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Forgive humble suggestion of self, but is muchly obvious we should be breeding better class of person. I vote we be now breeding for big tits.

Simple job. I need the following directry structure on a server: C:\data\sharedfiles (any machine on the network has full acces to this) C:\data\Alan (Shared folder, available only to Alan and on the server) C:\data\Betty (Shared folder, available only to Betty and on the server)...

Hmmm .... I think I'll go a diffrent route: the fastest available standard Athlon (32-bit), at a knock-down, drag-out price, and an extra X15 to keep things cooking along. Or possibly give up on fast computers altogether and get a digital SLR (which is affordable - almost) and a 500mm IS lens...

Neat idea, Doggy One. At this stage, I'll just present the alternatives - i.e., (a) and (b) above, and let her chose. Unless someone is very persuasive, I ain't ouching a Hewlett-Crapard. Tannin would kill me.

Computer Associatyes used to be good. Their strange little word processing package Textor was simply superb. Written in France, I gather, which probably explains a lot. Have they gone to pot? Also, how could you bugger up something as simple as a fax program? (Thinks: fax is as nearly as...

hmmmm ... "Turnip donuts, piping hot!" - doesn't sound quite the same, does it.

Hmmm .... I'm not sure what to make of that. Lots of information (thankyou gentlemen) but no clear consensus. Tannin swore that he would never sell another HP product again after the incredible balls-ups they made of their RMA service over the last few years. I'm not sure how long "never" is...

I like the traditional sort: dimply round ones with sugar dusted on the outside and strawberry jam on the inside. (I think it's strawberry - something red, anyway.) Only thay have to be piping hot, straight out of the oven thingie. The best ones are not exactly round, they're sort of like...

Why has my fur gone all funny? Also, why am I having trouble getting my eyes back into their sockets, and why has Tannin hidden his credit card just when I need it most?

Having had a number of horrible epics with Hewlett-Crapard All-in-one printer-scanner-fax-copier things, to do with incompatibility on software and hardware levels, very bad documentation, useless help desk staff, not working with Windows 2000 or XP or any other bloody version of your taste...

Tannin is so over-committed right now that he has to borrow one of my hands to scratch with. Luckily, I have four of them. So while getting hold of Tannin might be difficult, I can take pictures.

Can we retitle the thread please? It needs to be I'm not smart enough to figure out what time it is in America. Sorry Merc! I managed to dial the number OK this time, and Mercutio managed to answer the phone OK this time, but then I realised what time it was in America and ..... well ...

sorry

Help? Since the phone service was privatised? ("Privatised": this is what you call it when our well-paid leaders sell something that we owned off at a very cheap price to their corporate mates, who then help themselves to massive amounts of our money.) Help? Not a chance, Doug. Dial Telstra...

OK! We have ... er ... ringing sounds .... more ringing sounds .... and a delightfully accented "no one home" message from Horizon Wireless - with a rolled "R" and Irishman would be proud of. I guess the man is at work. Hapens to the best of us sometimes. Bird picture time!

Is a 3 digit area code and a 7-digit number right for the USA?

I'm about due for my spring moult. Would you like me to send you some fur? Maybe Belinda will knit it for you. A nidce shade of Orange would suit you, I think.

Actually, they were a little hard to find - my stupid phone only has number keys, and not even laid out the proper way (QWERTY). Should I use the # key to mean "X"? Or possibly to indicate 7 digits ;)

OK, now we are even. I dialed 0011 (international call prefix) 1 (USA) 219 (area code) xxx xxxx and it doesn't work. Bloody telephone companies. There is nothing harder for an intelligent ape than trying to figure out a system designed for morons.

You dress in pink?

Hello Jake. Pleased to meet you. My name is Tea. :)

PC-cillan. US$7.00 for a full year. Can't be beat.

I don't like reading any of this. What it comes down to, is that every time we play with ATI products, we get our fingers burned. I just don't trust ATI. But it's looking more and more as though we are going to have to switch (unless Nvidia suddenly get their act together) and I really really...

Nforce II chipsets work fine, but for all-round fuss-free compatibility, you can't beat a KT-400 or KT-600. Just the same, we use both and are perfectly happy to do so.

Would one of the mods mind fixing the thread width, BTW? Even at fairly high-res (1180, I think) it's a bit of a pain to horizontal scroll all the time, and it's a good thread.

One thing I forgot to mention before - and that was to grive credit where it's due. (I meant to put this in my rant-and-vomit-all-over-Symantec post, but I forgot.) (Short attention span.) Of all the freely-downloadable anti-virus tools around (at least all the ones that I know of), Symantec...

Come see me. I'm better than any bloody psychiatrist that ever lived. And I don't charge $85.

You mean you can just install (e.g.) the Norton Disc Doctor and nothing else? Why didn't you say so before - like 5 years ago? I tried doing that from the install routine once, figured out it wasn't possible, and didn't look any further after that. That's the trouble with being an ape - short...

So stop fucking about with half measures, my friend. Jump on a plane, come over here to where the summer is just about to start, and let's start living. You will have a roof over your head and a job for as long as you want it. You won't earn much to start with, but you'll have everything you...

Well, first bear in mind that none of this will still hold god in December. But let's imagine you were doing it today, and see hgow far that gets us. I'll start with your specific questions. 1: RAM: Buy DDR-333 or 400. DDR-266 isn't really available anymore, unless you are going with no-name C...

Not to disagree with E_Dawg, but ... well ... to disagree with E_Dawg .... Symantec are dreadful! Aside from being Microsoft bum-chums and the only company in the world of any note that regularly and persistently gives evidence saying what nice people Microsoft are whenever they get caught with...

I expect Tannin will get back around about Friday. I'm told that he might be rather grumpy, and walk funny. (What's wrong with walking funny anyway? I do it all the time. Doesn't make me grumpy.)

I am tempted. But then I'd need a new motherboarrd (or a PCI SATA controller), and I already have a Tekram SCSI card, so (my train of thought runs) I might as well just get a real SCSI drive (Seagate, of course) and go that way. (Runs to computer, looking for Seagate proce list.) Hmmmm...

I'll do that Ian, as soon as I have a TFT display in the place again. Usually, we have a nice Misubishi 17 on the front desk, but somebody has gone and bought it again. Bloody customers. Always buyng things. PS: I didn't think of the reverse D to A conversion. I guess that means that...

And it couldn't happen to a nicer bloke .... ;) Congratulations, JoJo. You will make an excellent moderator. (Not that this place seems to need mods - what's the matter, are we all so old and boring that we don't ever shout at one another anymore? Sad, really.) (Except me, of course. I shout...

Hi, Ian! Good to see you. I've been following this thread with interest, as I've seen DVI connectors on video cards and also on monitors often enough, but never got around to hooking the two together to see what the fuss is all about. And - I must confess - I'm not a great deal clearer even...

Hoolie Doolie - we have to stop Tannin making up aliases! My in-box is overflowing with "forum upgrade complete" messsages, and (not counting mine) they are all to imposters. I'm the only real imaginary person here. (Apart from the Bartender, of course.) It doesn't look very broken, Doug. Would...

Nothing seems broken. Do you want any help? I'm good at broking thingz.

Tannin has been folding for ages. He has the overclocked K6-III in the back office to play with, but it spends a lot of time switched off, and some more time dual-booted into OS/2, but he's been using the Windows side lately. Um .... what happened to my folding install? I better see where it...

Actually, the main thing I like about Word Perfect Office is Quattro Pro. A good spreadsheet is worth its weight in gold. I use the Novel-one (which was actually all done by Borland and merely badge-engineered by Novel) - i.e., the last of the Windows 3.1 versions. Yup, I've tried 123, I've...

Yep, we have tried Thumbsplus, Cquin. Nice program. In fact we have tried most of the ones mentioned in this thread, but keep coming back to our longstanding favourite PMView Pro, which doesn't try to make a database, just to get the fundamentals right. But it's time I trawled around looking at...

I find it difficult to understand any sentence with the words "improvement" and "outlook" in it. But why use MS Office when I have Word Perfect Suite?

These days, I never buy anything else except Samsung. I'm doubtful about the reliability of the big three (yes, even Maxtor - I've heard some nasty Maxtor stories lately), but in the end they have simply blown their chances of selling to us because of their on-again, off-again...

Thiz thread confuzez me.

Especially #3. :)

Oh. I guess it seemed like a nice, roomy way to travel to me, compared to what I was used to before - i.e., the inside of Tannin's head. Which was, if I may say so, cramped, overcrowded, frenetic, and (at times) distinctly insalubroius. Or possibly unsalubrious. I get them mixed up.

Hi myself, nice to see you back. Here, have one of my bananas to celebrate. (Tea carefully selects smallest banana, changes mind, passes over nice fat one.)

But isn't that the normal method?

On the avatar thing, remember how I was dealing with the tricky problem of opening a Dell midi-tower the other day? Using a Heavy-duty Precision Impact Adjustment Tool? Well, today I have to work on a Compaq... Edwards, you'll love Firebird, I think.

About 15 metres, Buck. It was very early in the morning and although the sky was clear the light was not great. They were very helpful though and didn't seem to mind me at all. Any closer than that and they'd have spooked, though.