtract our clothes, divide your legs, and multiply
26. Baby, you’re a 9.999999999…but you’d be a 10 if you were with me.
27. Baby, every time I see you, my cardiovascular system gets all worked up
28. I wish I were adenine because then I could get paired with U.
29. What’s your sine? It must be pi/2 because you’re the 1
30. If my right leg was Christmas and my left was Easter, would you like to spend some time between the holidays?
31. You have nicer legs than an Isosceles right triangle.
32. You’re so cute you make my zygomaticus muscles contract. (Muscles that make you smile)
33. When you and me get together it’s like superposition of 2 waves in phase.
34. Want to meet up so I can excite your natural frequency?
35. If I was sin^2 and you were cos^2 together we would be 1
36. You know.. it’s not the length of the vector that counts… it’s how you apply the force
37. If I move my lips half the distance to yours… and then half again… and again… etc…. would they ever meet? no? Well in this specific case I am going to disprove your assumption.
38. Your name is Leslie? Look, I can spell your name on my calculator!
39. If I was an endoplasmic reticulum, how would you want me: smooth or rough?
40. I wish I was an Ion so I could form an exothermic bond with you.
41. If my right leg is the cell wall and my left the membrane, do you want to be the cytoplasm?
42. Our love is like dividing by zero…. you cannot define it
43. Let’s meet somewhere… you bring your beaker and I’ll bring my stirring rod
44. Baby let me be your integral so I can be the area under your curves
45. Hey baby, what’s your tanx cosx?
46. Let’s get together and test the spring potential of my mattress
47. Let’s discover our coefficient of friction
48. Baby, you’re so gneiss I’ll never take you for granite.
49. I less than three you….. (i < 3 you)
50. I heard you’re sin because you’re always on top when we make tangent