Bleagh

[Tannin]

"Red Hill, god morning, this is Tony"

"Oh ... yeah. (long pause) Listen, I got my computer fixed up there last week and it doesn't work."

"Oh? What is the problem, Sir?"

"Well, there is no sound. Doesn't make any noises."

"OK. Hmmm (Thinks: I remember this one. It came in because it had "some files missing" and it turned out to have a massive spyware infection and a whole lot of crap installed - like 5-10 minutes to boot Win2K. The Soup Nazi, while he was doing that stuff, also fixed up the sound because the drivers were not installed and the CD drive because it was plugged in backwards. Sound ought to be fine.) .... Do you have the speakers plugged in, sir, and switched on?"

"Speakers? I haven't got any speakers. What do I need speakers for?"

Bleaagh.

Why does this always happen to me on Mondays?

 

[i]

Priceless.

But you still have my sympathy. :-?

 

[CougTek]

Do you often answer "god morning"? IMO this is very disrespectful toward your atheist customers. Evil owl.

And the Spelchek feature is f**ked up for me.

 

[LiamC]

Tony,

are you sure that somone wasn't reading this:

http://www.rinkworks.com/stupid/cs_piecing.shtml

and decided to pull your leg?

:lol: :eekers:

 

[Tannin]

Nope. This one was fair dinkum, Bill. He came in later on and bought a pair of second-hand speakers. I showed him how to plug them into the system and how to plug them into the 240V power and how to press the power button and how to turn the volume up and down. Carefully. Leaving no detail uncovered.

 

[LiamC]

reads Tony's reply.

:shudders:

 

[time]

Priceless. Especially the bit about the CD-ROM drive. :wink:

 

[Mercutio]

Ages and ages ago, I used to have people complain to me because they had to buy displays for their PCs, because their friends had Commodores or Ataris that could be hooked up to a TV...

And how broke do you have to be that you would want used speakers?

 

[Adcadet]

I just found a near-required reference resource for SF. I was pretty sure what "fair dinkum" meant, but you never know with you dinki-di's (hope I didn't just misuse that and offend anybody)

 

[Mercutio]

I am particularly amused that Aussies refer to the residents of Victoria as "Mexicans". I had to laugh when I saw that one.

 

[ddrueding]

I just found a near-required reference resource for SF. I was pretty sure what "fair dinkum" meant, but you never know with you dinki-di's (hope I didn't just misuse that and offend anybody)

"This computer is cactus!"

???

 

[sechs]

I just found a near-required reference resource for SF. I was pretty sure what "fair dinkum" meant, but you never know

I use "fair dinkum" from time to time, and definitely do not speak Australian (I'm sure that our Australian friends will agree). It's a plain English phrase that folks in the United States may have heard in old Western films.

The reference is, nonetheless, entertaining.

 

[CougTek]

I am particularly amused that Aussies refer to the residents of Victoria as "Mexicans". I had to laugh when I saw that one.

So now we have the complete duo : hairy Aussie and the Mexican owl.

 

[Pradeep]

"This computer is cactus!"

???

http://swordfish.dnsvelocity.com/~handruin/forum/viewtopic.php?p=66871

Used in context, 5th post down

 

[Adcadet]

nice fine, Pradeep!

 

[time]

I was pretty sure what "fair dinkum" meant, but you never know with you dinki-di's

AFAIK, "dinki-di" is an adjective rather than a noun. So you should say that someone "is a dinki-di Australian" or that they "are dinki-di".

I always thought the "cactus" reference was in fact "cactused", which I think helps one visualize the intent.

Surpisingly, I've never heard the term "Mexican". The word "Victorian" is considered derogatory in its own right, sometimes used with the universal adjective: "bloody Victorians".

 

[LiamC]

I read half of that list but I would take exception to the term "goon"

The wiki list described it as ..."cheap cask wine, also can mean the bag containing the wine also know as a goon bag."...

In my day (80's), a "goon" was the 2 litre glass flagon, a cask was a cask. But language is an evolving thing...

 

[Sol]

Yeah Mexican for Victorian isn't something I've heared... But then perhaps they just don't say it to our faces...
Generally though I hear Victorian used more as a compliment, as in "He's so good he could be a Victorian".

 

[Tannin]

Wikipedia is wrong: in Victoria, the common beer glass sizes are 7 ("glass") and 10oz ("pot"). Scooners are becoming more common - the NSW influence - but still unusual.

"Mexican" is deeply offensive, regardless of which state one lives in. This is not the US of f--ing A.

 

[CougTek]

This is not the US of f--ing A.

Hey, cool down Chicano.

 

[Sol]

It looks like your complaints have been addressed Tony, but the glasses are still wrong. I'm not sure about the rest of the country but in Victoria I'm pretty sure anything smaller than a pot is generally called a waste of bloody time.