Maybe I should have listened to time. I went with the stuff I listed primarily because of the SPD XMP support and the low voltage, the tall heatsinks aren't a problem at all.
Worked fine when I had it on the test bench running memtest but now that I built the machine most of the time I have one module that isn't identified as working in the bios with no spd entries for that module. Every once in a while it will start with all 6gb available.
If I swap the modules around I can see the module with no spd entries move around in the bios.
The fault tolerance is really something on the i7. Basically what happens is it is shown in the bios but without any spd settings for that module and the total system memory is down from what it should be. Windows 7 even recognizes that there is 6gb installed but only 4gb available and if you dig around you find that windows is calling that hardware reserved.
I did a little more playing around and at the modules default spd of "xmp profile1" 1600 the results are about always the same as above, also if I select spd "normal" which results in 1333 they behave much the same way. If I override SPD and set the speed manually down to 1066 it detects all three modules fine for a couple hours but now it won't even use that third module at that speed.
This is with all other bios defaults and memory is using spd timings, I actually loaded defaults once or twice just to be sure. Most importantly the voltage is rated 1600 at 1.5v and I saw that in the bios/easy tune. I found other comments on the net about this memory and this board selecting 1.9v when using the xmp profile1 but I didn't see that. As I understand it that much voltage could damage the cpu.