Favorite Quotes

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Je parle espagnol à Dieu, italien aux femmes, français aux hommes et allemand à mon cheval.
- Emperor Charles V
 
Dear Mister Language Person: I am curious about the expression, "Part of
this complete breakfast". The way it comes up is, my 5-year-old will be
watching TV cartoon shows in the morning, and they'll show a commercial
for a children's compressed breakfast compound such as "Froot Loops" or
"Lucky Charms", and they always show it sitting on a table next to some
actual food such as eggs, and the announcer always says: "Part of this
complete breakfast". Don't that really mean, "Adjacent to this complete
breakfast", or "On the same table as this complete breakfast"? And
couldn't they make essentially the same claim if, instead of Froot Loops,
they put a can of shaving cream there, or a dead bat?

Answer: Yes.
-- Dave Barry, "Tips for Writer's"
 
L'amour, tel qu'il existe dans la société, n'est que l'échange de deux fantaisies et le contact de deux épidermes.
- Nicolas-Sébastien Chamfort
 
Colourless green ideas sleep furiously.
- Professor Noam Chompsky as an example of a gramatically correct sentence that makes no sense
 
I think that I shall never see
A billboard lovely as a tree
Indeed, unless the billboards fall
I'll never see a tree at all.
- Ogden Nash
 
We can't have sechs posting all the quotes. :D

Men stumble over the truth from time to time, but most pick themselves up and hurry off as if nothing happened - Winston Churchill
 
I do not know whether I was then a man dreaming I was a butterfly or whether I am now a butterfly dreaming I am a man.
- Chuang Tse
 
Expecting the world to treat you fairly because you are good is like expecting the bull not to charge because you are a vegetarian. -Anon
 
Judging by those who talk about it all the time, virtue seems to consist
of three elements: (1) walking around like you have a broom up your ass,
(2) feeling smug about the broom up your ass and (3) thinking the world
would be a perfect place if only we could get rid of people who use phrases
like "broom up your ass.

--Matt Groening, as quoted in George Magazine
 
When angry count a hundred; when very angry swear.
- Mark Twain, from Pudd'nhead Wilson's Calendar, March
 
"See, in my line of work you got to keep repeating things over and over and over again for the truth to sink in, to kind of catapult the propaganda."

— George W. Bush, in Greece, N.Y., May 24, 2005
 
Lady in stall #1: So, you want to look for that book you wanted?
Lady in stall #2: We are in the bathroom!
Lady in stall #1: It's a bookstore bathroom.
Saleslady in stall #3: Which book are you looking for?
Lady in stall #2: The one by Tupac Shakur.
Saleslady in stall #3: We have it in the Media isle.

-- at the Barnes & Noble on 22nd & 6th, New York
 
And so president Bush came marching in to the room, got right in my face, eyeball-to-eyeball, nose-to-nose this close, toe-to-toe and he said, "I'm George Bush, President of the United States, and I understand you have something to say to me privately."

Dolores Kesterson, mother of slain (in Iraq) Chief Warrant Officer Erik Kesterson, describing the beginning of her three-minute meeting with Bush following her only child's death in 2003.
 
"At that time [1909] the chief engineer was almost always the chief test pilot as well. That had the fortunate result of eliminating poor engineering early in aviation."

— Igor Sikorsky
 
When I was in the Army, I worked on CH-47 helicopters. The Tech inspector that signed the aircraft off as flight ready, had to fly on it during it's test flight.
Quality control

Bozo :mrgrn:
 
Sung to the tune of the 1812 Overture (a.k.a. Lone Ranger theme)

I've got a head like a ping-pong ball.
I've got a head like a ping-pong ball.
I've got a head like a ping-pong ball.
Ping!
...like a ping-pong ball!
 
"War does not determine who is right, war determine who is left"

--Source unknown
 
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