How do people meet people?
- Thread starter Mercutio
- Start date
CougTek
Hairy Aussie
30. Didn't understand clearly question 18 (edgewise???). Not sure what "pretending" means either in questions like #50 (I hate playing with kids anyway). Question #35 is unfair. Tell me a joke in French and I won't be the last one to get it.
Still, 30 is less than 32, so I'm not a freak
Oh, sorry Merc and JTR...
Still, 30 is less than 32, so I'm not a freak
Oh, sorry Merc and JTR...
Howell
Storage? I am Storage!
CougTek said:30. Didn't understand clearly question 18 (edgewise???). Not sure what "pretending" means either in questions like #50 (I hate playing with kids anyway). Question #35 is unfair. Tell me a joke in French and I won't be the last one to get it.
Still, 30 is less than 32, so I'm not a freak
#18, "edgewise" is a colloquilism that can be left out and not change the meaning.
Pretending requires imagination. It is to make believe. A child might pretend to be a cowboy or astronaut. Like how you pretend to not be Canadian.
fool
Learning Storage Performance
36,
also, for those interested in autism/Aspergers you may find wrong planet syndrome and or "Exposure anxiety" by Dona Williams interesting/useful.
also, for those interested in autism/Aspergers you may find wrong planet syndrome and or "Exposure anxiety" by Dona Williams interesting/useful.
Scored a 25 here. I hate tests like that. The questions are ambiguous to begin with and coupled with my tendency to read too much into them when answering leaves me with little confidence in the results.
I have a nephew who is autistic. Not so severe that he must be institutionalized but enough so that if you met him you would know right away something was not right. He did graduate from college last year but is having a difficult time finding a job. We love him to death anyway of course and have hope that he'll be able to live on his own successfully.
Count your blessings guys.
I have a nephew who is autistic. Not so severe that he must be institutionalized but enough so that if you met him you would know right away something was not right. He did graduate from college last year but is having a difficult time finding a job. We love him to death anyway of course and have hope that he'll be able to live on his own successfully.
Count your blessings guys.
jtr1962
Storage? I am Storage!
My mom took the test and got a 20. My dad didn't want to take it, but giving the answers I think he would the score came out to 40. Interesting, myself, my brother, and my sister all have some of the symptoms of Asperger's. My brother tends to jump from one thing to another, my sister can tell when an object is moved slightly, and also talks in a monotone. I guess these things really do run in families.
Regarding body language, I suggest you research it a bit, Merc. Because of my background body language came naturally for me. It just seemed a normal thing to do watching everybody I know. This is mostly because Italians are known world wide for their elaborate gesturing, basically carrying it to an art form. I even tend to gesture out of habit when I'm talking on the phone.
On another note, I tend to take in tons of information like Howell. Sometimes something as simple as a smell, light hitting something a certain way, a small sound, etc will trigger a flood of images. If I had an average or below average IQ I might very well have been classified as schizophrenic by virtue of not being able to process this flood of sensory input. I don't see things that aren't there of course, but ordinary things seem so much more intense to me than they do to most people. I see patterns that others just don't, including patterns in many people's behavoir.
I would say the biggest factor in any problems with socialization I may have had is in part due to my finding people at once so predictable in certain things, and yet so unpredictable in others. I remember in college getting particularly annoyed by the usual Friday and Saturday night drinking sprees. To me to rest after a hard week of school was exactly that. I just never "got it" why so many people think drinking alcohol and acting like a$$holes is fun, or relaxing. Ditto for vacations. I like going out once in a while, but then coming home and sleeping in my bed. I just never saw the point of spending your days off driving, flying, sleeping in hotels, etc. Sounds to me like more work and aggravation than it's worth. I might like to travel a bit in my life, but I'll do it when I have a suitable companion and can spend a few months in whatever country I decide to go to. The "rushed tourist" routine isn't for me.
Regarding body language, I suggest you research it a bit, Merc. Because of my background body language came naturally for me. It just seemed a normal thing to do watching everybody I know. This is mostly because Italians are known world wide for their elaborate gesturing, basically carrying it to an art form. I even tend to gesture out of habit when I'm talking on the phone.
On another note, I tend to take in tons of information like Howell. Sometimes something as simple as a smell, light hitting something a certain way, a small sound, etc will trigger a flood of images. If I had an average or below average IQ I might very well have been classified as schizophrenic by virtue of not being able to process this flood of sensory input. I don't see things that aren't there of course, but ordinary things seem so much more intense to me than they do to most people. I see patterns that others just don't, including patterns in many people's behavoir.
I would say the biggest factor in any problems with socialization I may have had is in part due to my finding people at once so predictable in certain things, and yet so unpredictable in others. I remember in college getting particularly annoyed by the usual Friday and Saturday night drinking sprees. To me to rest after a hard week of school was exactly that. I just never "got it" why so many people think drinking alcohol and acting like a$$holes is fun, or relaxing. Ditto for vacations. I like going out once in a while, but then coming home and sleeping in my bed. I just never saw the point of spending your days off driving, flying, sleeping in hotels, etc. Sounds to me like more work and aggravation than it's worth. I might like to travel a bit in my life, but I'll do it when I have a suitable companion and can spend a few months in whatever country I decide to go to. The "rushed tourist" routine isn't for me.
I filled out all the questions on that test ... and then realized they wanted you to add up the results by hand. I closed my browser window in disgust and went to bed.
I guess that means I failed the test. Or at least it says something about my personality.
This is an interestingly timed discussion. A friend of mine persuaded me to try this test just this past Tuesday. If you have Flash, it will even calculate your score for you. :wink:
I had an SQ score of 31.
I had an EQ score of 62.
This allegedly leaves me with a "female" brain. Great.
I guess that means I failed the test. Or at least it says something about my personality.
This is an interestingly timed discussion. A friend of mine persuaded me to try this test just this past Tuesday. If you have Flash, it will even calculate your score for you. :wink:
I had an SQ score of 31.
I had an EQ score of 62.
This allegedly leaves me with a "female" brain. Great.
Howell
Storage? I am Storage!
i said:
No, but missing the big button at the bottom that says "Calculate Score" does. :lol:
Mercutio
Fatwah on Western Digital
My scores were 7 for EQ and 62 for SQ. I did it by hand.
CougTek
Hairy Aussie
EQ 20, SQ 56
Oh, great. I'll go right away to ask for an invalid pension so I can spend all my time in a straight chair, leaning the head, starring at a blank wall and drooling on my clothes.
Here's the full list in case it's helpful:
The Empathy Quotient (EQ)
0-32 = You have a lower than average ability for understanding how other
people feel and responding appropriately. Most people with Asperger
Syndrome or high-functioning autism score about 20. On average, most
women score about 47 and most men about 42.
33-52 = You have an average ability for understanding how other people
feel and responding appropriately. You know how to treat people with
care and sensitivity. Most women score about 47 and most men about 42.
53-63 = You have an above average ability for understanding how other
people feel and responding appropriately. You know how to treat people
with care and sensitivity. On average, most women score about 47 and
most men about 42.
64-80 = You have a very high ability for understanding how other people
feel and responding appropriately. You know how to treat people with
care and sensitivity. On average, most women score about 47 and most
men about 42.
The Systemizing Quotient (SQ)
0-19 = You have a lower than average ability for analysing and exploring
a system. On average women score about 24 and men score about 30.
20-39 = You have an average ability for analysing and exploring a
system. Systemizing is the drive to analyse and explore a system, to
extract underlying rules that govern the behaviour or a system; and the
drive to construct systems. On average women score about 24 and men
score about 30.
40-50 = You have an above average ability for analysing and exploring a
system. On average women score about 24 and men score about 30. Most
people with Asperger Syndrome or high functioning autism score between
40-50.
51-80 = You have a very high ability for analysing and exploring a
system. Three times as many people with Asperger Syndrome score in this
range, compared to typical men, and almost no women score this high.
The Empathy Quotient (EQ)
0-32 = You have a lower than average ability for understanding how other
people feel and responding appropriately. Most people with Asperger
Syndrome or high-functioning autism score about 20. On average, most
women score about 47 and most men about 42.
33-52 = You have an average ability for understanding how other people
feel and responding appropriately. You know how to treat people with
care and sensitivity. Most women score about 47 and most men about 42.
53-63 = You have an above average ability for understanding how other
people feel and responding appropriately. You know how to treat people
with care and sensitivity. On average, most women score about 47 and
most men about 42.
64-80 = You have a very high ability for understanding how other people
feel and responding appropriately. You know how to treat people with
care and sensitivity. On average, most women score about 47 and most
men about 42.
The Systemizing Quotient (SQ)
0-19 = You have a lower than average ability for analysing and exploring
a system. On average women score about 24 and men score about 30.
20-39 = You have an average ability for analysing and exploring a
system. Systemizing is the drive to analyse and explore a system, to
extract underlying rules that govern the behaviour or a system; and the
drive to construct systems. On average women score about 24 and men
score about 30.
40-50 = You have an above average ability for analysing and exploring a
system. On average women score about 24 and men score about 30. Most
people with Asperger Syndrome or high functioning autism score between
40-50.
51-80 = You have a very high ability for analysing and exploring a
system. Three times as many people with Asperger Syndrome score in this
range, compared to typical men, and almost no women score this high.
Howell
Storage? I am Storage!
EQ=39
SQ=47
There were some questions that the answers would have pushed the either score higher had I answered the quiz 5 years ago. I'm mellowing a little and learning my limitations in my age.
SQ=47
There were some questions that the answers would have pushed the either score higher had I answered the quiz 5 years ago. I'm mellowing a little and learning my limitations in my age.
jtr1962
Storage? I am Storage!
EQ=31
SQ=56
I'm not surprised at all by the high SQ score, but I'm a little floored by the lowest EQ score. I've been told be many of my friends that I'm sensitive, and I've often been told I'm able to pick up on people's moods. Maybe I overanalyzed some of the questions.
SQ=56
I'm not surprised at all by the high SQ score, but I'm a little floored by the lowest EQ score. I've been told be many of my friends that I'm sensitive, and I've often been told I'm able to pick up on people's moods. Maybe I overanalyzed some of the questions.
jtr1962
Storage? I am Storage!
lowest=lowish in the first sentence.
jtr1962
Storage? I am Storage!
I think part of the problem with the EQ test may be that some of the questions are culturally biased. In most Western cultures telling "little white lies" is common. People often ask a question like "How does my haircut look?" when they really don't want an honest answer. This may account for my failure to score higher. All the more so because in NYC the people tend to be rather blunt, even rude, compared to most other places. What passes for normal here might be considered poor social grace elsewhere. Adding to this was the fact that most of my friends, especially in high school, were of Chinese or at least Asian background. Without drawing too many ethnic generalizations(which I hate to do anyway) what might be considered very rude behavoir in suburban white culture or was perfectly acceptable among the people I tended to hang around with, especially among the males. While I would never tell someone they had a bad haircut unless they asked, I remember one time one of the girls walked by and someone uttered something like "What happened? You got caught in a rainstorm?" I would never do that. Anyway, I never considered being honest with people rude or unempathetic, especially if they asked. Quite the opposite because my comments are meant to help the person see their faults and improve upon them. I'm not prone to criticizing superficial things, but I remember more than once people did poorly on tests when I knew they were smarter than that, and I told them they were lazy, inattentive, whatever. Sure, they were less than thrilled by my comments but later on I was sometimes actually thanked for my "motivation". Of course, a few times they never spoke to me again, but that's life. I have no desire to be a professional a$$ kisser.
On a closing note, for whatever reason I'm much more empathetic to animals than to people. Unfortunately, I think only one question asked about that. As I said, I'm not sure it's a completely valid test.
BTW, my brother scored 17 on the AQ test. Strange, although he's the "party animal" of the three of us. He used to go "clubbing" quite a bit in his twenties. I've never set foot in a club even once. He and I both agreed that my sister would probably score rather high on that test, though. She's another social misfit. I guess two out of three shows this thing runs in families.
Mercutio, are your siblings as socially inept as you are? Just curious.
On a closing note, for whatever reason I'm much more empathetic to animals than to people. Unfortunately, I think only one question asked about that. As I said, I'm not sure it's a completely valid test.
BTW, my brother scored 17 on the AQ test. Strange, although he's the "party animal" of the three of us. He used to go "clubbing" quite a bit in his twenties. I've never set foot in a club even once. He and I both agreed that my sister would probably score rather high on that test, though. She's another social misfit. I guess two out of three shows this thing runs in families.
Mercutio, are your siblings as socially inept as you are? Just curious.
Mercutio
Fatwah on Western Digital
I don't know the answer to that question, jtr.
jtr1962
Storage? I am Storage!
Sorry about the way I phrased that question. I suppose the way I asked it may have seemed a bit insensitive. What I really meant to ask was do your siblings have anything resembling a social life, and are they as isolated as you apparently are?
BTW, you're far from the only one in that situation. While I do like to socialize(occasionally and only with certain people), I've found it incredibly difficult to meet new people after I finished high school for many of the same reasons you have. In college, I didn't find a clique like I had in high school. I lost touch with all my high school friends. Unfortunately, I don't enjoy doing most of the things people usually do to meet others. I hate bars and clubs because I prefer not to drink in public, I hate smoke, and I hate loud music(actually I hate almost all music, most of which I consider man-made noise). Most of the things I do for fun tend to be solitary kinds of interests. Even when clubs exist, my schedule and temperament prevents me from committing the time each and every week. After all, things aren't fun for me when they're scheduled each and every week(seems more like work than fun after a while), or if I have to do them differently than I want to in order to compromise with the interests of my fellow club members. All that aside, I do get out from time to time, even if it is by myself. I just wish it was more socially acceptable to talk to strangers. Maybe I might have something resembling a social life now. The usual means of meeting people don't work for me either.
Another interesting side note-my mom got 63 on the EQ test and 65 on the SQ test. I was frankly floored by her high SQ score. However, thinking about it, she's frequently managed to confuse even me the way she strategically moves shrubs around in the garden as they grow. It's all like a carefully orchestrated ballet. Put this one here, take that one out, move a third one to the spot vacated by the first one, put two small ones where the second one was, etc.
BTW, you're far from the only one in that situation. While I do like to socialize(occasionally and only with certain people), I've found it incredibly difficult to meet new people after I finished high school for many of the same reasons you have. In college, I didn't find a clique like I had in high school. I lost touch with all my high school friends. Unfortunately, I don't enjoy doing most of the things people usually do to meet others. I hate bars and clubs because I prefer not to drink in public, I hate smoke, and I hate loud music(actually I hate almost all music, most of which I consider man-made noise). Most of the things I do for fun tend to be solitary kinds of interests. Even when clubs exist, my schedule and temperament prevents me from committing the time each and every week. After all, things aren't fun for me when they're scheduled each and every week(seems more like work than fun after a while), or if I have to do them differently than I want to in order to compromise with the interests of my fellow club members. All that aside, I do get out from time to time, even if it is by myself. I just wish it was more socially acceptable to talk to strangers. Maybe I might have something resembling a social life now. The usual means of meeting people don't work for me either.
Another interesting side note-my mom got 63 on the EQ test and 65 on the SQ test. I was frankly floored by her high SQ score. However, thinking about it, she's frequently managed to confuse even me the way she strategically moves shrubs around in the garden as they grow. It's all like a carefully orchestrated ballet. Put this one here, take that one out, move a third one to the spot vacated by the first one, put two small ones where the second one was, etc.
e_dawg
Storage Freak
AQ 26
No Asperger's (>32), but I do have slightly more autistic traits than the average person (16).
EQ 36
SQ 34
I'm a middle-of-the-road S-type.
Hooray! I'm a little eccentric, but I'm not a nut job
I think this quote is particularly fitting:
"If I am curt with you, it's because time is a factor. I think fast, I talk fast, and I need you guys to act fast if you want to get out of this. So pretty please, with sugar on top, clean the f...ing car."
-- The Wolf, Pulp Fiction
... as in, I am not devoid of social graces, but am occasionally preoccupied with things of greater importance.
No Asperger's (>32), but I do have slightly more autistic traits than the average person (16).
EQ 36
SQ 34
I'm a middle-of-the-road S-type.
Hooray! I'm a little eccentric, but I'm not a nut job
I think this quote is particularly fitting:
"If I am curt with you, it's because time is a factor. I think fast, I talk fast, and I need you guys to act fast if you want to get out of this. So pretty please, with sugar on top, clean the f...ing car."
-- The Wolf, Pulp Fiction
... as in, I am not devoid of social graces, but am occasionally preoccupied with things of greater importance.
Mercutio
Fatwah on Western Digital
A score of 7 EQ really makes it seem like there's something wrong there, doesn't it? It's not like I'm an unfeeling sociopath or anything... There's just a very large gap between "the people I care about" and "all the filler people."
Amy always said I was extremely sensitive toward her. I tried really hard. I know that.
Amy always said I was extremely sensitive toward her. I tried really hard. I know that.
blakerwry
Storage? I am Storage!
I scored pretty low on the 1st test, 14 I believe.
I got a 29 on the EQ test and I failed to take the SQ test.. maybe tomorrow.
I too dislike these tests because the questions are overly vague and if you think for just a moment you'll see that almost none of them can be answered with the simple I agree/disagree mentality. It seems only the questions I have strong opinions about can be answered as such. Maybe I don't have enough strong opinions, but i find it hard to answer many of the questions on these kinds of tests.
I got a 29 on the EQ test and I failed to take the SQ test.. maybe tomorrow.
I too dislike these tests because the questions are overly vague and if you think for just a moment you'll see that almost none of them can be answered with the simple I agree/disagree mentality. It seems only the questions I have strong opinions about can be answered as such. Maybe I don't have enough strong opinions, but i find it hard to answer many of the questions on these kinds of tests.
Howell
Storage? I am Storage!
Mercutio said:
I don't doubt that the people you care about know you care about them. What is the criteria for making it into the catagory of "the people I care about"? Can someone make a sudden leap from one catagory to the other.
There appears to be not only a large gap but a large size disparity between the catagories.
Mercutio
Fatwah on Western Digital
Providence.
The summer before my junior year of college, I spent a great deal of time with Amy. In my mind, we had established the "rules" as being "just friends"; we spent EVERY summer together, and had for five years.
That summer, after work, I'd swing by her house, pick her up, and we'd go see a movie or hang out in the park nearby, basically because we didn't want to be stuck at home with our parents and siblings (we both had lousy home situations).
One night in a movie, she put her head on my shoulder.
I thought it was innocent, but I liked it a lot.
A few weeks later, I won VIP tickets to a concert at Rivinia. Normally I wouldn't've gone, but these were $150 a seat tickets to see a performer (Thomas Hampson) I really admired, whom I got to meet after the concert. I invited Amy to come along... still not thinking "date".
Amy dressed to impress. She was a jeans-and-tshirts tomboy, but not that night. Even though she wasn't really interested in the music, she went with me, and we had a really great time. By the time we got home, we were joking about the fact that it was my first real "date".
A few weeks later, while her parents were on vacation, we made plans to hit the video store and veg out watching movies all day.
I came over with an armload of movies, but an innocent back scratch turned into 14-hours of sensual, wordless Amy-massaging without any interruption (massage, not sex, folks). We were literally unaware of the passage of time. It was noon, I looked up and it was 2:00AM.
She gave me a long hug and walked me to my car... and the next day, everything was pretty much back to normal. I was too shy, and to be honest I half-convinced myself I dreamed what had happened. But we fell right back in to walking around Lemon Lake and then to Dairy Queen for a dipped cone. Neither one of us talked about it.
The day before I went back to school, as I was saying good-bye (I thought until winter break) I worked up the nerve to ask her for a kiss goodbye. She did. Enthusiastically. With tongue.
The next weekend, she came down to Purdue's campus, found my dorm and literally surprised me by showing up at my door with a big, evil grin on her face.
I *still* thought of her as my friend during this time so that night when she crawled into my bed, I laid next to her, fully clothed and deathly afraid to touch her for fear of offending her. I was 19 and obviously very naive about these things (this from someone who worked as a bouncer in a strip club at 17).
The next day it was hot. 99F and probably 85% humidity (bad enough that someone I went to high school with who attended Purdue with me died that day after his daily crosscountry training). She was parked someplace highly inconvienent to go back and forth, so we walked the two-ish miles to campustown, since that was really all that there was to do. We visited shops and bookstores and eventually settled on a particular pizza place for our early dinner.
Except, as we walked in, Amy started to collapse. I caught her... lowered her to the ground, watched her face turn pale. I screamed for someone to call an ambulance. It hit me, then. I understood how she must've felt about me, to come for her visit, to sleep in my bed. I understood the responsibility I had been given, then trust that had been placed in me, and I felt the fear boil up out of my heart that I'd never told her how I really felt when I was so close to maybe never being able to tell her.
I screamed all the louder, unable to let go even as strangers rushed in to find out what had happened.
The EMTs came five agonizing minutes later. She had lost consciousness, either from low blood sugar or heat stroke but after a few minutes with an oxygen mask and a few cups of grape soda, she felt well enough to let me and one of the EMTs move her to a chair.
We stayed in the restaurant until it was dark and cool, and she leaned on me almost the whole long walk back to my dorm room.
That night we laid in my bed and... it wasn't what you would expect. We told each other how we really felt. We were both shy and afraid of driving the other away, and we both knew that we were either about to have something really magical and special, or we were about to ruin a perfect friendship. At four-thirty in the morning, hoarse from hours of whispering, she said "I love you."
It was unbidden, and had nothing to do with the previous moment's conversation.
"I love you, too." slipped out even as I realized the enormity - and the truth - of what I had said.
That was really all there was. It was settled. There were lingering kisses, a few enjoyable moments explaining all the places where I was now encouraged to put my hands, and then a gentle snore as she snuggled up against my chest for the first time.
---
If you can figure out where in all that to draw the line, Howell, let me know. Amy's the only person I can say with certainly to have made that jump since I was a boy.
The summer before my junior year of college, I spent a great deal of time with Amy. In my mind, we had established the "rules" as being "just friends"; we spent EVERY summer together, and had for five years.
That summer, after work, I'd swing by her house, pick her up, and we'd go see a movie or hang out in the park nearby, basically because we didn't want to be stuck at home with our parents and siblings (we both had lousy home situations).
One night in a movie, she put her head on my shoulder.
I thought it was innocent, but I liked it a lot.
A few weeks later, I won VIP tickets to a concert at Rivinia. Normally I wouldn't've gone, but these were $150 a seat tickets to see a performer (Thomas Hampson) I really admired, whom I got to meet after the concert. I invited Amy to come along... still not thinking "date".
Amy dressed to impress. She was a jeans-and-tshirts tomboy, but not that night. Even though she wasn't really interested in the music, she went with me, and we had a really great time. By the time we got home, we were joking about the fact that it was my first real "date".
A few weeks later, while her parents were on vacation, we made plans to hit the video store and veg out watching movies all day.
I came over with an armload of movies, but an innocent back scratch turned into 14-hours of sensual, wordless Amy-massaging without any interruption (massage, not sex, folks). We were literally unaware of the passage of time. It was noon, I looked up and it was 2:00AM.
She gave me a long hug and walked me to my car... and the next day, everything was pretty much back to normal. I was too shy, and to be honest I half-convinced myself I dreamed what had happened. But we fell right back in to walking around Lemon Lake and then to Dairy Queen for a dipped cone. Neither one of us talked about it.
The day before I went back to school, as I was saying good-bye (I thought until winter break) I worked up the nerve to ask her for a kiss goodbye. She did. Enthusiastically. With tongue.
The next weekend, she came down to Purdue's campus, found my dorm and literally surprised me by showing up at my door with a big, evil grin on her face.
I *still* thought of her as my friend during this time so that night when she crawled into my bed, I laid next to her, fully clothed and deathly afraid to touch her for fear of offending her. I was 19 and obviously very naive about these things (this from someone who worked as a bouncer in a strip club at 17).
The next day it was hot. 99F and probably 85% humidity (bad enough that someone I went to high school with who attended Purdue with me died that day after his daily crosscountry training). She was parked someplace highly inconvienent to go back and forth, so we walked the two-ish miles to campustown, since that was really all that there was to do. We visited shops and bookstores and eventually settled on a particular pizza place for our early dinner.
Except, as we walked in, Amy started to collapse. I caught her... lowered her to the ground, watched her face turn pale. I screamed for someone to call an ambulance. It hit me, then. I understood how she must've felt about me, to come for her visit, to sleep in my bed. I understood the responsibility I had been given, then trust that had been placed in me, and I felt the fear boil up out of my heart that I'd never told her how I really felt when I was so close to maybe never being able to tell her.
I screamed all the louder, unable to let go even as strangers rushed in to find out what had happened.
The EMTs came five agonizing minutes later. She had lost consciousness, either from low blood sugar or heat stroke but after a few minutes with an oxygen mask and a few cups of grape soda, she felt well enough to let me and one of the EMTs move her to a chair.
We stayed in the restaurant until it was dark and cool, and she leaned on me almost the whole long walk back to my dorm room.
That night we laid in my bed and... it wasn't what you would expect. We told each other how we really felt. We were both shy and afraid of driving the other away, and we both knew that we were either about to have something really magical and special, or we were about to ruin a perfect friendship. At four-thirty in the morning, hoarse from hours of whispering, she said "I love you."
It was unbidden, and had nothing to do with the previous moment's conversation.
"I love you, too." slipped out even as I realized the enormity - and the truth - of what I had said.
That was really all there was. It was settled. There were lingering kisses, a few enjoyable moments explaining all the places where I was now encouraged to put my hands, and then a gentle snore as she snuggled up against my chest for the first time.
---
If you can figure out where in all that to draw the line, Howell, let me know. Amy's the only person I can say with certainly to have made that jump since I was a boy.
e_dawg
Storage Freak
Wow. That is something special indeed, Merc. Thank you for sharing that with us. It was made even better for us with the power of your prose. You have a way with the written word, as we have told you countless times before.
---------------
Now, I was all ready to throw a plea for pragmatism into the situation, but I'll save that for later and just enjoy the picture you painted...
---------------
Now, I was all ready to throw a plea for pragmatism into the situation, but I'll save that for later and just enjoy the picture you painted...
blakerwry
Storage? I am Storage!
I'd say so. That does sound special.
jtr1962
Storage? I am Storage!
That brought tears to my eyes. Not just because it sounded so special, but also thinking about your profound sense of loss recently. And in so many ways it was reminiscent of my time with my one true love so many years ago. Not in the details so much, but in the same way we were friends first, and then just realized one day we were in love. We never had the courage to take the next step as you and Amy did, and that was always my one and only regret in life. Would I have given up the pain I felt after we were apart in exchange for never having known her? Not in a minute.
Thanks for sharing. That must have been very hard for you to do.
Thanks for sharing. That must have been very hard for you to do.
e_dawg
Storage Freak
I didn't mean to trivialize the love and understanding that you and Amy shared by highlighting your writing skills or implying in any way that it was your writing that made it special and not the relationship itself... that wasn't my intention at all.
Mercutio
Fatwah on Western Digital
Honestly, I'm not writing fiction, and I didn't write that to entertain others. I'm not realy worried about what anyone thinks of the prose. It's very real, and representative of my unique experience. Possibly illustrative of the dichotomy of my personality and of relationships with others.
Amy and I had an extremely unique relationship. I didn't know how to demonstrate that any other way.
Amy and I had an extremely unique relationship. I didn't know how to demonstrate that any other way.
Mercutio
Fatwah on Western Digital
"Two Roads Diverged in a Yellow Wood..."
At this point, I don't think I care what the real world is.
The moment I look away from a computer screen or the pages of my books, the moment I turn down my music and listen to something not generated by the stacks of electronics that surround me, I know I'm going to experience something I don't want to participate in.
If anything, the real world is an obstacle between myself and glorious freetime, time that I can spend alone and absorbed in the things that at least help me to be less aware of the passage of time itself.
I think perhaps that there's really nothing out there. Really. Others tell me I'm missing something for doing my best to ignore it. Look what I got from my time trying to be a part of the real world: Betrayal, depression, anxiety, illness. Hope, worst of all.
Here, in the pages of a book or glare of a screen, things at least get no worse. No pain is real, and when I don't like an outcome, I can shut it off without consequence. Here, there is no comparison to out there; the world I choose to inhabit seems to me, if not the real world, then the right world.
At this point, I don't think I care what the real world is.
The moment I look away from a computer screen or the pages of my books, the moment I turn down my music and listen to something not generated by the stacks of electronics that surround me, I know I'm going to experience something I don't want to participate in.
If anything, the real world is an obstacle between myself and glorious freetime, time that I can spend alone and absorbed in the things that at least help me to be less aware of the passage of time itself.
I think perhaps that there's really nothing out there. Really. Others tell me I'm missing something for doing my best to ignore it. Look what I got from my time trying to be a part of the real world: Betrayal, depression, anxiety, illness. Hope, worst of all.
Here, in the pages of a book or glare of a screen, things at least get no worse. No pain is real, and when I don't like an outcome, I can shut it off without consequence. Here, there is no comparison to out there; the world I choose to inhabit seems to me, if not the real world, then the right world.
Jake the Dog
Storage is cool
Mercutio said:
conveniently, any such thing a good time seems to have been ignored too.
Mercutio
Fatwah on Western Digital
How often does that happen? Annually? Bi-annually? How long should those last? Seconds? Minutes?
CougTek
Hairy Aussie
No guts, no glory.
Jake the Dog
Storage is cool
Mercutio said:
it's different for everyone. you get what you get. it's rediculous to suggest you've experienced no more than minutes of happiness, be it in love or friendship.
Mercutio
Fatwah on Western Digital
In public life - that outside my domecile - I can state with absolute certainty that I have found very little in the way of "good times".
I've described this to therapists as being "constitutionally incapable of having a good time".
I've described this to therapists as being "constitutionally incapable of having a good time".