Getting In Shape

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Well Buck has been out of commission for a week. Considering how out of shape he is, it is not surprising. His lower back went out, so I am stuck bringing beers to his bed. If only he would do some exercises to strengthen his back and stomach muscles.
 

e_dawg

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Mercutio said:
CougTek said:
According to that paper you linked, one 14-years-old-Howell would have fitted three times, or close to, into one Mercutio.

Iwish I knew what the HELL to do about that fact.

Merc,

[the following may seem a little harsh, condescending, and preachy... i apologize in advance, but sorry... the truth hurts... despite what you might think, i do wish to help, not just criticize]

Let me first start out with a story about my uncle. My uncle went from 270 lbs to 320 a few years ago as he lost his job and fell into a rut. He was diagnosed with gout and osteoarthritis (no doubt exacerbated by the stress the extra weight was putting on his joints). He developed a defeatist attitude much like you have done. Like it or not, the fact that he was ever increasing in weight and hobbling around did not help with the interviews, either. It's not just the discrimination against his physical appearance that cost him a few jobs, it's also his attitude and personality. When you are feeling down and do not have confidence in yourself, interviewers can pick up on that in a heartbeat. But my uncle was getting desperate. Eventually running out of money and respect, he hit rock bottom and decided that he had to make a change.

He changed his eating habits and went from being a couch potato to a fitness freak. When he visited us the following summer, he slimmed down 80 pounds to around 240. He worked out with me and whipped my skinny ass on the treadmill. Do I have to state the obvious and say that a few months and a dozen interviews later, he landed a good job. Was it because he no longer seemed morbidly obese, incapable of carrying his own weight as he hobbled around? Yes, that was part of it. But his attitude changed as well. No longer sullen and morbid at the dinner table, he became much more upbeat, confident, and engaging. I am SURE the interviewers vastly preferred the new attitude; I know I did.

---------

Do you really want to transform your life or are you just content on wallowing in your misery? Because that's what it looks like to me. It's not that "you don't know what the hell to do"... it's more like you're either too lazy or afraid of the commitment required to get out of your rut and change yourself... to break from the easy routine... to exit your comfort zone. You need to exorcise that defeatist attitude that is poisoning your once respectable character.

The Self Improvement Process (A Description)

There are 4 phases in the self-improvement process. You must actually put pen to paper and write down a list of reasons in phases 1 and 2; this process implicitly encourages accountability.

1. Discovery: knowledge of what needs to be changed and why
2. Internalization: internalizing why you need to change
3. Commitment: committing to seeing the change through
4. Delivery: doing what needs to be done

Discovery: Anybody who has read more than a few of your posts can attest to the fact that a lack of knowledge is the least of your problems. For physique transformation, a starting point would be to look at lifestyle, level of activity/exercise, eating habits. Make a list and check it twice.

Internalization: This is something you have to do yourself. We can't tell you "it's for your own good." That's just like your parents telling you to do something; you would probably do the opposite. I'm sure you can think of the benefits of being in shape and the disadvantages of being in your current state... in fact, they probably haunt you if you let yourself think about it, so you naturally shut it out. Don't. Really think about it... visualize your pain in the past, present, and future and think of what could be (without saying "yeah, like that's going to happen) if you successfully change.

Commitment: Again, this is something that you have to start yourself. You have to make effecting this change more important than anything else in your life. You cannot skip workouts. You cannot avoid going to the gym because you're too tired or too afraid of what people might think.
Support networks and friends help with making it easier, though -- having a workout partner can make going to the gym less of a chore; you can motivate each other and not let each other slack off.

Delivery: This is where you have to be a man. A man takes care of business and does the job. No excuses. Excuses are for losers. We all know you know how to deliver. You've done it before thousands of times. Just think about every computer job you take on... you fix the problem or at least fulfill your obligations as a computer service professional every time. Your customers don't want to hear excuses, right? Well this is the same attitude you should have with yourself as your client.

The Self Improvement Process (The Steps)

1. Once you have generated a list of what needs to be changed and why, prioritize them according to importance.

2. For your first week, think of a goal that you would like to accomplish. Goals should be SMART: Specific, Measurable, Attainable, Rewarding, and Timely. For example, "I want to lose 2 pounds this week" -- not "I want to look buff by the end of the summer". Whatever you do, make sure that you do whatever it takes (within reason) to accomplish your goal every week. After a couple weeks, you will know what is realistic and what isn't.

3. For every day of that week, you should also have a daily to-do and a weekly theme that helps you achieve your weekly goal. For example, Monday might be "eat a dozen carrot sticks", Tuesday might be "do 2 x 10 push-ups", Wednesday = "speed-walk for 20 min around the block"; your weekly theme might be "do 3 minutes of exercise every 15 minutes during commercials (get a recumbent stationary bike or treadmill)"

Check each task off as you complete it. Don't let there be any unchecked to-do's by the end of the week. No excuses.
 

e_dawg

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For those of you interested in fitness and bodybuilding, may I suggest visiting some of the relevant sites out there on the net. A good website not only serves as a valuable reference tool for those just starting out in a new area of interest, but its discussion boards provide you with a community of thousands that provides support, advice, and a culture in which you can find motivation and inspiration. Computers and storage are not everything, ya know ;) Check out some of my favourite fitness / bodybuilding sites:

www.exrx.net
www.menshealth.com

www.bodybuilding.com
www.abcbodybuilding.com

FWIW, I have a degree in Physiology (i.e., how the body works) and have taken courses in Exercise Physiology and Nutrition, so feel free to ask me anything.

BTW, CougTek wrote an excellent post for starters. (I disagree about his comment on iron, but we'll save that for another day.) honold and company also make good points.
 

jtr1962

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Excellent post, e_dawg, with plenty of sound advice.

As I'm sure we all know, the first and hardest part of changing an unhealthy habit or lifestyle is to admit you have a problem. Whether the problem is of your own making or not is irrelevant. It exists and must be dealt with somehow. I'm guessing by his posts Mercutio has already done this. I also believe that weight and lack of fitness are not the primary problems here, but rather are symptoms of a larger one-namely deep depression. Again, Mercutio has bravely admitted to this on more than one occasion.

Now comes the really hard part. Getting out of a depression such as Mercutio is in is not easy. It can take a long time. In fact, it can take years. Sometimes, despite the best efforts of friends, medical professionals, and family, it cannot be done at all, as the rather alarming suicide rate in this country attests to. Indeed, the hardest cases are those where the depressed person is highly intelligent, has done a lot of introspection, and frankly sees no possible way out of their dilemma. Sound familiar? While it might be relatively easy to BS an average person into believing that their situation will magically get better, it gets harder as the intelligence level grows. The fact that Mercutio has spent thousands on therapy and gotten nowhere with it attests to this fact. I doubt anyone here would have much different results. The person simply has to see for themselves that something exists in this world to give them hope. Sometimes they will see a person who overcame worse circumstances, sometimes even something like a pet will at least give the person enough of a reason to continue, and as time passes the pain will start to diminish. As I can attest personally, it never really goes away, but it reaches a point where it no longer is the central thing in your life.

Some sort of fitness program represents an excellent way of temporarily distracting oneself, and it has positive side benefits as well. Much better than dealing with your problem by taking drugs or drinking. In the end, however, such a program is merely a tool. More important is to evaluate exactly what kind of a life you want for yourself, and take steps to make it happen. It is important to be realistic here. Wanting a particular type of job or finding another significant other are not realistic goals since they both depend on other people. I will even be so bold as to say that starting another relationship is about the worst possible thing you can do at this point in time. If nothing else, I've learned one very important thing in life, and it's that other people have never failed to disappoint me. While it might be wonderful to find your one true love, that may never happen because such a person may simply not exist in this world, and the quickest path to disaster in relationships is to compromise on what you want and settle for less just because you lack the courage to go it alone. Our culture doesn't help either by making people without a partner feel worthless. What's realistic then? Perhaps start new hobbies doing things you've always wanted to do but never had the time for. Just being out of a relationship and all the commitment that entails means more time. After a time you may find, as I did, that not being in a relationship no longer matters. You may even swear off ever having another one, as I did. In my case it was relatively easy for three reasons: 1)I really have no desire at all to have kids, one of the primary reasons people have relationships and get married 2)A relationship requires a huge commitment of time with quite often few tangible returns, and in many cases mostly aggravation 3)I find extremely few people(try about one in 10,000) of the opposite sex even remotely attractive enough to even want to date(admittedly superficial, but I like what I like and I'm not compromising there) Of course, I haven't closed the door completely, but at this stage it would have to be one very special person to grab my attention for more than a few minutes. Friendships of either sex suit me just fine at this point, but whenever anybody expects anything more, I level with them right away so that they don't think I'm going to "come around" eventually. And anyone that knows me knows better than to try to fix me up with somebody.

In the end, what you do is all up to you and nobody else. You may or may not find somebody again, but you'll know you're better when this isn't the overriding factor in your life.
 

Mercutio

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What I'd really like to do is die.

That's what I'd like to do about it.

I made a promise not to, and I have kept it, but it is a very hard thing for me to do.

You guys can talk about depression in an abstract sense, you can describe change like it's something that just happens. Things do not work that way. I do not work that way.

I'm not going to go into scary details about my mental health. The simple fact is that there may not be physical pain, but my emotional state is literally unbearable, and I have not found any way to insulate myself from it.
 

honold

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e_dawg said:
FWIW, I have a degree in Physiology (i.e., how the body works) and have taken courses in Exercise Physiology and Nutrition, so feel free to ask me anything.
well i think i'll feel free to ask you anything too :)

here's my question: are calories just calories? i've heard that eating a potato vs eating a potato's worth of pure sugar will actually make your insulin work harder because of the carbs, and i've heard about how complex carbs are worse than regular ones. also heard about transfats, and the differences between saturated and unsaturated fats.

my question is this: assume that i'm getting a perfect blend of requirements in terms of vitamins, protein, etc - a book-worthy balanced diet. assume this also happens 'magically'. if 100% of my calories were from fat, how would that change anything? comparing 1500 calories of a perfect diet vs 'automatic perfect diet balance' 1500 calories of pure fat.

i hope that made sense.
 

Howell

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honold, my brother just recently graduated with a degree similar to Exercise Phys if not exactly. He tells me that he waits two hours after eating his meal before he eats desert. IIRC, He says it's because the high sugar level in desert cause the insulin level to skyrocket and then the body is tricked into turning the last meal into mostly fat instead of whatever it usually turns into. Hopefully, e_dawg can elaborate.

e, consider this another time. What's the disagreement of iron? Are there two camps on the issue or is Coug more unique than we ever imagined? :lol:
 

Dozer

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Mercutio said:
I made a promise not to, and I have kept it, but it is a very hard thing for me to do.

And I know I speak for the group in saying that we're glad you have kept this promise.

Mercutio said:
You guys can talk about depression in an abstract sense, you can describe change like it's something that just happens. Things do not work that way. I do not work that way.

Absolutely. Depression is a difficult thing to describe unless you've experienced deep depression. And I don't think anyone can prescribe a sure-fire cure, because there are so many different types of depression and so many various issues that an individual faces. The only thing I can tell you from my experience is that time, support of friends and family, physical exercise, and my faith brought me out of it. However, I had to make a conscious decision to change my attitude towards life. I had to pick myself up and decide to be as upbeat as possible. It wasn't easy, but having the correct attitude makes the difference. Change cannot occur without action.

You are a valuable person, Merc, with much to share with this world. I wish healing for you, so you can move past this experience and start enjoying life again.
 

Mercutio

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I am going to try to explain something. I don't know if it will make sense. Bear with me.

Right now, I do not see any point to doing anything at all. I mean this literally. I have no anchor to this world but a dim hope any sensible person would long have abandoned.
I made a promise to keep going. I also made a promise to love her. I have never broken a promise to her. I cannot break either promise.

I am utterly certain, without those promises, that I would be dead by now. I am serious. I found myself, late one night some months ago, sitting in my bathtub, full of warm water, ready to do something you would all call very stupid, but which is to me the only rational solution to my problem.

I cannot let go. I cannot keep going.

She loved the person I was when I was with her. Someday she might see me that way again. I am deathly afraid that I will change in some way that will make me unappealing to her. I live for that hope.
Unfortunately, I really have no idea what changes might bring me closer to her.

At this point, you are probably asking (if you bothered to read this far) why I don't do the things that might make me happy.

That would make sense, but honestly, for all the introspection in the world, I can't find anything, in or outside myself, that actually does or in point of fact might make me happy. Or even less sad. It's like falling headfirst down a deep hole. You know there's supposed to be light, and it's even close by, but you can't sense it, and there isn't any way to stop yourself or turn to see it.

I'm falling. I'm falling through life and, even though time passes at a crawl, I don't know what to do with any of it. Life or time. Supposedly I have freedom, but I feel completely paralyzed.

I feel paralyzed about everything. The only thing I can do is live from moment to moment. I can't make plans. I can't set goals. Those things are up somewhere with the light, and all the other things I can't sense. I need something to stop, or to give, or to end. I haven't found any of those things inside myself. I need her reassurance and her friendship right now. I found strength with her, because in this way, I am weak.

Maybe this does not make sense to anyone but me. To me, these things seem writ in stone.

Sunday is Amy's birthday, a very special time for me. It's been just about a year since this started, and for the last few weeks my depression has grown greater and greater. I will not be able to see her, to wish her happy birthday, or to say the billion things I want to say. I am incredibly frightened of what the days that follow will hold, because I know that day to day, moment to moment, I have to feel these things, and to feel them alone.
 

mubs

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I read this stuff eons ago in an even older issue of Playboy. I don't know if there'd be a copyright problem; it's at least 23 years old. There was no PC around or copier handy, and I wrote all this down by hand -- a labor of love.

Read it all, or it's no fun. There's a cadence/rythm to it. There's no money or selling involved here, but I felt the message was apt. Here goes:

The Perfect High
Or
The Quest Of Gimmesome Roy
By Shel Silverstein

There once was a guy called Gimmesome Roy,
He was nothing like me or you,
'Cause lying back and getting high
Was all he cared to do.
As a kid, he sat down in his cellar,
Sniffing airplane glue,
And then he smoked bananas-
Which was then the thing to do.
He tried Aspirin and Coca-Cola,
breathed Helium on the sly,
And his life was just one endless
Search to find the perfect high.
But grass just made him want to lay back
And eat chocolate-chip pizza all night,
And the great things he wrote while he was stoned
looked like shit in the morning light.
And speed just made him rap all day,
Reds just laid him back,
And cocaine Rose was sweet to his nose,
But her price nearly broke his back.
He tried PCP and THC
But they didn't quite do the trick,
and poppers nearly blew his heart
and mushrooms made him sick.
Acid made him see the light,
But he never remembered it long,
And hashish was just a little weak,
And smack was a lot too strong.
And Quadides made him stumble,
and booze just made him cry,
Till he heard of a cat named Baba Fats
Who knew of the perfect High.


Now Baba Fats was a hermit cat
Who lived up in Nepal,
High on a craggy mountaintop,
Up on a sheer and icy wall.
"But hell", says Roy, "I'm a healthy boy,
And I'll crawl or climb or fly,
But I'll find that guru who'll give me,
The clue as to what's the Perfect High".
So out and off goes Gimmesome Roy
To find the land that knows no time,
Up a trail no man could conquer
To a cliff no man could climb.
For fourteen years he tries that cliff,
Then back down again he slides,
Then sits and cries-and climbs again,
Pursuing that Perfect High.
He's grinding his teeth, he's coughing blood,
He's aching and shaking and weak,
As starving and sore and bleeding and tore,
He reaches the mountain peak.
And his eyes blink red like the snow blind wolf,
And he snarls the snarls of a rat,
As there in perfect repose and wearing no clothes
Sits the Godlike Baba Fats.

"What's happening, Fats?" says Roy with joy,
"I come to state my biz.
I hear you're hip to the perfect trip
Please tell me what it is.
For as you can see," says Roy to he
"that I'm about to die,
So for my last ride, Fats, how can I
Achieve that perfect high?"
"Well dog my cats," says Baba Fats,
"here's one more burnt-out soul,
Who's looking for some alchemist
to turn his trip to gold.
But you won't find it in no dealer's stash,
or on no druggist's shelf
Son, if you seek the perfect high,
--- find it in yourself".

"Why, you jive m_____f____r," screamed Roy,
"I've climed thru rain and sleet,
I've lost three fingers of my hands
And four toes off my feet.
I've braved the lair of the Polar bear
And tasted the maggots kiss,
Now you tell me the high is in myself,
What kind of shit is this?"
My ears 'afore they froze off," says Roy,
"had heard all kinds of crap,
But I didn't climb for fourteen years
To listen to that sophomore rap.
And I didn't crawl up here to hear
That the high is on the natch,
So you tell me where the real stuff is
Or I'll kill your Guru ass".

"Ok, Ok," says Baba Fats
"You're forcing it out on me,
There is a land beyond the sun,
that's known as Zaboli.
A wretched land of stone and sand
where snakes and buzzards scream.
And in that devils garden grows
The mystic Tzu-Tzu tree.
And every ten years it blooms one flower
As white as the key west sky
And he who eats of that Tzu-Tzu flower
will know the Perfect High.
For the rush comes on like a tidal wave
And it hits like the blazing sun,
And the high, it lasts a lifetime
And the down don't ever come.
But the Zaboli land is ruled by a giant
Who stands twelve cubits high
With eyes of red in his hundred heads
He waits for passers-by.
And you must slay that red-eyed giant
And then swim the river of slime
Where the mucuous beasts, they wait to feast
on those that journey by.
And if you survive the giant and the beasts
and swim the slimy sea
There's a blood-drinking witch who sharpens her teeth
As she guards that Tzu-Tzu tree."

"To hell with your witches and your giants," laughs Roy
"To hell with the beasts of the sea.
As long as the Tzu-Tzu flower blooms
Some hope still blooms for me."
And with tears of joy in his snow-blind eye,
Roy hands the Guru a five,
Then back down the icy mountain crawls,
Pursuing that Perfect High.

"Well, that is that," says Baba Fats,
Sitting back down on his stone
Facing another thousand years
Of talking to God alone.
"It seems, Lord," says Fats, "It's all the same
old men or bright-eyed youth,
It's always easier to sell them some shit
than it is to give them the truth."
 

e_dawg

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honold said:
here's my question: are calories just calories? i've heard that eating a potato vs eating a potato's worth of pure sugar will actually make your insulin work harder because of the carbs, and i've heard about how complex carbs are worse than regular ones.

honold,

Without getting into excessive detail (partly because I have forgotten the finer points), calories are not just calories. This is especially the case with carbs and sugars, as you have pointed out. The most common measurement for a carb's "evilness" is its Glycemic Index (GI), which is measured in Dextrose Equivalents (DE). Glucose (dextrose) is 100; the higher the number, the faster the carb in question will be broken down and absorbed into the bloodstream, raising glucose levels. Generally, sugars have higher GI values than complex carbs like starches, as it simple sugars don't have to be broken down as much as starches before they are transported across the intestinal lumen and into the bloodstream. I'm sure you can find a table somewhere on the Net. Google Glycemic Index for more details.

Howell,

your first question is related to honold's. Again, this is related to the GI. Sugars have a higher GI and therefore trigger greater insulin release. And of course, insulin is bad. Evil stuff, that anabolic hormone. It not only builds muscle, but it is especially good at building fat as well! Bad insulin. Bad doggy. The key is to minimize insulin release as much as possible. I don't know if Dr. Atkins really knew how insulin worked back in the days when he came up with his Zone Diet, but he had the right idea nevertheless (limit carbs, replace with fat = less insulin release).

The important question that should be on your minds is "what factors affect insulin release"?

Glycemic Index: The higher it is, the faster the offending carb will raise blood glucose levels (which is one part of the insulin release equation).

Glycemic Load: GL = GI x grams of carbs. This is actually a more important metric than GI because it takes the amount of carbs you eat into account, not just its potency per 50 grams. So, a bowl of spaghetti will obviously have a much higher GL than a tablespoon of glucose, even though glucose has a higher GI than pasta.

Transit Time: This is how quickly food moves through your digestive system and eventually into your bloodstream. The faster things move through your digestive tract, the faster it will spike blood glucose levels and trigger insulin release.

Another important question that you should ask is "what influences transit time?"

The two F's -- Fats and fiber -- increase slow digestion and increase transit time, thereby blunting the insulin response. This is why a big bowl of salad with celery, carrots, cucumbers, tomatoes, etc. lightly tossed with balsalmic vinaigrette is an excellent appetizer!

Osmolarity: Just like Coug pointed out, the optimal (maximal) absorption rate for sugars is achieved when the sugar solution in question is very dilute. Think watered down pop -- you know, when the cheapskate at the fast food joint packs as much ice as humanly possible into the cup before dispensing the soda. So, drinking lots of water during your meal may actually help spike your glucose levels. (although the stomach distension caused by the massive amount of water does wonders for limiting your capacity for food -- no room for that cheeseburger; my stomach is full of water)

honold said:
also heard about transfats, and the differences between saturated and unsaturated fats.

Anyone who has taken organic chemistry will know about the trans and cis positions of functional groups or atoms relative to a double bond. Food manufacturers saturate (hydrogenate) fats to make them more stable for cooking and storing. Unsaturated fats tend to go rancid more quickly and are thinner and runnier at room temperature, among other disadvantages. Unfortunately, the hydrogenation process creates "trans fats" by adding the two hydrogen atoms on opposite sides of the double bond instead of on the same side (cis) of the double bond as occurs in nature. This trans configuration causes the trans fat to interfere with lipid metabolism at least as much as saturated fats do (even if they are monounsaturated, which is what a lot of the partially hydrogenated polyunsaturates become).

Saturated fats interfere with lipid metabolism in a way that encourages formation of LDL (Low Density Lipoproteins). LDL is what people popularly (yet mistakenly) refer to as "the bad cholesterol" when they get their bloodwork back from the lab. LDL can also be thought of as those carriers which shuttle cholesterol away from the liver and into the bloodstream, ready for deposition onto arterial walls. HDL, often referred to as "the good cholesterol" can be thought of as those carriers which shuttle cholesterol back to the liver. It is dietary intake of saturated fat that largely raises serum cholesterol levels, NOT cholesterol, as people mistakenly believe.

Unsaturated fats (there are various degrees of unsaturation -- poly unsaturated... highly unsaturated in other words, and monounsaturated... lightly unsaturated, in other words) do not affect lipid metabolism negatively, so they are preferred in that way. In fact, polyunsatures may even reduce LDL levels and affect lipid metabolism in a positive way -- especially omega-3 polys. But there is a small caveat: polyunsaturates are easily oxidized and are more likely to form lipid free-radicals. Free-radicals, as you know, are nasty entities that can damage DNA -- in other words, they are carcinogens. Such is life; there is no such thing as a free ride. Antioxidants, however, like vitamin C, E, and Beta-carotene, can prevent oxidation and reduce the threat.

honold said:
my question is this: assume that i'm getting a perfect blend of requirements in terms of vitamins, protein, etc - a book-worthy balanced diet. assume this also happens 'magically'. if 100% of my calories were from fat, how would that change anything? comparing 1500 calories of a perfect diet vs 'automatic perfect diet balance' 1500 calories of pure fat.

First of all, that would be disgusting :p

Second of all, that wouldn't be too healthy. As I mentioned above, fats -- especially polyunsaturates -- can be carcinogenic. Add to that the amount of bile and other lipolytics you would need to digest all that fat, and that can't be good for your gall bladder. And what about the intestinal lube job? Things would go through you pretty quick. We're talking greased lightning here ;)

Fat is good because it promotes CCK release, which is partly responsible for the feeling of satiety (the feeling of being satisfied, full... satisfied), as well as slowing digestion, but let's not go overboard here. They are also calorically dense, so it's easy to add calories unwittingly.
 

jtr1962

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Merc,

Your situation is not uncommon. You were/are deeply in love with somebody who, through no fault of your own, is no longer in your life. Your hope of getting back together may or may not be rational. I only know you through your posts, and I don't know Amy at all, so I can't say whether this is just an experimental episode in her life or a permanent change. I will say that the situation is quite unusual in that for most people their sexual orientation is written in stone long before they graduate high school. While some experiment with same sex relationships after that, it is merely out of curiosity, and generally does not change their sexual orientation for life. Therefore, I tend to think Amy falls into one of two categories: 1)She was always attracted to the same sex but never admitted it to herself until recently 2)This is just an experimental episode in her life that will eventually pass. Whether putting your life on hold in the hope that possibility two exists is rational or not isn't for anybody but you to decide. From the outside looking in it doesn't appear to be, but then you wouldn't be the first or last person to have done so. In some cases a person does this even after their significant other is deceased, which obviously means no hope at all for a reunion(at least in this life). My maternal grandmother depended heavily upon her husband of more than 50 years in so many ways. When he passed away she saw no reason to continue, and basically willed herself to death. About a year later she passed away despite the best efforts of her daughters to help her. I can't honestly say she didn't do what she felt was the right thing. As tragic as the whole thing was, sometimes two people's lives are so intertwined that they cannot exist separately, or at least one of them can't. This is the downside of a very close relationship. When it ends, for whatever reason, you no longer see any joy in anything. I understand where you're coming from and can even say I've been there myself. I can only tell you to keep blindly going on as you are because there is always the hope that things will get better, or that you will wake up one day and realize you can get on with your life even if Amy is no longer a part of it. That you will always love her I have no doubt of, just as I will always love the one person I felt was special, and just as I will always love Tiger, even though they both aren't part of my daily life now.

I have another anecdote somewhat relevant to your situation. My brother went through a terrible time in his life a few years ago. He had long hated his job, and many other aspects of his life. It was obvious talking to him that he just wasn't himself anymore. He had talked about suicide several times. He felt there was no place in this world for him. He was in a pretty bad state overall. Then 9/11 happened. This made him realize that his problems paled in comparison to the thousands of families who had lost someone forever, including the son of one of my neighbors whom I had known for over twenty years. He finally had the guts to quit his job. He managed to make ends meet and eventually got a job he liked much more. In between his attitude changed. While he still has his ups and downs(who doesn't?) he realized that just the fact that he was alive when so many weren't meant he owed it to himself to start to tackle his problems. 9/11 affected me profoundly in so many ways as well. I vowed standing at the WTC ruins two Decembers ago that I would never be afraid of anything ever again. I owed that to all those who perished that day. Whatever life throws at me, I will take it and never, ever let fear or self-doubt affect me ever again. So long as I try my best, and am true to who I am, it matters not if I have any success in either relationships or business. If I don't, the problem is not within me, it is within others, and hence beyond my control. You might do well to ponder these thoughts for a time as well. Sure, things still get me down from time to time, as the death of Tiger did last October, but at least I know now that I can come back from anything. Once you find this ability within yourself, and I can't find it for you, you will be for all intents and purposes immune to whatever life throws at you. I used to wonder how POWs survived years of captivity in horrible circumstances. Now I know. Those who made it found the ability within themselves. That day at the ruins I felt something I never felt before in me. I remember standing there thinking of so many things while it was raining, my tears lost with the raindrops. I should have been cold but I wasn't. I just stood there over an hour, and soon I just knew nothing in this world would ever be able to hurt me again. Those who had tried to make me afraid had utterly failed. It was a very surreal and personal experience that is difficult to describe, even more difficult to share, but I do so in the hope that it can help.
 

mubs

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That was very beautiful and inspiring, jtr1962! Thank you for sharing and for so eloquently expressing what is so difficult to say.
 

Pradeep

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Merc, you will find in your mailbox either tomorrow or Friday something that will hopefully bring you joy.
 

Explorer

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Last July, over at the Uni, I ran the timed 1 mile as part of my "final exam" in a physical education class that I took (3 nights) along with a required summer business course (another night). I did not run it as fast as I could (smartly), but just fast enough to get a bit winded at the end.

If I recall correctly, my time was 6:26. My teacher said this time was in the top 3% for males 18 or older and in the top 0.13% of males in my age group (47 ~ 50). I celebrated later that night by drinking a pint of stout. Am I crazy??? I'm taking this course again starting in 1 week.
 

CougTek

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Congratulations Gary. Not only are you good for your age, but you are still good, period.

I'm curious to know how I would fare on one mile. I don't know any track where I could test myself. 8 years ago, I would have blown the 4 minutes bar for a single mile, I'm almost sure. Now, I would be satisfied with 5 minutes. Lifting weights does little for running endurance and I haven't run much in the last six years or so.

Next time you pass this test, please give your best shot. I want to know what time to target when I'll be your age (still a few years ahead). And that would also give me the rock bottom below which I refuse to drop now. Being beaten by an elder, no matter how exceptional for his age he is, would be totally unacceptable for myself.
 

Explorer

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honold said:
what does your avatar mean explorer?
  • [list:373e2ee9f2] [list:373e2ee9f2] [list:373e2ee9f2]
    ea.gif
    The avatar tells the story (in postage stamp form) about the thousand-year struggle between the itinerate but heroic Pangaean Duckpeople and the mischievous but god-like (and radioactive) Supernova e .
[/list:u:373e2ee9f2] [/list:u:373e2ee9f2] [/list:u:373e2ee9f2]
 

Explorer

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CougTek said:
Next time you pass this test, please give your best shot...

I think I'll just run my 4 miles per day (required minimum after week #2), then do a modest "final."

It's just a 1 credit hour activity course.
 

Howell

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Explorer said:
CougTek said:
Next time you pass this test, please give your best shot...

I think I'll just run my 4 miles per day (required minimum after week #2), then do a modest "final."

It's just a 1 credit hour activity course.

Why don't you just audit it for free? :D
 

Dïscfärm

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Howell said:
Why don't you just audit it for free? :D

Yeah. Audit = $100+ down the drain (1 hour tuition and exhorbitant user fees for the track and locker room) and get 0 credit hours x 4.0 (presumably, a grade of "A").

 

Howell

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Naw, as a senior citizen your audited classes would be free.

*and it's going, going and it's gone!* 8)
 

Splash

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Dïscfärm said:
Yeah. Audit = $100+ down the drain (1 hour tuition and exhorbitant user fees for the track and locker room) and get 0 credit hours x 4.0 (presumably, a grade of "A").

>> exhorbitant

hmmm...

exorbitant + horror = exhorbitant

...I guess :colors:





now, where the hell did that beer go!
 

CougTek

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Saw Buck post in the "Getting in shape" thread, thought I would see/read something unthinkable...

Nice little device. According to their charts, I'm an overweighted medium frame. Me, overweighted. Neat.
 

Howell

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Yeah. According to the chart at the bottom of the page I'm on the small side of "medium build". And overweight for the large build. Riiiiight.
 

e_dawg

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Some points:

- Measuring body fat by using your body's capacitance and resistance as a proxy is subject to bias. You can change the electrical properties of your body depending on what you eat that day. For example, eating a jumbo hot dog with fries can pump electrolytes into your body (nitrites from the dog, sodium from the dog and the salted fries). I bet it could change your BF reading by up to 5%. (guessing it would lower it)

- As for those height/weight tables, these BMI-based metrics do not take BF or muscularity into account. Most hockey players are 5'10", 185 for the small guys and 6'4", 225 for the big guys. They would all be considered obese according to the chart. But they are all muscle. Everybody in the NHL can bench press their weight -- even the small finesse guys; the stronger guys can do 1.5x their weight in their sleep -- almost as good as Coug :)
 

jtr1962

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e_dawg said:
As for those height/weight tables, these BMI-based metrics do not take BF or muscularity into account. Most hockey players are 5'10", 185 for the small guys and 6'4", 225 for the big guys.

Exactly. I'm 5'9" and my weight the last ten years has fluctuated between 170 and 190. I don't look fat outside of a bit of flab around me stomach(which goes away when I'm around 170 or thereabouts). Most people my height would look like fat slobs at 180. For the same volume muscle weighs more than fat. Since I've been biking regularly since around 1977 my legs have a huge amount of muscle(I could leg press 750 pounds for 20 reps and 1500 once last time I tried) but my legs are no bigger than normal. My arms are actually on the skinny side but thanks to lots of concrete and ceramic tile work(and gardening) in my house I'm sure they're also pretty muscular. Since I haven't been near a bench press since college I can't give any figures. However, I remember bench pressing 200 pounds back in college and I've gotten stronger since.

I imagine anyone else here who exercises regularly would say something similar.
 

CougTek

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e_dawg said:
Everybody in the NHL can bench press their weight -- even the small finesse guys; the stronger guys can do 1.5x their weight in their sleep -- almost as good as Coug :)
Actually, I can't lift more than 1.375x my own weight since that's all the amount of weights I possess. It's crazy how 45lbs plates can be expensive. I still wouldn't lift Merc on my bench though. Well, the Merc of two years ago, yes, but not the actual Merc.
jtr1962 said:
I could leg press 750 pounds for 20 reps and 1500 once last time I tried
Impressive. I have never tried more than 638lbs on a leg press, also because there were no additional plates at the small gym I used to train at a few years ago.
jtr1962 said:
However, I remember bench pressing 200 pounds back in college and I've gotten stronger since.
IMO, you would be in for quite a surprise if you would try again (surprise like in disapointment). While your arms might be sturdier, if you haven't benched for 20 years, I doubt you can still lift more than 150-160lbs, maybe even less. Remember that you're 39 now. You certainly have more endurance than when you were in your early twenties, but strenght...doubtful.
 

jtr1962

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Actually Coug I'm 40 now. I'll be 41 in November. Next time I'm by my brother's I'll see what I can do on his machine. I'm curious myself whether my strength or just my endurance went since my twenties. BTW, last fall I had a great time digging a dead tree out of the front yard. After the tree was out, I decided to go down about 8 feet to fix a slight water leak problem that still existed in my workroom. That was the fun part, especially when I was wresting a 500 pound boulder out of the hole by rolling it along an inclined plank. :eek: I can only assume the whole project helped my upper body strength. :mrgrn:

BTW, if you can lift the Merc of two years ago that is an impressive feat. I doubt I can lift my dad(6', ~280 pounds). With his shape it's rather hard finding the proper lift points. :lol:
 

blakerwry

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i don't see how it's possible to lift that much with your legs... simply crazy... After reading this I feel like I am completely out of shape, which is true compared to a couple years ago.
 
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