Pradeep gets hitched

Pradeep

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Well this afternoon I got married. Great day. :mrgrn: Pictures tomorrow.

Bartender, open bar on my tab cheers.
 

CougTek

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Poor guy, my sincere sympathies. You've just lost 50% of your value. Happens to the best. My thoughts are with you.

...And no more than two kids or Fushigi is gonna be really mad.
 

jtr1962

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I offer my sincerest condolences as well(just kidding!).

Congratulations, and I wish to add this comes as quite a surprise. I never remember you ever mentioning a girlfriend. Seemingly everyone else around here has either talked about their wives, girlfriends, or complained that they don't have a significant other(like me).
 

Jake the Dog

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wow. congtratulations from my family and I Pradeep. we wish you and your new wife a life of health and happiness together forever. well done!

didntseeitcomiing-niceone.jpg
 

flagreen

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Since I have some time on my hands I thought I would give you a few pointers on how to make your new bride "happy". Perhaps the other fellows here who have engaged in the marital game a time or two themselves might contribute as well if they so desire.

Let's start with the "bathroom rules".

1) Seat up when you tinkle... Seat down when you're through! This takes w while to get used to so I would encourage you to practice this several times a day until you have the hang of it.

2) Tissue should always be replaced on the roller when empty. The tissue roll must be placed on the roller so that it rolls off from underneath - never from on top!

3) The bathroom towels are for show only. Never use the good towels for their intended purpose. That's not what they're for! Got it?

4) No Playboy, Penthouse or XXXX magazines are to be kept in the bathroom any longer. Or in the house for that matter. You no longer have any interest in any other woman's body - period!

On to the Kitchen

1) This is a real heartbreaker... I know.... but the ice cube trays will have to be refilled with water and replaced in the freezer as soon as they are empty from now on - even though you don't need or want ice right now - that's not the point stupid!

2) Dishes - First of all, you must volunteer to do them at least every other night. Waiting until you are asked to do them is folly of the worst sort. Now then when you do them you must wash them off before you put them in the dishwasher. Sounds redundant right? But it's not asswipe - this how you keep the dishwasher from getting dirty or something. Just do it.

3) Cooking - No matter what you ever cook... it will never taste as good as what the Mrs. cooks. Understand? And when you cook... act like you haven't a clue (swear a lot... bang the pots around etc.) as to what you are doing if "she" is around the house.

4) Fridge - No more hunting trophys or Hard Disk Drives in the freezer. And ever notice those dates on the milk carton? Been wondering what they're for? Well that's the date on which the milk turns to poison and must be thrown out. I know... it still tastes fine... hasn't even turned yellow yet for christ's sake... but throw it out anyway Buster!

5) The blender - The blender is not for cleaning fish - period!


Time for a break... more later...
 

Fushigi

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First of all, congratulations!
CougTek said:
...And no more than two kids or Fushigi is gonna be really mad.
:tounge: Making me mad isn't the issue. All I want is for people to realize the impact they are having on society and the environment.

BTW, sometimes even having that first kid can be tough. My wife and I are going through infertility treatment right now. It's not pleasant.
flagreen said:
Let's start with the "bathroom rules".

1) Seat up when you tinkle... Seat down when you're through! This takes w while to get used to so I would encourage you to practice this several times a day until you have the hang of it.
Yeah, for some reason women don't seem to grasp the concept of "look before you sit."
2) Tissue should always be replaced on the roller when empty. The tissue roll must be placed on the roller so that it rolls off from underneath - never from on top!
Hmm. We do over-the-top ourselves so this may be more of a personal preference thing. Adapt to whatever she was doing in her apartment.
3) The bathroom towels are for show only. Never use the good towels for their intended purpose. That's not what they're for! Got it?
The tricky part is knowing the difference between the good towels and the regular ones.
4) No Playboy, Penthouse or XXXX magazines are to be kept in the bathroom any longer. Or in the house for that matter. You no longer have any interest in any other woman's body - period!
Thankfully, you still have internet access. Ideally you'll use separate PCs so she won't accidentally see your browsing history (if you forget to clear it).
On to the Kitchen

1) This is a real heartbreaker... I know.... but the ice cube trays will have to be refilled with water and replaced in the freezer as soon as they are empty from now on - even though you don't need or want ice right now - that's not the point stupid!
Our freezer has an icemaker. Worth every penny. Ditto the water dispenser.
2) Dishes - First of all, you must volunteer to do them at least every other night. Waiting until you are asked to do them is folly of the worst sort. Now then when you do them you must wash them off before you put them in the dishwasher. Sounds redundant right? But it's not asswipe - this how you keep the dishwasher from getting dirty or something. Just do it.
My wife grew up without a dishwasher so she's quite used to doing dishes by hand. I'm trying to get her to use the dishwasher more often but she will still hand-wash more than necessary. I will admit, though, that the dishwasher isn't particularly good on pots and pans but it excels at pretty much everything else. I'm trying for the compromise position of washing the pots & pans by hand and everything else in the machine. One thing that does make the dishwasher work better is to always - always - use the heavy duty cycle and extra dish soap (if applicable). My other tip is that I use the passive (non-heated) drying mode to save electricity.

Finally, when I'm done cooking I leave the pots on the stove. She will clean up after me. I think she likes that. Not so much the cleaning, but knowing she's needed to look after me.
3) Cooking - No matter what you ever cook... it will never taste as good as what the Mrs. cooks. Understand? And when you cook... act like you haven't a clue (swear a lot... bang the pots around etc.) as to what you are doing if "she" is around the house.
Sometime you have to intentionally overcook something to reinforce this. Apologize, of course, when the results are tasted or if something gets ruined.
4) Fridge - No more hunting trophys or Hard Disk Drives in the freezer. And ever notice those dates on the milk carton? Been wondering what they're for? Well that's the date on which the milk turns to poison and must be thrown out. I know... it still tastes fine... hasn't even turned yellow yet for christ's sake... but throw it out anyway Buster!
In our house I'm the one who notices expiration dates. Which is a good thing as it makes me look more attentive.
5) The blender - The blender is not for cleaning fish - period!
Mmmm .. fish shakes ... :eek4:

OK, my list. Slightly more serious than the above.

1. Stupid 'holidays' like Sweetest Day all of a sudden mean you have to do something. Get used to buying small gifts, flowers, and cards. Buying gifts just for Christmas and her birthday no longer cuts it. I'm blunt and ask what she wants. I also watch and talk to her about stuff we see when we're out shopping. I make a mental note at that moment and then write it down later. Great gifts ideas include anything that make her more relaxed (massagers, a day at a spa, aromatherapy, etc.), jewelry, scented candles, etc.

2. Take out the trash. Preferably before she has to ask. If you assign chores, make sure they get done as often as she wants. It is ultimately less effort as the alternative is to end up discussing it and then wind up doing it anyway.

3. Make sure she has private time to do whatever she wants. That leaves you free to have private time of your own. Time apart is just as valuable as time together. In all seriousness, lack of time for ourselves was a major contributing factor to the failure of my first marraige.

4. Make sure each of you has an 'allowance' of money to spend on whatever you want. That way you can't complain when she starts buying 5 pairs of shoes a month and she can't complain about your PC upgrades. Again, one of the most common arguments couples have is over money. Try to defuse this as much as possible. We maintain separate checking accounts in addition to a joint 'household' account. I don't care what she does with her account and she doesn't care what I do with mine.

5. For things like housecleaning, see what her standards are and realize you will never meet them. Offer to help but she'll know you won't clean to her standards so you'll wind up with the easy tasks like vacuuming. My wife probably does 75+% of the housework but doesn't think I slack off.

6. Give her backrubs.

7. Be prepared to be deluged by emotions. Things the logical side of you has difficulty understanding and coping with. Realize that her emotions will change frequently and without notice.
 

flagreen

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Excellent advice Fushigi!

I can't believe I forgot the most important rule of all - she is not your mother! Pick up after yourself! God did not put her into your life to "fetch" things for you either. If you want a can err.... "glass" of beer get off your duff and get yourself. And ask if you can get her anything while you are at it.

No more sleeping with your favorite rifle in the bed by the way, or reloading ammo on the dining room table. The dining room table is for "dining" (go figure) or for laying out dress patterns while sewing.

Practice looking "interested". From now on when you arrive home from work each day she will tell you all about her day. You must - I repreat must - be "interested" in what she is telling you. This takes a great deal of effort and practice to get right. I'd suggest you practice by looking at yourself in the mirror (as if you were looking at her as she tells you all the "interesting" things she did that day) and nodding affectionately while you hold a lit flame under the palm of one hand. This is not quite as painful as the real thing but it's close enough. When you can do this without grimmicing, groaning aloud or crying your are ready for primetime.

I suppose this your honeymoon night. Not much I can help you with there (not that you'd need it). That's more Mercutio's department anyway.

Seriously - It's the little things you can do for her which she will really appreciate. If she works, surprise her by having a nice bath ready for her or maybe even dinner when she gets home from work once in a while. I never tried it but they say this works. :)
 

Mercutio

Fatwah on Western Digital
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When I was with Amy, I had the power to make her friends jealous and to make her melt. Regularly.

How?

I am a romantic person. People get married and forget all about romance.

I never forgot important dates. What's an important date? Birthdays, anniversaries, first day of "that time of the month" (which called for a pint of strawberry ice cream to be consumed in a pre-drawn bubble bath. You too can count to 28 and frankly, the 10 minutes of work that this takes makes the next three or four days a lot easier)... sweetest day is a made-up holiday. She knows it too. Do something corny anyway.

Surprise her with flowers from time to time. If you have to, keep a calendar mark a date at random, and bring 'em home. She'll know you're thinking of her, even if you don't make a show of giving 'em to her (in fact, don't make a show of giving them to her).

Candles and scents are important. Presentation is important. Again, this is about thinking of her.

Open up when something is bothering you. She's your partner now (obviously, there's a time and a place for everything). She cared enough to marry you. She cares enough to listen.

Buy clothes for her besides sexy underwear. This means knowing sizes and possibly a little about color.

Speaking of clothes, those ancient, mouldy pairs of undies we all have? The ones we have some deep emotional bonds with? Don't fight too hard for them.

Shower together regularly. Learn to wash her hair. It's a sensual thing that isn't necessarily sexual.

Make dates (with each other, unless you got REALLY lucky). This is another one of those things that married couples usually don't do.

Take your Playboys out of the bathroom, but in exchange, demand "creative time" with the digital camera. ;)

If you have an occasion to give her a card, write a personal note inside.. Sounds stupid, right? After all, you got the card to tell her how you feel. Well, again, this is about thinking of her and, yes, it gives you a couple of minutes to organize your thoughts, and maybe to reflect on how you really DO feel.

For the love of god, clean up after yourself. That means not taking your pants off at the door and leaving your socks at the kitchen table, and putting a little garbage can where you tend to leave food wrappers and aluminum cans, and using that instead of the coffee table.

... and learn to cook some things. Even if you don't cook well (I figured out chili and italian dishes pretty easily), there will be times when you will be called away from sacred grilling duties.

I am the least spontaneous human being on the face of the earth. I had to think about these things A LOT, but hey, how many men can say they kept a lesbian satisfied for seven years?
 

Tannin

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#127: Make point of always having the last word in any argument. It is the last words that are the most important ones. Usually, these will be "yes dear".

# 128: Don't say "yes dear" unless you mean it, and especially don't say it out of habit while you are practicing looking interested and actually thinking about something else completely. I once went to New Zealand by saying "yes dear". Apparently we had an entire conversation about taking a holiday in New Zealand, probably several of them, including deciding when to go, where to stay, and all the rest of it. I was a past master at saying "yes dear" by this time, and never heard a word of it. First thing I knew, Ms X was jumping up and down happily saying "Tone, Tone, I've got the tickets!" (Huh? What tickets? Billy Joel? Cliff Richard again? I don't remember planning a concert?) After I figured out what she was talking about - concert tickets don't normall have Air New Zealand printed on them - I had to go in to work and have one of those "Boss, I know I'm not actually due for my leave at the moment, but it's like this ..." conversations. Luckily, he was a nice guy and bent the rules for me. It was a great trip, by the way. But I'm not kidding - I had absolutely no idea that we were planning it. Anyway - take care with "yes dear".
 

Mercutio

Fatwah on Western Digital
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Speaking of, remember to use her name every once in awhile. Calling her "Hon" and "Dear" and "Sweetie" all the time is heading down the road of taking her for granted.
 

Pradeep

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Thanks for all the kind words and advice.

Here are some pics:

http://vdpc.org/wed1.jpg
http://vdpc.org/wed2.jpg
http://vdpc.org/wed3.jpg
http://vdpc.org/wedcake.jpg

Her name is Tracy and we have pretty much been living together for over a year now. So we know each others habits. Tracy is 28 and I'm 26 - yeah the older woman thing. She has two boys, Zach who is three, and Josh who is turning six next month. So they keep me on my toes. We actually got the marriage license on Thursday, then had to wait 24 hours and ended up getting married on Friday afternoon, about 25 hours later :) It was a spur of the moment thing.

Personally I'm always a roll over the top man, dangling from behind the roll just doesn't look right. No dishwasher in our rented duplex so I'm barefoot in the kitchen LOL. I do most of the cleaning/cooking/etc as she works as a nurse and I can't work in the US till I get my paperwork into the INS and get a work permit/SS number etc. Yes I know about putting the toilet seat down but I do forget sometimes (and get reminded quickly!)

flagreen: Thanks for the tip about the rifle being a nono in bed, I'll just leave it under the bed (j/k). I would reload at the kitchen table but with the kids around I don't want them injesting primers etc. So I'll do that in the bedroom.

fushigi: Yeah you got it right she buys shoes and I buy hard drives. A fair trade :)

Honeymoon will be delayed till we can get some time off, but we did have a pre-wedding honeymoon/vacation in London at Christmas last year (yeah your right not really a honeymoon in stodgy cold miserable England for cripes sake!).
 

flagreen

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Lovely bride and pictures! You lucky bastard you! Oh well... couldn't have happened to nicer guy. :)
 

CityK

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Holy crap Pradeep! - you look remarkably like one of my housemates from a number of years ago (during undergrad). His surname just so happens to share your namesake too (popular surname?). Any relatives in around the Vancouver, B.C. area by chance?

CK
 

LiamC

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Congrats Pradeep. Just remember, it was self-inflicted :) From a Married Man.
 

e_dawg

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Yeah, I knew something was up... you never really did explain why you were in the US for so long! :) (but it was so worth it)

Congratulations!
 

Clocker

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Congrats! Welcome to the world of wedded bliss!

My bit of advice..... when she asks.."Do I look fat in this?" or "Does this make me look 'hippy'? The answer is always an immediate and emphatic NO. NO hesitation or thought is acceptable! :)

Again....CONGRATS!!

C
 

Santilli

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CONGRATULATIONS PRADEEP :excl: :excl:

No more sleeping with your favorite rifle in the bed by the way, or reloading ammo on the dining room table. The dining room table is for "dining" (go figure) or for laying out dress patterns while sewing.

ROFL. I wondered what I did wrong the first two times :wink:

Who's the girl in the red dress :?: :?: :bounce: :viking:
gs
 
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