Been quite a bit depressed these past couple weeks. I took my cat to the vet and discovered she has a tumor growing under her tongue. Very likely oral squamous cell carcinoma and there's no meaningful treatment that helps and they all offer terrible quality of life. She's mostly ok for now but I can tell she's slowing down and not her normal self. My heart is feeling broken.
Something Random
- Thread starter ddrueding
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jtr1962
Storage? I am Storage!
I'm sorry to hear this as well. I know the feeling very well. Just make her as comfortable as possible and enjoy whatever time is left.
Mercutio
Fatwah on Western Digital
I lost a cat to breast cancer at the beginning of 2024 and a kitten to brain cancer in 2020. The kitten absolutely killed me, because I spent so much money and went through so many different diagnoses that offered varying levels of hope for improvement. He literally passed while he was on the vet's table to be put down, and the only reason I ever found out what happened is that my vet has been a family friend for decades and was bothered enough by it to do an autopsy.
The comforting thought I always have is that our pets have far better lives in our care than they would've had. Most of my cats have lived into their late teen years. They've been warm and known no need unfulfilled. They're the lucky few compared to ferals and strays. A cat who knows what brushes are and can openers sound like is probably a very fortunate pet indeed.
The comforting thought I always have is that our pets have far better lives in our care than they would've had. Most of my cats have lived into their late teen years. They've been warm and known no need unfulfilled. They're the lucky few compared to ferals and strays. A cat who knows what brushes are and can openers sound like is probably a very fortunate pet indeed.
sedrosken
Florida Man
Things like this are another reason why I just... couldn't.
Gödel
Storage is nice, especially if it doesn't rotate
I hear you, Florida Man. My wife and I met over an abandoned kitten in a Berkeley dorm basement in the '70s, and we had 
s throughout our various stages of marriage. But when we lost the last of them a few years ago, we decided we wouldn't get any more cats, because we're now in our 70's, and we wouldn't want to worry about who would care for them if we became infirm or something.
Pets are an amply-rewarded investment, but they require significant care and planning, daily and sporadically (such as travel).
Peripherally, my wife and I both had and loved dogs when we were kids, but we've only had cats ourselves. OTOH, our two daughters got dogs, so I joke that it "skips a generation". But I like to say that I love dogs . . . other peoples' dogs.
Pet's "personalities" can be so fun; in general, dogs have "unconditional love", while cats' are a bit more conditional, so more prized.
s throughout our various stages of marriage. But when we lost the last of them a few years ago, we decided we wouldn't get any more cats, because we're now in our 70's, and we wouldn't want to worry about who would care for them if we became infirm or something.Pets are an amply-rewarded investment, but they require significant care and planning, daily and sporadically (such as travel).
Peripherally, my wife and I both had and loved dogs when we were kids, but we've only had cats ourselves. OTOH, our two daughters got dogs, so I joke that it "skips a generation". But I like to say that I love dogs . . . other peoples' dogs.
Pet's "personalities" can be so fun; in general, dogs have "unconditional love", while cats' are a bit more conditional, so more prized.
mubs
Storage? I am Storage!
So sorry to hear, Handy. I wish your cat the best. Having had cats ourselves and having lost them, I feel the pain.
We miss them terribly, but we couldn't travel much when we had them. So despite yearning for them, we have steeled ourselves to not adopt. Co-incidentally, we've been traveling a lot the last few years.
What Merc said is so true. Cats fending for themselves don't last long, sadly.
We miss them terribly, but we couldn't travel much when we had them. So despite yearning for them, we have steeled ourselves to not adopt. Co-incidentally, we've been traveling a lot the last few years.
What Merc said is so true. Cats fending for themselves don't last long, sadly.
Mercutio
Fatwah on Western Digital
There's a stray I've been feeding for the last few years. She's had a litter of kittens every June like clockwork. She kind of nests with her babies under a car that only moves a few times a year; the guy who owns it can't drive it any more, but his son uses it maybe the second week in August and every year like clockwork, moving that car kills a half-dozen kittens who had no idea their shelter could do that. We've tried to make mama kitty a better place to be, but so far this cat has not figured out the pattern. Mama kitty is more and more ragged. I think she's four or five now, but she has a chunk missing out of her ear now and she walks with a permanent limp. There's no chance that she doesn't have every communicable disease known to cats. While she's willing to ask for food, she doesn't want to be an indoor girl, so leaving out a can of wet stuff every so often is about the best I can do for her.
I just found out that there's a national shortage of a common, generic medication I take every day. I ordered a refill on my Rx the second week in October and because of tarriff or logistics-related BS I can either wait until the third week in December to get it, pay a compounding pharmacy to have it made for me or hope an overseas supplier can ship it directly. My current supply runs out in two days.
I just found out that there's a national shortage of a common, generic medication I take every day. I ordered a refill on my Rx the second week in October and because of tarriff or logistics-related BS I can either wait until the third week in December to get it, pay a compounding pharmacy to have it made for me or hope an overseas supplier can ship it directly. My current supply runs out in two days.
jtr1962
Storage? I am Storage!
A heated cat shelter might help if she can be convinced to have her kittens there instead of under the car. My brother has fed strays for years. Same story. They look more and more ragged after a few years, and eventually stop coming around altogether. Any cat which sleeps on a warm bed with a human is very lucky indeed.
jtr1962
Storage? I am Storage!
I hope this isn't a medication which you need to stay alive.
Mercutio
Fatwah on Western Digital
Just blood pressure management. Both my parents needed blood pressure medication by my age so it's not surprising that I do too.
I'm still having a hard time with the idea that a common medication would be in short supply nationally, but I did finally get some overnighted to me.
I'm still having a hard time with the idea that a common medication would be in short supply nationally, but I did finally get some overnighted to me.
sedrosken
Florida Man
Hm. I'm on blood pressure medicine but I'm not in the best shape health-wise and my dad was on it by my age too. Mine's still a fairly low dose -- I didn't notice any issues getting mine, the pharmacy even got me a 90-day supply. It's nothing I'll die immediately without, but that doesn't mean it'd be a good thing to be without it, either.
I was on several different BP meds to try. There's a bunch of different ones so the one Merc couldn't source might be a different type compared to yours. I was able to get off mine after a couple years. Weight loss helped a ton there.
mubs
Storage? I am Storage!
There's a gazillion different meds for BP; what suits one person won't suit another, that's why.
Weight loss helps in numerous ways, but is so hard to achieve.
Weight loss helps in numerous ways, but is so hard to achieve.
Mercutio
Fatwah on Western Digital
I have the additional aggravation that my health care is non-traditional, so my meds are at least partially selected for what can be obtained for cheap.
Mercutio
Fatwah on Western Digital
This is the first year my partner is coming to Thanksgiving. We did not talk about her doing this and I just found out maybe 10 minutes ago. She's going to meet my family, who will no doubt have many opinions about her tattoos and piercings and many questions about her ovulation cycle.
I am wondering if I should just start drinking now or if I wait until after my mother makes exactly the least appropriate comment in the history of human consciousness. That this comment will be made is a matter of mathematical certainty. My mother will not understand that she said anything wrong and, five minutes after whatever she says, will deny that she did so.
I am wondering if I should just start drinking now or if I wait until after my mother makes exactly the least appropriate comment in the history of human consciousness. That this comment will be made is a matter of mathematical certainty. My mother will not understand that she said anything wrong and, five minutes after whatever she says, will deny that she did so.
ddrueding
Fixture
We'll be following our Danish tradition of going to an Irish pub in Åarhus that serves a more than passable Thanksgiving spread. Not as good as our previous tradition done by our Stanford physicist immigrant friends, but it does the job.
sedrosken
Florida Man
Mine's looking like half of it's gonna be consumed with getting a cousin off my wireless plan so I can change carriers and save everyone involved some money. I had her on my plan to begin with because she couldn't afford to replace her phone and it'd cost her twice as much to go to a big carrier to finance one herself as opposed to just getting shoved under my plan. Now the phone's paid off and she'd like to be on a cheaper plan, which is fair enough, because I'm looking to do the same thing.
I've settled in on Visible for myself and my sister because the pricing is attractive, the caveats seem reasonable, and it uses Verizon towers, so I should have signal even in the middle of nowhere like where Dad lives. I managed to get ahold of an ex-Verizon phone for her since Androids still do those funky carrier-specific model shenanigans and her S22 is a TMB model that won't have the VZW bands. With their current promotion, my plan is $19/mo for 26 months, hers is $25/mo for 26 months. I got her the plus plan because that isn't throttled as much and I'm accounting for her having worse internet where she's at.
This corresponds with us changing carriers at the office for work phones from VZW to ATT because the business billing experience was simply awful and our reps were unresponsive. Seems like most companies have issues with this these days, so I don't know what changing to a company with demonstrably worse service will offer, but it wasn't my call.
I've settled in on Visible for myself and my sister because the pricing is attractive, the caveats seem reasonable, and it uses Verizon towers, so I should have signal even in the middle of nowhere like where Dad lives. I managed to get ahold of an ex-Verizon phone for her since Androids still do those funky carrier-specific model shenanigans and her S22 is a TMB model that won't have the VZW bands. With their current promotion, my plan is $19/mo for 26 months, hers is $25/mo for 26 months. I got her the plus plan because that isn't throttled as much and I'm accounting for her having worse internet where she's at.
This corresponds with us changing carriers at the office for work phones from VZW to ATT because the business billing experience was simply awful and our reps were unresponsive. Seems like most companies have issues with this these days, so I don't know what changing to a company with demonstrably worse service will offer, but it wasn't my call.
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I'm exploring older recipes for cocktails that I've never tried! I hadn't heard it was a weird craze though. I'm enjoying them more than beer lately.Or support your local brewery. They seem to have started falling on hard times, because the weird cocktail craze is taking over.
Mercutio
Fatwah on Western Digital
I don't drink and I'm about to start.
Sed, something I've found to watch out for is that some MVNOs don't support RCS chat yet. STILL. Also I am almost positive there are degrees of deprioritization, based on some experiments I've done between Tmo, Mint and US Mobile and a (gross!) iphone 13. US Mobile definitely dropped most of the three even though I was using the same phone and calling from the same spot.
Sed, something I've found to watch out for is that some MVNOs don't support RCS chat yet. STILL. Also I am almost positive there are degrees of deprioritization, based on some experiments I've done between Tmo, Mint and US Mobile and a (gross!) iphone 13. US Mobile definitely dropped most of the three even though I was using the same phone and calling from the same spot.
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jtr1962
Storage? I am Storage!
Me and my sister are also both on Verizon Visible. Only $25 a month, and I'm getting a $15 credit on my cable/Internet bill, so it's really only costing me $10 a month.
Gödel
Storage is nice, especially if it doesn't rotate
Happy Festivus, all!
Speaking of random, here's a new cocktail recipe: mix 4 random liquids together, and name it with 3 random words.
Or support your local brewery. They seem to have started falling on hard times, because the weird cocktail craze is taking over.
Speaking of random, here's a new cocktail recipe: mix 4 random liquids together, and name it with 3 random words.
sedrosken
Florida Man
Spoiled milk, Lysol, black coffee, and power steering fluid (specifically the import formula). Call it the Domineering Horse Annihilator.
Mercutio
Fatwah on Western Digital
re: Phone plans. I switched to US Mobile this morning. They're offering a year of service for $167 until the end of the day today (10PM EST). They're primarily a Tmo MVNO, so the only major issue I can see from switching is that my data service might be deprioritized in an emergency. Interestingly, they DO offer service on all three US Providers and in fact you can even pay an extra fee to get a second eSim for connection to a second network. Neat.
re: Thanksgiving. Well, now my partner knows why I am like this.
Among the highlights were my mother being deeply concerned about us having children while also objecting to us to sleeping in the same bed
AND also being completely insensitive to my partner's upbringing (her own mother gave up parental rights at birth and she knows nothing about that side of her family) AND how my partner's tattoos make her so hideous she's lucky to have anyone at all, let alone me. My dad just turns his hearing aids off for a lot of that kind of crap and I have to say I wish I could've done the same thing.
re: Thanksgiving. Well, now my partner knows why I am like this.
Among the highlights were my mother being deeply concerned about us having children while also objecting to us to sleeping in the same bed
AND also being completely insensitive to my partner's upbringing (her own mother gave up parental rights at birth and she knows nothing about that side of her family) AND how my partner's tattoos make her so hideous she's lucky to have anyone at all, let alone me. My dad just turns his hearing aids off for a lot of that kind of crap and I have to say I wish I could've done the same thing.
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sedrosken
Florida Man
Got everyone kicked over through the weekend. I won't even get a final bill, I'm all paid up.
I don't think I'd be coming back to holidays at all if my folks were like that. We very carefully tiptoed around the subject of politics, but that was a conscious effort from all parties because no one really felt like arguing.
I don't think I'd be coming back to holidays at all if my folks were like that. We very carefully tiptoed around the subject of politics, but that was a conscious effort from all parties because no one really felt like arguing.
Mercutio
Fatwah on Western Digital
Yes. Tattoos are hideous. A direct quote that was in fact repeated multiple times. That one I'd at least prepared my partner for, so it mostly just turned in to eye rolling.
My mom grew up in a house where time stopped in about 1960 and she just kind of doesn't understand the world outside the shelter of that. Like she can't wrap her head around adults having to work past about 6PM, that health care costs money or that it's at least low-key racist to begin every description of any person of non-European lineage by their skin color. She's well meaning and kind in a lot of ways but holy crap does she live in the Wealthy Boomer Bubble.
Thanksgiving is The Gathering Holiday for my family. My parents host the dinner for surviving aunts and uncles and sometimes some of my cousins. I'm the youngest member of my generation. No one in my generation had a kid and I'm technically the last one who could make a baby that could carry on the family name (I do have an older brother. It is universally and unambiguously understood that no one wants him to be a parent). Anyway, I do a lot of the prep work, cooking and cleanup since my folks have gotten older; it's three very busy days for me. I'm there to make sure the tradition of the gathering keeps going, because it is the one time that the whole family still does come together. I don't think there will be many more years of it. Some of my aunts are in their late 80s.
That's a tough one to reconcile in weighing the benefits of a continued unpleasant gathering knowing any one of them could be the last vs having a smaller and plausibly more enjoyable gathering alone with your partner.
As I've gotten older the amount of fucks I give for that kind of behavior has fallen off a cliff. I'd have a difficult time not speaking my mind and also communicating that kind of behavior would turn me away from future visits.
My dad moved to Missouri back in 2020 (during peak COVID no less) and since my mom passed back in 2013, I really only have my sister near the area for immediate family. She's still about 75 miles away, but this year she traveled to her husband's family out of state so I didn't see her.
That was all fine because with my cat being ill and not knowing what her healthcare and timeline is like, I had a nice quiet week off to spend with her doing nothing much. I spent whatever nicer days out on my deck with her so she could have some outdoor time.
As I've gotten older the amount of fucks I give for that kind of behavior has fallen off a cliff. I'd have a difficult time not speaking my mind and also communicating that kind of behavior would turn me away from future visits.
My dad moved to Missouri back in 2020 (during peak COVID no less) and since my mom passed back in 2013, I really only have my sister near the area for immediate family. She's still about 75 miles away, but this year she traveled to her husband's family out of state so I didn't see her.
That was all fine because with my cat being ill and not knowing what her healthcare and timeline is like, I had a nice quiet week off to spend with her doing nothing much. I spent whatever nicer days out on my deck with her so she could have some outdoor time.
jtr1962
Storage? I am Storage!
Wow! I'm technically a Boomer, although from the tail end and I hate that kind of thinking. I give you and your partner credit for getting through the day without killing your mother. I can't say I would have had the same level of self-control.
I'll admit I'm no fan of tattoos but my attitude is if a person likes them, it's no skin off my back (no pun intended). I just won't personally get one myself.
As for children, even if you wanted one, which I know you don't, you'll be pushing 70 when the kid graduates college. That's kind of ridiculous. Besides, your reaction to having the baby living in your place for a while is exactly the same as mine would have been. I would have felt like throwing the kid out the window. I give you credit for getting through it.
There are only a few people from that generation left in my family. Soon my older cousins will be the old timers in the family, and me and my siblings will be next after that.
Mercutio
Fatwah on Western Digital
I never thought I'd get one either. Instead I have a few now. They're small, personal and in places where only one person might see them. Each one relates to someone special in my life. A couple of my close friends and my partner likewise have tattoos to represent me. I feel like it's an acceptable tribute to carry something on my body for them.
My partner is about 40% covered. She's had some issues with self-harm when she was younger and has said that part of her original reason for getting tattoos was to keep herself from cutting and potentially ruining the art on those parts of her body. That's not something she should have to explain or justify.
ddrueding
Fixture
When the last of my grandparents generation died we stopped doing family thanksgiving. My parents, sister, and her children get together, but they live within a mile of each other.
When we still lived in the US, a friend who lived just outside Stanford would host thanksgiving for those without other commitments. The atmosphere and food was amazing, and possibly the thing I miss most about the US.
When we still lived in the US, a friend who lived just outside Stanford would host thanksgiving for those without other commitments. The atmosphere and food was amazing, and possibly the thing I miss most about the US.
sedrosken
Florida Man
I would be the oldest of my generation in this branch of the family if it weren't for the cousins who were brought in by my uncle remarrying... I'm actually grateful -- it keeps the heat off me for making another generation, which frankly, I've further and further soured on as years pass.
I enjoy being around children in small bursts -- usually I'm pressed into corralling them -- but my patience can't handle it long-term, I feel antsy after just a couple hours. And I doubt I'll ever be in the kind of financial shape to be confident in being able to provide for much more than myself, let alone children -- thus far, getting ahead on bills is my big victory, I have no plans for retirement and nothing to save. Plus it kind of requires a partner -- which, well, given how the last time went, I'm not in any hurry to try that again, in fact I think I'm better off without.
As far as tattoos, I have no real opinion. I kinda wanted one a while back -- something specific to me -- but they're expensive and I'm an absolute baby when it comes to pain, so I don't see the need for it for me personally, but y'all do you.
I enjoy being around children in small bursts -- usually I'm pressed into corralling them -- but my patience can't handle it long-term, I feel antsy after just a couple hours. And I doubt I'll ever be in the kind of financial shape to be confident in being able to provide for much more than myself, let alone children -- thus far, getting ahead on bills is my big victory, I have no plans for retirement and nothing to save. Plus it kind of requires a partner -- which, well, given how the last time went, I'm not in any hurry to try that again, in fact I think I'm better off without.
As far as tattoos, I have no real opinion. I kinda wanted one a while back -- something specific to me -- but they're expensive and I'm an absolute baby when it comes to pain, so I don't see the need for it for me personally, but y'all do you.