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What a moron Mr Moss is. Do you know where most of those "sightings" came from? Two bored teenagers, a Labrador, and some brown paint - that's where. And Labradors don't eat sock puppets anyway. I'm very good friends with a Labrador, and she is a real sweetie. Always comes to the gate to meet...

OMG! I juzt realised what you said, Mercutio! You mean Lexmark make those all-in-one thingz? :eekers: That's a thought too horrible to contemplate. I won't even touch a Lexmark printer if I can help it .... if anyone brings me a Lexmark all-in-one, I'll .... er .... I'll ..... no, that won't...

I know what posting iz, but I'm a bit vague on the "orgy" side of things.

What'z an orgy?

Clearly, you have never used a Hewlett-Crapard all-in-one, mercutio. :( :o :( :eekers: :( But then, being a sensible man, you'd have more sense to do anything with a HewlettCrapard all-in-one other than vomit on it as you pass.

Clearly, you have never used a Hewlett-Crapard all-in-one, mercutio. :( :o :( :eekers: :( But then, being a sensible man, you'd have more sense to do anything with a HewlettCrapard all-in-one other than vomit on it as you pass.

Clearly, you have never used a Hewlett-Crapard all-in-one. :( :o :( :eekers: :(

Clearly, you have never used a Hewlett-Crapard all-in-one. :( :o :( :eekers: :(

Clearly, you have never used a Hewlett-Crapard all-in-one. :( :o :( :eekers: :(

Not directly relevant, but I've recently started using Photoshop Elements and it is s l o w ! On my notebook (Celeron 1800, 512MB) it's a slug. On my home machine (XP 2400, 1GB) ...... it's a slug. I think it's installed on my IDE data drive, not the X15 as I was not sure if it was going to...

We do our best to talk people out of installing XP, so we have not had that many calls, and while we encourage corporates to use 2000, we also encourage them to use Smoothwalls, so all in all, it's relatively quiet for us. Mind you, I'm saying relatively quiet - there are still plenty of people...

Kudos to Microsoft for putting the patch on their front page and in red so it's easy to see. They ain't burying it somewhere on a sub-page and trying to pretend everything is normal. Good on 'em.

Three inch, yes. 2.5 inch, though, seems to rob performance rather than add it, at least thus far. Have to wait and see, but on their showing to date, 2.5 inch drives suck. They have a long, long way to go before they will be an acceptable desktop unit. For starters, some decent RPM.

See? Lookz like I waz right all along.

You can't sell any elephant products, Greg, because if you do any at all, then you open up a whole vast market for poachers again: they go right back to selling ivory and pretending it's legitimate, legally-killed stuff when in fact it's from other elephant populations that are seriously...

We ain't got nuffin like that ... er ... is it a Greak Awk? Nuffin like it here, Steve. ;) Cascade iz beer, sez Tannin. "Bes bere in the iuniverse" iz hiz usual phrase, I think. I prefer gin though. Anyway, Mercutio, what's wrong with Toshiba? Sold quite a few of them, never see them come...

Tannin and I are slipping off for a few days birding and with any luck we won't be on-line again till next week. Bags packed, batteries charged, car filled up with petrol, great big bag of bananas in the back, and Tannin has shouted himself to a new notebook so that we can sit in motel rooms...

It's not a component. Case closed.

Zip 250s. Number sold: One. Number returned becaue the poxy thing doesn't work properly: One. Don't blame me! Tannin and I were on holiday. Kristi sold it. And it's crap. She will provide the details at some time shortly. I don't even want to think about it! Iomega are incompetent, greedy...

Unless this thing [b]workz[/i] it will be yet another example of a major dud from the ruling kings of shonk. I'd rather own an ECS motherboard than a Iobloodymega product.

I think the magic number is 999. That was th black heicopter man's post-count, if I remember correctly.

Ohh, I don't know about that. My Tekram card is pretty good. (We are not talking about SCSI, you idiot.) (Oh. Sorry.) (Anyway, it's my SCSI card.) Any news on an across-the-board industry switch to SATA yet? I had expected it to be really happening by now, but there doesn't seem to be...

And you are right, Tim. It is some kind of ape. Also, on the right, my uncle Stan. I didn't know you guys knew Stan. Nice guy. Good looking too.

Probably a European Otter, if I remember my otters correctly. Wonderful creatures! Has anyone read Ring of Bright Water?

Quite rightl, Merc. Indeed, it's so intensely stupid that I can't imagine that any computer maker would be moronic enough to go for it. Except Compaq, of course. And Dell. And Hewlett-Packard. And ...... well ... most of them, actually. You want intensely stupid, Compaq-HP have any amount...

Sorry, I didn't realise there was a popup associated. I've never been there with an out-of-date browser before. :mrgrn:

http://www.coxar.pwp.blueyonder.co.uk/

Yez, TANnin. And I'm supposed to review my postz for typos too, am I? (Stupid human)

Howell, are you going to take your avatar out from behind that password-protected server of yours? Every time I access a thread that you've posted to, it asks me for a username and password. :)

Most of it seems OK, Doug, but it's messed up my pozt count. I'm suppozed to have 10,497 posts.

Wow, what a cutie! She looks just like my friend Woof. (Tannin's owner. She's pretty nice.) But she behaves just like my other friend Ginger used to, till Woof clipped her over the ears and told her to settle down.

And we are back on-line. [/i]Whoo-hoo![/i] JoJo and I were reduced to chatting by email.

You might have to descend to the Regedit level, and remove everything that looks as though it might have to do with Flazh. Ugly, but that sort of thing usually works. At least it usually sometimes workz.

Absolutely!

She is a Blue-billed Duck, JoJo, on a very cold day in Ballarat. Well, you wouldn't call it cold, but I would.

Seeing az we are all being creative tonight and my writing ain't great and my zpelling zucks ...

I don't know anything about poetry, but I know what I like. And I like it.

Wonderful stuff Merc! I'm enjoying this a great deal. I was about to post to say "No! Stop right there, it's perfect" after the first one, but you have comprehensively proved me wrong. BTW, if I was going to mention a style, I'd go for Brian Stableford, only on acid, with perhaps a touch of...

I didn't understand Mercutio's lazt pozt. Doez this mean that there iz still hope for me az a decent person?

The nice sort of "ook". No more smoke-filled rooms: I think the Admin's Palace iz smoke-free, now that Tannin and I aren't there anymore.

I'm open to suggestionz, but I like the name we already have.

Quite right, Fool. If you haven't read Prachet yet, it'z probably becauze you can't read. Did you know that my uncle has a major role in the Prachet books? He workz at the Unseen University, and sometimes plays piano in a nightclub. Every now and then I drop him a line to say "ook".

How about an imaginary one? I'm a bit hairy, but apart from that, I'm pretty nice. Until you have had one of my all-four-paws back massages, you ain't lived.

Now just a darn minute there. You know who would end up writing the software, don't you. Same company that brought you Outbreak Express, Melissa, Windows Moron Edition, and the BSOD. Puts a whole new meaning into the expression I had a car crash, doesn't it.

I contribute here, PW (in those odd moments when Tanin lets me, I mean), and he contributes over there. And here too sometimes, but mostly just to be rude to me, I think. (You are going to pass his post-count soon.) He seemz very grumpy lately. Must be the cold weather making his gout play up.

Tannin is obsessive about the place: several thousand edits. I dunno why: it ain't all that welcoming and this is where his friends are. Scummy old bugger. And he spends far top much time over at the Bird Forum in the UK. Juzt az well that I'm around to keep him in touch with the real...

There have been a whole stack of new ones lately, so many that I get hazy about the details - particularly as we keep switching models to follow the sweet spots around. But as for the Inquirer, I lost a lotof respect for that rag when they printed that utterly stupid and demonstrably untrue...

The Inquirer ain't exactly quick on the uptake, is it. AMD have been shipping improved fans for .. oh ... a couple of months at least. Ever since the 0.13 micron thingies came out, or just after that, I think it was. Esentially, we don't bother buying third-party fans anymore: the stock...

Am not. (Yes you are.) Am not! (Yes you are.) I AM NOT LEXDIXIC! (Yes you are.)

Now where did that extra "r" come from? It never used to have an "r" in it. I mean, I'm not really an obsolete type of ape, I only just got here. Not more than an undefined but small number of years ago. THERE IZ NO "R" IN BLAKEWRY! (Apart from the one between the "w" and the "y", I mean...