Something Random

[Mercutio]

Trump tried to leave NATO during his first term. Congress passed a law stating that the President can't unilaterally withdraw from military treaties, but oh hey, there's nothing aside from the possibility that a couple congressional representatives fail to show up for votes that keep Republicans from doing whatever the fuck incest and cocaine fueled ideas they happen to come up with at this point.

It actually wouldn't shock me if we wind up putting boots on the ground for "peacekeeping" in Russian-occupied Ukraine at this point.

 

[jtr1962]

Most adults over age 30 would probably be 4F regardless. Too many sedentary, pot-smoking people who have ruined their eyes from bad phone habits.

Unfortunately, at least once my ribs fully heal, I'll be among the few who could probably get through basic training. At age 62. Ditto for my brother and sister. Besides who would mind our cats if we're gone, I wouldn't relish the idea of being part of an invasion force. The last honorable war and time I would have willingly fought was WWII when the US was fighting for its very existence.

I sort of think Trump talking about these imperialist ambitions is going to be his narrative for why some future administrative positions don't get adopted. "The Generals" or "the Deep State" or "NATO" won't let the US be as great as I want it to be. I think he's trying to emulate Putin as an imperialist. He definitely has a boner for wanting to play with all our military toys, even if he spent his last term getting his every terrible idea shot down by actual adults.

Yes, he's definitely doing a bad imitation of Putin here. Even the much smarter Putin must be realizing by now what a bad decision he made invading Ukraine. Russia will run out men to conscript long before this war is over. The fact they're using North Koreans whose training basically makes them cannon fodder for drones tells you all you need to know.

Speaking of the draft: I never met my grandfather. He lied about his age and volunteered to serve in World War I. As I understand it he was a mustard gas survivor who lived with a rasping cough his entire life. He was 42 when the US started sending kids overseas again for WWII, but he could safely pass for 35, and every time the Army called up a bunch of farm kids from Central Illinois, he'd get on the train with all of them and spend the entire trip explaining to scared young men exactly what would happen to all of them, and then he'd go through the whole process with them as if he was a new recruit. That meant getting vaccines (with enormous 1940-grade needles), getting his hair shaved off and being issued a new uniform. He did that eight times.

I am not sure why but those train rides seem a world more heroic than being a guy who got a taste of phosgene in a trench one time.

He sounds like an old school greatest generation hero whose life might make a good movie, especially the train rides. It's a shame you never met him. Going by the dates he was born before my grandparents, even though I'm 15 years older than you. My mom's parents were both born in 1901. My dad's parents in 1911 and 1915. None of them served. My father served from 1952 to 1954 as part of the occupation force in Germany. No combat. He jokingly called it the fräulein campaign.

 

[Mercutio]

My grandfather was born in 1899. My grandmother was only 16 to his 36 when they got married. To his credit, my grandmother wound up with a college education and a full-time career as a nurse, which was her condition for marrying him in the first place. I bring this up every time someone in my family mentions the age gap between me and my partner.

 

[jtr1962]

I'm surprised people still bring up age gaps these days. It's only a number. You and your partner are only one generation apart, same as your grandparents. It's different if you're maybe 40 or 50 years apart. At that point a young person could be faced being a caretaker for their aging partner. And the older partner likely won't be around to see any potential children graduate college.

The oldest relative of ours that I knew was my maternal grandfather's sister, born in 1896. She passed away in 1996, 4 months short of 100.

 

[ddrueding]

The last time Trump was president the Danish immigration authority had a special header on their refugee page (paraphrasing), "Americans, we know it's bad, but you don't count".

 

[ddrueding]

And for age gap, the old rule (older / 2 + 7) seems to hold up quite well.

 

[Mercutio]

And for age gap, the old rule (older / 2 + 7) seems to hold up quite well.

I'm a couple years older than my partner's dad.
In my defense, the whole "partner" thing was her idea and it took over a year to convince me she wasn't joking about it.

 

[ArAfGo]

<<< truncated > > >
I've seen syringe guns that delivered four injections at at time, but that might not have been what you got.

Until I read your post I hadn't even remembered those syringe guns. I think those started showing up at the evac hospitals in about the mid-70s. But I haven't seen those in use at any of the civilian hospitals over the past few years after these docs started dealing with my cancer battle. They sure do have to pull a lot of blood out of me about once a month, though. 6 or 7 of those vials each time. But they are really good, of course. I get a kick out of joking around with that staff. Still can't figure out why they want to package whiskey in those little square things and then put that swab thing in there with the whiskey. Tough chewing that swab, I would guess.

Sure is amazing how far along medicine has come. But with the aging population we have here in Japan it is very rough on the medical folks. And my primary hospital is primarily for civil service (Japanese) so once in a bit the docs have trouble with the big shots that don't like the waiting and such. Even past rank here in Japan is held in a bit of high regard, but not so much in a crowded hospital. So many of us old folks to deal with. Then you toss in that nasty cancer stuff and it's quite an adventure at the patient end. I'm fortunate as a foreigner to be able to use that hospital. I guess a bit of rank played a part in that, too.

Anyway, I look at this getting/being old stuff as a new adventure. But my spine is such a mess it amazes Doc Abe that I still don't have to use a cane or my new fancy hand cart thing I bought. But I sure am slow and not a good sight as I get around.

Some sports are bad, bad, bad for the spine. And those pro dancer folks have spine trouble as they get on in age. Those gymnastics folks have the same trouble many times. My case was TaeKwonDo in the ROK for years and years. Super bad for the spine. And there was an Army doc tried to tell us on the team that we'd pay, but we just laughed him off and had him fix the broken bones and stuff.

Like I wrote, an adventure.

 

[sedrosken]

Yeah, there's a bit of a gap between my girlfriend and I, enough so that I wouldn't have pursued her -- maybe if we'd met ten or so years down the line -- although, frankly, I was not about to pursue anyone. But she went after me. We do joke about it sometimes, though.

So North Carolina's blocking the certification of the election for a democratic state supreme court judge who won the campaign, a recount, and a second (albeit partial) recount. Her opponent with the backing of the party is motioning to disenfranchise some 60,000 people, I believe?

The last election we'll need to vote in, everyone!

 

[ArAfGo]

Being a newbie around here makes this an odd question, I suppose, but are all members in this Community accounted for, IF any of them may live in that firestorm area in California? Reports we can get here in Japan make it seem that is a very bad business! Well, I assume it IS a very, very bad business!! So all in this Online Community are safe?

 

[Mercutio]

Lunarmist may be in California somewhere and Santilli is an LA resident. There are a couple others who visit infrequently.

There is no actual geographic concentration among us. We've had multiple members from the same area because long time members occasionally drag friends on here.

 

[jtr1962]

Yeah, there's a bit of a gap between my girlfriend and I, enough so that I wouldn't have pursued her -- maybe if we'd met ten or so years down the line -- although, frankly, I was not about to pursue anyone. But she went after me. We do joke about it sometimes, though.

In which direction? Is she the older one?

We're you uncoupled just a few months ago? This happened pretty fast.

I'm not one to pursue people myself. That could be both good and bad.

 

[jtr1962]

And for age gap, the old rule (older / 2 + 7) seems to hold up quite well.

Going by that rule I'm good down to a 38 year old partner. I want younger for several reasons, including not having baggage like a prior marriage, or especially children.

 

[jtr1962]

Sure is amazing how far along medicine has come. But with the aging population we have here in Japan it is very rough on the medical folks.

Japan is at the forefront of the aging crisis, with Italy not far behind. Both groups tend to live long to start with going by genetics. Add in medical science and they're living even longer. We're facing a shortage of both medical personnel and caretakers. Japan is actively working on robots to help with this. They may not have the human touch, but if the alternative to living at home with robotic help is a nursing home I'll take the robot.

The rest of your post makes me glad I avoided sports likely to leave me in pain as I get older. Cycling can do a number on your knees but so far so good.

 

[Mercutio]

not having baggage

Every person who has ever been or will ever be in a relationship has baggage, man. There's no cure for all the parts of life you weren't there to see; we all have our attachment styles and love languages and traumas from family long before anything else enters the picture.

One of the things that sucks for me is that my relationship experiences for me is massively unconventional but because I'm a lot older (and decidedly dad/uncle-shaped, blue hair notwithstanding) than my friends, I get asked for advice all the time, like I have anything useful to contribute other than "swallow" and "don't date anyone who doesn't know how to cook their own food or do their own laundry."

 

[ddrueding]

I consider women who initiated a divorce in their past to be a big plus. They know what they want, what they don't, and aren't afraid to take action when things aren't right.

Some of the tech startup mentality, fail early, fail often.

 

[jtr1962]

Every person who has ever been or will ever be in a relationship has baggage, man. There's no cure for all the parts of life you weren't there to see; we all have our attachment styles and love languages and traumas from family long before anything else enters the picture.

I don't mean the growing up baggage everyone has. I mean the kind they have just by virtue of having kids or being in many prior failed relationships, perhaps even prior failed marriages. If a person has kids from a prior partnership, you're going to be second fiddle to them. And I fully understand this. I just don't want to be part of an arrangement where I'm perpetually stuck in the back seat. On the second thing, having failed relationships damages you. There's no way around it, whether things failed because of you or your partner. Not to mention those in this situation often still have strong feelings for their previous partner. My brother-in-law left my sister in 2011. Eventually they divorced. While she's glad he's gone she still has feelings. Him even more so, despite the fact he was married and divorced since, and dated a bunch of people (my sister never remarried or dated). So again, you'll take a back seat and/or face constant comparisons to whoever they were with before.

Last thing is experience. You want to be with someone who had a similar range of experiences. A person with many prior relationships will need more to be satisfied. The last time I was in love I was 19. That's basically where I am in terms of experience. So I'd want someone starting off from around that. BTW, I'm not looking for marriage, or even long-term relationships. Basically I'll go along for the ride until we both get bored, whether that's 10 weeks or 10 years, then move on to someone else. Certainly not looking to have children at my age, plus I never wanted kids anyway.

I consider women who initiated a divorce in their past to be a big plus. They know what they want, what they don't, and aren't afraid to take action when things aren't right.

Or they're prone to bad choices, or just leaving without giving things a fair chance, or have unrealistic expectations. Not to mention divorce laws are skewed horribly against men.

 

[sedrosken]

I can understand the sentiment, but that's life, man. It's perfectly fine to have those standards, but just know that they're liable to leave you alone -- and if you're okay with that, that's fine. I was perfectly okay with being alone. I think it was when I finally hit that point rather than just convincing myself that I was, that someone found me.

To answer your question, she's younger than me -- she's 20, I'm 26. She's outside what I'd consider my normal dating pool of $age±4, but within the ($age/2)+7 rule, albeit barely. I asked some of my folks for advice before I finally gave in, and the consensus is that within a couple years it won't matter and we likely won't even notice. We met around March last year and she finally managed to break down some of my walls around September.

I agree with dd -- a previous divorce she initiated shows remarkable will, in my book, and I don't have time for someone who has to ask me what they ought to think. Half the time I don't even know myself. As always, it has to come with context -- someone who left after, like, a year, because they were bored, sure, I'd be skeptical of their long-term commitment. On the other hand someone who left after their partner raised their hand to them is someone I greatly respect.

 

[jtr1962]

Wow, so she married really young by today's standards. I guess context is everything. I can understand a divorce if you're beaten or otherwise abused. Barring that, it tends to raise some questions.

I've been alone all my adult life really, so I have to be OK with it at this point. Honest truth is I've always been picky. In HS there were only a few girls in a school with about 3,000 students that semi-interested me. I'm not even sure if I was ever really in love with the one I mentioned, or just in love with the idea of being in love. There was absolutely nobody in college I wanted to be with. Once you're done with school your chances of meeting people decrease dramatically. Standards exist to keep people from settling, which is really the main reason relationships don't last. Most of us not being inherently monogamous is another reason. I should also mention I'm borderline asexual as far as I can tell. It takes someone really, really gorgeous by my standards to get turned on. Otherwise, any relationship would be strictly platonic.

Anyway, I'm really happy for you that you found someone. The way you were talking for a while I feared you might end up like me. Not that it's completely horrible, but now that I'm not stuck home caring for my mother it would be nice to have someone to eventually travel with and otherwise share my life. I'm not going on long trips alone.

Today is the first anniversary of my mother's death. I'm not even close to normal again.