Most ignorant thing I've ever heard in my life

[jtr1962]

I know many people are technophobic and/or technologically ignorant, but this person my sister works with has reached a new level of ignorance. First of all, she thinks that when you change the batteries on your remote you need to do in another room because if you don't it can cause the TV to blow up. She thinks the TV somehow runs off of radio waves transmitted by the remote (which incidentally uses IR and not RF) instead of via power from the plug.

To make things worse, she thinks you also need to cover up your TV at night because if you don't the government can use it to spy on you.

This person actually has a office job where she works with a computer. According to my sister she's equally hopeless there. I don't think it's a job requiring much brainpower, but just the fact that a person this ignorant can actually get employment is frightening. I believe she may have gotten the job through a friend, but nevertheless this speaks volumes of the low quality of workers in the US if a company would even consider hiring her.

I've worked and known some ignorant people before (my paternal grandmother insisted she knew someone who was raped by a dog and gave birth to a werewolf), but this takes the cake. At least my grandmother had the excuse of being part of an uneducated, older generation that was more susceptible to folklore. And I'd like to smack the people who spread these stupid myths or otherwise add to the ignorance of people in the US for all things technical (this sadly includes the media).

My maternal grandfather's favorite line remains true even to this day: "God must have loved the stupid person because he made so many of them". Substitute natural selection for God if you're not religious.

 

[Mercutio]

Ah yes, the pasttime of the IT worker: "My users so stupid..."
White collar equivalent to "Yo' mamma so fat", but at times far more amusing.

My users so stupid, I had a helpdesk call for a broken PC during a blackout.

I've had worse, but frankly if I think about it too much I have to repress my urge to slam my head against my monitor until I lose consciousness.

 

[Jan Kivar]

My users so stupid, I had a helpdesk call for a broken PC during a blackout.

My user only had broken display... :lol:

Jan

 

[sechs]

You'd be surprised what people think about their game consoles....

 

[ddrueding]

We had a receptionist who took way too many breaks. I connected a straight though serial cable to the back of her PC and put the other end on her monitor pointing at her. I told her it would dock her pay if she left more than once an hour.

 

[sechs]

Did it ever do that?

 

[ddrueding]

nope, she never left twice in the same hour

 

[ddrueding]

Another good example:

In Monterey, a tourist once asked me "why do the birds only sit on the white rocks?"

 

[e_dawg]

I have a cousin that was really condescending towards me. One time at dinner, she wanted to make fun of me when she found out I was a big investor at the time (mid-90's at the start of the tech boom).

Her: "You invest in stocks?" (chuckle)

Me: "Absolutely."

Her: "What companies?"

Me: (at the time, these were two emerging tech powerhouses) "Just bought Cisco and Oracle recently, and I bought Coca-Cola and Chrysler a few years ago."

Her: (laughing and shaking her head, and being totally serious, too) "Why did you buy food stocks? What a waste of money!"

Me: (puzzled) "Sorry, did you say food?"

Her: (again, totally serious) "yeah, you said you bought Crisco and Oreo? What's the big deal? It's oil and cookies."

Me: (banging head against the wall) "Cisco and Oracle? You know, two of the up-and-coming technology firms in California? Ah, forget it..."

 

[Mercutio]

Understand that I work at a company that trains others to use computers:

They: "How come I keep getting these messages that're returned "user unknown" with "Unicode binary.exe" attached?"

Me: "Because you have the MyDoom virus that I sent out a warning about on Friday, and because you insist on using Outlook."

They: "So how was I supposed to know that I was supposed to update my virus definitions between Friday and today?"

Me: <SMACK>

Me: <Spends two hours disinfecting every goddamn computer in my building but my own>

 

[e_dawg]

Yeah, it's disappointing when your fellow techies are idiots sometimes. I've been getting a shitload of virus-laden e-mails lately. Thank god I have admin rights to my PC at work and updated my virus defs first thing when the news first broke. Even with Tivoli desktop mgmt services and daily updates pushed to the client PC's, we still had problems (part of the problem was that the McAfee def's that were being pushed out were dated as of last Wednesday!)

Fortunately, home PC's were untouched with IMAP webmail and updated virus defs (new install; didn't set up Outlook yet ) ... although I suspect I would have been fine anyways.

 

[Mercutio]

In college I managed very large computer lab, usually by myself, in the Liberal Arts and Education Building on Purdue's Main campus. Literally, the least technical people to attend Purdue West Lafayette walked through those doors. I'm talking 1994 here, so if these things seem a little dated...

Over time the PC labs moved from Northgate 486/33s with 5.25" and 3.5" floppy drives to Gateway P5-166 machines (I don't remember if they were XL-models or not) with CD drives.

There was also a Mac lab. Life was easier when everyone was in a Mac lab.

With that in mind (this is 1996, and the 5.25" drives had been gone two years):
Ditzy Blonde Student: Where are the floppy drives on these computers?
Me: <points and grunts at 3.5" drive on nearest PC>
Student: Finds a seat. Proceeds to take out box of 5.25" floppies, pulls out disk labelled "senior project", folds disk to roughly 3.5" proportions.

Some hours later: "I can't open my paper on these computers. I've tried like, all of them."
Me: "Did you try a Mac? Were you working at a PC?"
Student: "Um..."
Me: "Well, let's see your disk."
Student: <shows me wadded ex-floppy>
Me: "Um... I think I know what your problem is."

The funny thing is that this chick had me write a note to say her disk was eaten by our computers, and I ended up having a conversation with her professor about "upgrading" our Pentium computers with "proper" floppy disk drives.

Another time I watched someone gently insert a CD into a 5.25" floppy drive. The disk was, of course, screwed, and I spent most of the evening listening to some idiot rant that we owed him a copy of some $20 CD.

More to come...

 

[sechs]

PCs! My school had mostly Unix workstations in the computer labs.

Try explaining "finger" to the unitiated.

 

[Mercutio]

Yeah. I had a lab of Sparc 5s that literally no one used unless the engineering and compsci labs were full.

In those days almost everything "internet" was done at a terminal session on a Unix Mini (Sequent, IBM or HP). Try to explain "CLI" to a comparative lit major...

 

[Howell]

Should have been there four years earlier Merc.
I'm not sure if they actually expected all of us freshmen to just know how to "slip" into the computer system and intuit vi circa '92 but few of us did.

I think of the 12 guys I hung out with only 3 had computers and 2 of those guys were ubergeek, convention-bound sophmores.

 

[iGary]

...First of all, she thinks that when you change the batteries on your remote you need to do in another room because if you don't it can cause the TV to blow up.

She thinks the TV somehow runs off of radio waves transmitted by the remote (which incidentally uses IR and not RF) instead of via power from the plug.

To make things worse, she thinks you also need to cover up your TV at night because if you don't the government can use it to spy on you.

...but this person my sister works with has reached a new level of ignorance...

That's certainly not ignorance, it's a psychological problem -- a definite phobia.

 

[sechs]

In those days almost everything "internet" was done at a terminal session on a Unix Mini (Sequent, IBM or HP). Try to explain "CLI" to a comparative lit major...

I'm glad that I went to a computer geek school. We had Mosaic on our DECstations. And when you could get a hold of one witha colour monitor!

 

[Tannin]

Ha! There were no computers at all when I went to school. Ten years later, at university, we had computers, but no screens. You used a terminal with a big roll of paper and a printer.

 

[time]

<nods knowingly>

Don't forget punch cards!

The most powerful computer (actually the only one) at my school was my HP programmable calculator. My advanced maths teacher was insanely jealous.

 

[Fushigi]

Ten years later, at university, we had computers, but no screens. You used a terminal with a big roll of paper and a printer.

Teletype; ours used a box of greenbar; not a roll. But we also had PCs (XT class) and even 1 Tektronix graphics terminal. No such Internet critter at the time.

Modems were mostly 300 or 1200 baud; the crappy local GTE phone system couldn't really handle the new-fangled 2400 bd units very well.

A geek friend (it was an engineering school - we were all geeks) strapped his terminal on the VAX to 50 baud. At that rate, you can type waaaay faster than it can respond. Fun to watch; irritating to use.

 

[Bartender]

When I went to school . . . uh wait, I never went, I've always been a bartender.

 

[jtr1962]

Ah yes, punch cards. I remember one computer lab in my school still had input via punch cards. I had to input a whole BASIC program this way. This was in the early 1980s. Most of the rest had terminals, but I don't think there were any color terminals.

 

[jtr1962]

...First of all, she thinks that when you change the batteries on your remote you need to do in another room because if you don't it can cause the TV to blow up.

She thinks the TV somehow runs off of radio waves transmitted by the remote (which incidentally uses IR and not RF) instead of via power from the plug.

To make things worse, she thinks you also need to cover up your TV at night because if you don't the government can use it to spy on you.

...but this person my sister works with has reached a new level of ignorance...

That's certainly not ignorance, it's a psychological problem -- a definite phobia.

Let's just say the first part (about the TV blowing up) is technical ignorance, and the second part is a definite phobia of some kind. In any case this person has issues. :mrgrn:

 

[sechs]

Ah yes, punch cards. I remember one computer lab in my school still had input via punch cards. I had to input a whole BASIC program this way. This was in the early 1980s. Most of the rest had terminals, but I don't think there were any color terminals.

Punch cards, 8-track tape, one foot floppies... yes, those were the days when you needed a special room for a computer and one guy who just mounted and unmounted tape reels....

 

[Bartender]

Besides running up my electric bill, and creating noise, what else are computers good for? They haven't helped out much around the bar. They're okay as heaters and drink warmers, but pretty bulky. I think we should just eliminate computers altogether.

 

[EdwardK]

<snip>... I think we should just eliminate computers altogether.

Thats what one of my environmentally conscious students said.
I said "Oookay, I'll take away your computer then; you have use a type writer, abacus, and use snail mail to communicate instead of emails."
That shut her up immediately :mrgrn:

Cheers,
Edward

 

[Bartender]

Thats what one of my environmentally conscious students said.
I said "Oookay, I'll take away your computer then; you have use a type writer, abacus, and use snail mail to communicate instead of emails."
That shut her up immediately :mrgrn:

Cheers,
Edward

Typewriters? Buck's an old genius with those, so he could type for me. Abacus? We have paper and pencils. Email? Ha! I wouldn't mind seeing that go; snailmail is just fine. Sorry EK, I'm not easily quieted by your argument. :mrgrn: On the other hand, I just tend the bar, so it doesn't really matter. Buck would probably agree with you, especially considering that he makes a living off those awful machines.

 

[sechs]

If there were any games for the IBM Selectric, I might consider it.

 

[EdwardK]

Indeed Bartender I do not expect you to be quieted :wink: In many ways, I agree with you - we are just too reliant on computers. To show my age, I did all my maths on paper (multiplication, long division, addition/subtraction tables on paper) in primary and high school. I can do away with computers but the hardest thing to adjust to will be without emails

Cheers,
Edward

 

[timwhit]

Indeed Bartender I do not expect you to be quieted :wink: In many ways, I agree with you - we are just too reliant on computers. To show my age, I did all my maths on paper (multiplication, long division, addition/subtraction tables on paper) in primary and high school. I can do away with computers but the hardest thing to adjust to will be without emails

Cheers,
Edward

Harder still for me would to be to do away with Instant Messenging, which has replaced e-mail for any short messages.

 

[e_dawg]

Argghh! Instant messaging, the bane of modern society! Seriously, I haven't used IM since about 2000, when the novelty wore off ICQ. I found it rather annoying having people harrass you online when you were trying to do work... but then why don't you just put it on invisible mode, you ask? what's the point of having IM, then? you essentially turned your IM into e-mail. And with e-mail, you have a record of things, in addition to integrated contact management and scheduling functionality.

 

[Pradeep]

Well you can always turn logging on if you want a record of what is said. For a short conversation, IM is more efficient than email.

 

[timwhit]

IM is perfect for short conversations as Pradeep said, also if the person is there you get an answer immediately. Much easier than calling that person up. I just use an away message if I don't want to talk to people.

 

[Mercutio]

I've never used what you guys are calling IM software. Mostly because all existing IM clients are nonstandard. IMO, the commercialization of the internet has killed standardization, and now we have AOL, Yahoo and MSN engaged in a corporate dick-measuring contest over whose "passes through port 80 on our servers" IM client should be the one everyone else interoperates with.

There are two standard IM programs, ytalk and ntalk. Unfortunately, both are ancient UNIXy things that would be unacceptable for everyone. It's too bad, really. IM probably would be a neat tool for some things, but I'm not about to load 5 different space-hogging bloatfests on my PCs just so I can talk to the one person I know who uses any given service.

I personally believe that quicky notes in IM software are leading to shortcuts in spelling and grammar that are several steps below acceptable.

Oh. And I resent the immediacy of IM. Email is there for "when I get around to it". IM is "talk to me now please, I want attention", which is something that makes me really hate phones, too.

Also, I've never used a typewriter. But I have loaded programs via punchcards.

And Howell, Purdue's UNIX systems all had these marvelous tutorial programs accessible through the "learn" command. The were written in 90 and 91, so they were probably around when you were there. I recall the one for vi as being about 2 hours long, and covering advanced details like regular expressions, for someone patient enough to sit through the whole thing.

 

[sechs]

Unix Zephyr. That's the original instant messaging system.

 

[timwhit]

I only have one piece of instant messaging software loaded on my computer and that is AIM. I know people that use ICQ, MSNMISM (or whatever it is), and Yahoo, but 99% of the people that I talk to on IM all use AIM, which makes it a pretty useful tool. Especially when I don't want to call someone and I don't know their e-mail address it is loads easier to just type them a message. I don't think IM degrades typing for me, I still type words correctly and spell things the right way. Sometimes I don't include all the punctuation that I should, but I still know that it should be there. When I was a freshman in college living in the dorms IM was the de facto standard for talking to people.

 

[ddrueding]

I'm suprised that no one has mentioned trillian as the IM client of choice. At least it was when I was doing that kind of social thing...now I don't want the girls to communicate with each other


l8r........(j/k)

 

[Handruin]

I still use trillian. I don't chat on it very often; I leave it on mostly as an answering machine.

 

[SteveC]

I heard this on the radio this morning:

"A Manhattan lawyer whose catastrophically botched suicide-by-stove attempt blew up three floors of Stuyvesant Town told a judge yesterday he had no idea gas could explode.

Full Article.

 

[jtr1962]

I'd like to say that's incredible that someone with as much formal education as a lawyer could not know a fact even most third-graders know, but the (albeit limited) contact I've had with people in the legal system leads me to believe this guy's story. Lawyers easily take the prize in the "how to go to school for two decades but really know nothing useful" department. Not all lawyers, but most.