Favorite Quotes

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Here's a classy one:

"I believe the two of you formed a ... twisted love pact ... based on your mutual admiration of ... Satan."
 
sechs said:
There are three kinds of lies: lies, damned lies, and statistics.
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There are four kinds of lies: lies, damned lies, statistics ... and resumes.
 
"Before enlightenment, you clean and carry water. After enlightenment, you clean and carry water".
 

A *very* short list of infamous Keef Richards quotes:


  • "Future? Know something? I never even think about it. Today's what counts."

    "I never had a problem with drugs, only with cops."

    "I'd hate to have to go around thinking of health and shit like that."

    "There's only one fatal disease, I've concluded. It's called hypchondria. And it is deadly."

    "Nobody ever wondered why the blues men were on stage until their old age: Muddy, Howlin' Wolf, Duke Ellington, Count Basie, and so on. It's the same with us: Why does a dog lick his balls? Because he can! We play because we can. We do what we have to."

    "My epitaph will be: Fuckers! I told you I wasn't feeling well"

    (...about his unique Open G Tuning, invented by Keef after he broke a high E-string...) "5 strings, 2 fingers, one asshole."

    "My one worry is falling over on stage. This may sound absurd, but I actually slipped on a hamburger in Hamburg once, and almost fell off stage."

    "I would rather be a legend than a dead legend."

    "Art is the last thing I'm worried about when I'm writing a song. As far as I'm concerned, art is just short for Arthur."

     (...when asked by a reporter, "Why is the new album titled Some Girls?"...) "Because we couldn't remember any of their fucking names."

    "Mick sits at the synthesizer with headphones on, which I consider a prison. This is like, 'Are you wearing those things because you don't want to be interfered with? Or are you just jerking off?' See, the synthesizer worries me."

    "There's no reason for my guitar being called Micawber, apart from the fact that it's such an unlikely name. There's no one around me called Micawber, so when I scream for Micawber everyone knows what I'm talking about."

    "Being famous is ok, but in the courtroom it only works against you."
 
It wasn't called Heavy Metal when I invented it - Dave Davis of The Kinks

I really think something's wrong with me - Ray Davis of The Kinks

My bullshit's worth more than other's diamonds - Lou Reed

Definitely there is something good in Tubular Bells, but I can't point out at it exactly - Mike Oldfield

I am very nice to people. I mean, I have my bad side, but I don't think I'm really nasty. I think there are a lot of people who think that maybe I am really. Fuck them - Deborah Harry of Blondie

My Teeth-I don't like how they stand out. I always think of arranging them but I don't have time. Besides, I'm perfect - Freddie Mercury of Queen

I don't think Patti Smith can walk on water, but I would like to see her trying - Dave Marsh
 
Former Washington, D.C. mayor Marion Berry:

  • "The contagious people of Washington have stood firm against diversity during this long period of increment weather."

    "I promise you a police car on every sidewalk."

    "If you take out the killings, Washington actually has a very very low crime rate."

    "First, it was not a strip bar, it was an erotic club. And second, what can I say? I'm a night owl."

    "Bitch set me up."

    "I am clearly more popular than Reagan. I am in my third term. Where's Reagan? Gone after two! Defeated by George Bush and Michael Dukakis no less."

    "The laws in this city are clearly racist. All laws are racist. The law of gravity is racist."

    "I am making this trip to Africa because Washington is an international city, just like Tokyo, Nigeria or Israel. As mayor, I am an international symbol. Can you deny that to Africa?"

    "People have criticized me because my security detail is larger than the president's. But you must ask yourself: are there more people who want to kill me than who want to kill the president? I can assure you there are."

    "The brave men who died in Vietnam, more than 100% of which were Black, were the ultimate sacrifice."

    "I read a funny story about how the Republicans freed the slaves. The Republicans are the ones who created slavery by law in the 1600s. Abraham Lincoln freed the slaves and he was not a Republican."

    "What right does Congress have to go around making laws just because they deem it necessary?"

    "People blame me because these water mains break, but I ask you, if the water mains didn't break, would it be my responsibility to fix them then? WOULD IT!?!"

    "I am a great mayor; I am an upstanding Christian man; I am an intelligent man; I am a deeply educated man; I am a humble man."
 
"Hey everybody! Watch this!" -- Death Cry of the Wild Hillbilly, Walmartis customeris

Someone needs to write a thank-you letter for all the Darwin-award winners who have met their fate on Yamaha small-engine products.
 
Do Simpsons quotes count as quotes?

The elephant makes grunting noises and a ferocious face.

Marge: Homer...it looks like it could gore.
Homer: Heh heh...it _does_ look like Al Gore.
 
"We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable rights, that among these are life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness. That to secure these rights, governments are instituted among men, deriving their just powers from the consent of the governed."
 
"You can't take something off the Internet -- that's like trying to take pee out of a swimming pool.", Joe Garelli, NewsRadio
 
Here are my favorite quotes :

NASDAQ

AMD
INTC
MXO
WDC
NT
NVDA
ATYT

Toronto Stock Exchange

ATY
NT
BBD.B
EXF
RIM
others I won't disclose...
 
Here's a couple more:
"Prevent Inbreeding: Ban Country Music"

and,

"Asalaam malekum", which translates to "peace be with you" from Arabic, and is IMO a perfectly wonderful sentiment. A lot of people where I live are literally shocked that I would say such a thing - I guess it sounds like I'm a muslim - but at the same time, I hear "God Bless You" almost constantly in daily conversation.

Another wonderful sentiment, something I can really get behind, are the Beatitudes:

The Gospel According to Mark said:
Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.
Blessed are they that mourn; for they shall be comforted.
Blessed are the meek, for they shall inherit the earth.
Blessed are they which do hunger and thirst after righteousness, for they shall be filled.
Blessed are the merciful; for they shall obtain mercy.
Blessed are the pure in heart; for they shall see God.
Blessed are the peacemakers: for they will be called the children of God.
Blessed are they which are persecuted for righteousness' sake: for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.
Blessed are ye when men shall revile you, and persecute you and shall say all manner of evil against you falsely, for my sake.
Click to expand...

Those are deeply comforting words, even for someone who does not believe.

Lastly, as long as we're talking about bumper stickers, there's a site with some really interesting stuff at UnAmerican.com.
 
"Hawaii has always been a very pivotal role in the Pacific. It is in the
Pacific. It is a part of the United States that is an island that is right
here."
--Dan Quayle during a visit to Hawaii in 1989
 
My current favorite...

demotivators_1771_3570781
 
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