Top 10 Reasons You Know You're a Computer Geek

[Dozer]

While some are in denial about this, I think most of us can relate to the following:

Top 10 Reasons You Know You’re A Computer Geek

1. You own more than one computer

2. You own one computer but the cover is off most of the time

3. One word: Overclock

4. You find any machine you can get your hands on to increase your Folding@Home performance

5. You’re the first person your friends and family call when they have a computer-related problem

6. You’re a regular visitor to StorageForum

7. Other non-geeks glaze over when you start talking about computers

8. Installing additional RAM gives you a euphoric feeling

9. When someone says they need a part for their computer, you usually have an extra

and the TOP TEN REASON YOU KNOW YOU’RE A COMPUTER GEEK:

Your picture looks very similar to this:

(Sorry Cliptin, couldn't resist)[/img]

 

[Tannin]

As to the first count, guilty as charged, Your Worship. As to the second count, ah, guilty, Your Worship. On the third, fourth and ... er all the other counts, Your Worship, I plead guilty as charged.

I throw myself upon the mercy of the court.

 

[Mercutio]

11. You walk into your local computer shop/call your local distrubutor, and the first thing they say is: "So it'll be the usual again today?"

12. You have 1.6TB of disk space scattered around the house, it's 90% full, and you're thinking "Where are those damned 200BG drives we've been talking about?!?"

13. You have a computer worth more than your car.

14. When you look in your spare parts box, you realize you're a power supply away from being able to build TWO reasonably nice computers.

15. When you turn on the PC worth more than your car, your neighbor's lights flicker.

16. When you turn off the PC worth more than your care, the power company calls to make sure you're OK.

17. You've considered constructing a computer chassis from a box fan or an old freezer.

18. Drive Manufacturer employees e-mail you thank-you notes based on posts on SR.

19. Someone uses the words "Seagate" and "IDE" in the same sentence and you have to laugh out loud.

20. Other people find your thoughts on the subject of Fiber Channel immoral.

21. You have decorated any portion of your home with AOL CDs.

22. This is funny. As opposed to pathetic.

23. You've considered water-cooling for your power supply.

24. You know what it means when your PC speaker starts playing Beethoven.

25. You need the pleasant hum of an X15-36LP - and no lesser drive will do - to fall asleep at night.

 

[Prof.Wizard]

19. Someone uses the words "Seagate" and "IDE" in the same sentence and you have to laugh out loud.

Ha-ha!

 

[Handruin]

16. When you turn off the PC worth more than your care, the power company calls to make sure you're OK.

:mrgrn:

 

[jtr1962]

Only guilty on counts 1, 5, 6, and 8. Does this make me a 40% computer geek?

 

[Tea]

The relationship is non-linear, JTR. This means you are not a geek, merely an eek.

 

[Mercutio]

That sort-of actually happened to me. My apartment complex had a scheduled 12-hour blackout and, shortly after I had shut down all my machines, I got a phone call from my power company asking if I was satisfied with my service.

Here's a few more:

26. There are so many UPSes in your home, during the last blackout, you didn't notice for 20 minutes.

27. You overhear people talking about C Shells and Sun, but you can't understand what that has to do with the beach (this has also happened to me)

28. You've uttered the words: "I saved the last pack of Twinkies in the vending machine for you." to your girlfriend.

29. You've written 10,000 lines of C, while drunk, and it compiles on the first try.

30. You can produce, on demand, a 2.5" to 3.5" IDE adaptor, a set of Compaq drive rails, a TDR, and a #8 Torx screwdriver without leaving the room you're in now.

31. You make out to the Windows Shutdown sound.

32. You know everywhere in a ten-mile radius that has open or easily-hacked 802.11b access points.

33. You notice when your packets need an extra hop to get out of your ISP's local network, and it upsets you.

34. You experience intense, regular craving for Chinese, Thai and Indian food.

35. You gave your last 75GXP a Viking funeral.

 

[P5-133XL]

36. When your computer key is actually attached to your key ring.
37. When opening up a vomit box actually makes your stomach upset.
38. When you always keep a computer repair kit in your automobile.
39. If you have several NIC’s just lying around, incase someone (like a relative or friend) needs to connect to your home network.
40. When you have to bite your tongue to prevent yourself from inserting yourself into a conversation between a computer salesman and a customer. Note, You’ve become incurable, if biting your tongue wasn’t enough.
41. If you’ve attended more than one free computer seminar.
42. If you’ve spent more on one component of your home computer than most spend for their entire computer.
43. When talking to someone well traveled and fluent in multiple languages and you think to yourself that knowing multiple computer languages is similar.
44. When you need more than one surge protector to power all your computer equipment.
45. If you enjoyed reading a book published by Cisco press
46. When you have replaced a power supply to a larger unit when there have been absolutely no symptoms of a power supply failure.

 

[Mercutio]

47. It is not possible to use a cordless or cellular phone inside your home.
48. You have a 3NF Oracle 9i Personal Edition database running on a java client attached to the terminal in your kitchen, 'cause that's easier than keeping a recipe file.
49. #48 sounds like a good idea, if you haven't done it yet.
50. You've come to blows over RPN calculators, C comment style, vi v. emacs, or PC benchmarking strategies.
51. You can name both of the judges in the Microsoft antitrust trial, the prosecuting attorney, and the 13 states.
52. You've seen movies that aren't out yet, on your PC, and you don't have a broadband connection.

 

[Cliptin]

47. You have have a wall of heat coming out of this one room.
48. Your neighbors complain about the noises coming from your place but don't identify it as music but some sort of wierd humming.
49. Your tan is from your monitor.
50. Your place has so many cables on the floor you spend ten minutes describing with the different colors mean.
51. When you sit down at a machine that is not your own, the first thing you do is adjust the positioning and stretch of the picture using the monitor controls.

 

[Dozer]

51. When you sit down at a machine that is not your own, the first thing you do is adjust the positioning and stretch of the picture using the monitor controls.

ROFL (I've done this)

 

[Mercutio]

57. You need more than one surge protector to power a single computer.
58. You don't turn on the furnace, all winter long.
59. You've used blank CD-Rs or electrical tape in foreplay.
60. This

 (v3.0) GIT/GMU/GH, s:++, !y**, DI++++, UH/UU++ UV+, P, C+++ !E---, V-, W, w+++, !M---, O--, N++(++++)&gt$, K++, PS++(+++), PE-, R+, tv--&gt---, x+&gt+++, t+, !5--, b+++, D++, G++, e(+++), h+, !r--- Mtg++

Makes sense to you.
61. You know more than two songs about computers.
62. Someone commented on your pasty white complexion and you took it as a compliment.
63. You own a computer monitor that's larger than your TV.
64. You look at an Adaptec AHA-1510 and it brings back fond memories.
65. You cried the day you got broadband.

 

[P5-133XL]

66. You need to add another item to this list

 

[Clocker]

67.) When you start a defrag session, you like to watch it progress.

 

[Mercutio]

68. You've gone to Comdex just to heckle Bill Gates, but you really want a shot at Ballmer.
69. You know the "other" benefit of attending the Las Vegas Comdex.
70. Your computer has more than one remote control.
71. You've listened to a computer game soundtrack on your home stereo.
72. You get computer magazines, mailed to your home, that you didn't order and you've never heard of.
73. You have whole bookshelves devoted to the material published by O'Reilley and Associates.
74. You think reinstalling Windows to fix a problem with it is gauche.
75. ... but DELTREE C:\WINDOWS gives you perverse joy.
76. You've fixed a computer problem with application of toothpaste.
77. You've named your favorite boot disk
78. You can name, off the top of your head, the complete URL to more than five uncommon pirated software packages (Easy Recovery Pro? Sure that's http://fos... Oh. Sorry)
79. Someone mentions "Oscar" and you don't think about the green guy from Seasame Street or the grumpy guy from "the odd couple".
80. You can navigate Compaq or Microsoft's web site without resorting to the use of google's "site:" keyword ("Where's that f-ing RomPAQ?").
81. You've taught others to hate and fear computer cases that are shaped funny.
82. You've fixed a badly-flashed BIOS.
83. You saw the "Y2K" crisis as a vast economic opportunity.
84. You have a favorite DOS version.
85. You do just fine with EDLIN
86. You've redirected CON to a printer on a DOS machine.
87. You've bought hardware specifically for compatibility with an operating system you've never used ("Look, it says it supports QNX, right on the box!")
88. You've publicly stated that you refuse to buy a laptop until you can get one with a 7200rpm hard disk.
89. You've used your computer skills in some manner to make yourself more attractive to members of the opposite sex.
90. Your last HSF combo cost more than your CPU.
91. You're in the habit of smelling computer hardware. Old stuff, to see if it's bad, new stuff because it just smells good.
92. You've ever been asked to leave a store because you couldn't do #40, and afterwards people mistook you for sales staff.
93. You've done the "failed hard drive in the freezer" trick.
94. You know how to open up a Mac Classic.
95. You could dress yourself for a week in the crap they've given you at computer conferences and conventions.
96. Your deck is wired for ethernet.
97. Your UPS/FedEx guy curses every time he sees your name.
98. You bought a new CPU to shave 15 seconds off a F@H WU completion time.
99. Power supplies never seem to have enough molex connectors.
100. You still don't feel this list is comprehensive.

 

[P5-133XL]

Now that the top ten is at 100, perhaps the list could be pared down to 10 again?

 

[timwhit]

101. You can recompile a linux kernel without a monitor. (I saw someone do this.)

 

[P5-133XL]

From the list of 106 here's my top ten

From the list of 106 here's my top ten


1. #40 = When you have to bite your tongue to prevent yourself from inserting yourself into a conversation between a computer salesman and a customer. Note, You’ve become incurable, if biting your tongue wasn’t enough.

2. #50 = You've come to blows over RPN calculators, C comment style, vi v. emacs, or PC benchmarking strategies.

3. #51 = When you sit down at a machine that is not your own, the first thing you do is adjust the positioning and stretch of the picture using the monitor controls.

4. #89 = You've used your computer skills in some manner to make yourself more attractive to members of the opposite sex.

5. #91 = You're in the habit of smelling computer hardware. Old stuff, to see if it's bad, new stuff because it just smells good.

6. #43 = When talking to someone well traveled and fluent in multiple languages and you think to yourself that knowing multiple computer languages is similar.

7. #36 = When your computer key is actually attached to your key ring.

8. #63 = You own a computer monitor that's larger than your TV.

9. #42 = If you’ve spent more on one component of your home computer than most spend for their entire computer.

10. #13 = You have a computer worth more than your car.

 

[Prof.Wizard]

#107: Have nothing better to do and think of reasons of being a computer geek to add at SF's list...

 

[CougTek]

49. Your tan is from your monitor.

That one is, IMO, the funniest of them all.

51. When you sit down at a machine that is not your own, the first thing you do is adjust the positioning and stretch of the picture using the monitor controls.

Ok guys, since when are you spying me? I always do that.

 

[Bartender]

This is a long list, but I could only find a few that actually fit: 1, 5, 6, 7, and 75.

Number 79 made me think of my years as a printing press operator. To this day, UVed varnish on a bochure smells soooo good (and opening a fresh can of ink has this fruity note that is quite pleasant). No, I am not a substance abuser, just an ex-printer.

 

[NRG = mc²]

79. Someone mentions "Oscar" and you don't think about the green guy from Seasame Street or the grumpy guy from "the odd couple".

Its happened to me... also heard of a riddler and the first thing that came to mind was the famous cracker :mrgrn:

 

[NRG = mc²]

51. When you sit down at a machine that is not your own, the first thing you do is adjust the positioning and stretch of the picture using the monitor controls.

everyone does that. I also adjust the refresh rate most of the time. And remove window animation/fade effects. They use up too much CPU power.

 

[flagreen]

I can't identify with any of them. Well I've got to run. My hard drives need to be washed and waxed.

 

[Jake the Dog]

lol. top stuff guys

40. When you have to bite your tongue to prevent yourself from inserting yourself into a conversation between a computer salesman and a customer. Note, You’ve become incurable, if biting your tongue wasn’t enough.

- i'm guilty of having stepped in a few times but only when the customer is being whitewashed by a dodgy salesperson - i can't stand dishonesty or ignorant salepeople.

 

[Jake the Dog]

....And remove window animation/fade effects. They use up too much CPU power.

clearly a sign that you need a massive upgrade

hmmm lets see...

108. When you upgade your CPU because you fear basic windows animation effects are usuing too many of your valuable clock cycles.

 

[Tannin]

As to the 40th count, Your Worship, not guilty! I don't step into conversations between a customer and a dodgy computer salesperson because ... er ...


... because I am a dodgy computer salesperson

 

[Mercutio]

As far as things go, I answer in the affirmative on 86 of the first 108 questions.

And no, I didn't have anything better to do this afternoon.

 

[Koggit]

67.) When you start a defrag session, you like to watch it progress.

Thats kinda freaky I was showing the people in the library how to defrag on win98 and they all sat there amazed at the pretty colors moving.

 

[NRG = mc²]

clearly a sign that you need a massive upgrade

not me - they need an upgrade. I'm talking about other's computers. But either way I don't like them turned on - they reduce from the percieved snappyness since they dont move instantly.

 

[The JoJo]

Great stuff!!!

Maybe 109: You see red because someone explains to you that IBM makes the best/most reliable drives in the world!

Happened to me, now the guy doesn't ask me for opinions anymore.....oh well....

 

[The JoJo]

Addition to 98: you feel like you just let the team down, because you OC'd your CPU a little more last night and in the morning you found a freezed computer....

 

[James]

I think these two are mostly for those of us who live outside the US but visit once a year or so :

110: The first thing you do when you visit a new city is find out where the computer stores are.
111: The second thing you do is work out when you might have time to visit them. This stage may include steps like, "now, if I get up at 6am and drive for three hours..." or "I have four hours in Boston between flights, can I get to a PC shop and back in that time?"

 

[Sol]

94. You know how to open up a Mac Classic.

Precition Impact Adjustment Tool right?

Just a few more and I'll have the whole set!!

 

[Cliptin]

112: You plan your next housing arrangment not on quality of schools or distance to the store but on broadband availability.

 

[Jake the Dog]

I think these two are mostly for those of us who live outside the US but visit once a year or so :

110: The first thing you do when you visit a new city is find out where the computer stores are.

haha. you bet i do. if all else fails, there's always a fry's not too far away (on the west coast anyway). tokyo is easy too, the 2 miles of akihabara pretty much stumble across you before you get to it.

 

[Will Rickards]

You see a hot deal on a CD burner (LG GCE-8400B for $59.99 at Best Buy)...
And you are so tempted to buy it that you have to throw the ad out just to stop thinking about it.


p.s. I don't have a cd burner but I have a spindle of 100 CD-R's.

 

[Mercutio]

113. You hang on to drives that you own no media for, or media for drives you do not own "just in case".
114. You read #113, and can't think of any drives or media that you DON'T own.
115. You've had to explain to a neophyte techie that his desire for IDE RAID0 is misguided and unnecessary, and you accidently make him cry.
116. You've posted a link to DFT on SR more than three times.
117. The hardware aisles at Best Buy or Fry's are always good for a laugh.
118. You have a July 3rd appointment at Electronics Boutique
119. You're starting to regret your pledge not to shave until "Duke Nukem Forever" is released.
120. The second thing you do after sitting down at a computer is turn off its antivirus software.

 

[Handruin]

118. You have a July 3rd appointment at Electronics Boutique
119. You're starting to regret your pledge not to shave until "Duke Nukem Forever" is released.

Oh Yeah! :mrgrn: