(One last time, while I am still a free man.)
Forgive me being a little slow to respond, noble Giver. Next time you post to bait me, please try not to do it over the Aussie weekend - I find it very difficult to get in much time on-line between Friday AM and Monday PM. (Hence those mysterious absences you once remarked on.)
Or indeed, next time you post to please me - for your contributions have been a kalidescope of everything that is good and bad about SR.
On Friday, when I first saw your post I thought "at last! A sensible way to send a donation to SR". I was unsure as to the merits of your peculiar way of promoting SR - after all, selfless as your current offer is, you yourself are one of the primary reasons for the decline of that place as a quality forum. But what the hell - is a good idea less good because the source of it is suspect? I think not.
So I logged on to American Express and try as I might I could not find a practical way send the funds through them. Maybe the American and Australian offices have different systems. Anyway, after 20 minutes or so I gave up. As for PayPal, forget it. There are only two words I could possibly use to describe my response to PainPal: no way.
Today I skipped lunch to go down to my bank and ask them what they could do. After 20 minutes in the queue at the enquiry counter I nearly said "to hell with it" and walked out again. But I didn't, and my patience was rewarded, eventually, when I found that I can have them draw me up a cheque drawn on one of their US affilliates, in US dollars, for $15 a pop.
Yippee!
I guess that they will rip me off with the exchange rate, but after all this is a bank we are talking about here. It don't matter what you do with your money - spend it, save it, deposit it, withdraw it, smoke it, shoot it, or shove it up your arse - the one thing you can be sure of is that the bank will rip you off.
So: here's the deal. Tommorow I'll go back down to the bank with $500. That's $500 weakling little Aussie dollars, but still, they add up to a tidy stack of Greenbacks - about 200 or 250 of them. And I'll get the bank to make the cheque out to Handruin. (I would have done it today, except that I couldn't remember Doug's last name, and they probably also want his address, color of eyes, mother's maiden name ... )
I'll send my cheque to Doug, and as soon as it arrives, he'll write out his own cheque for US$100 to Storage Review and send it to them. The balance he will keep to add to the Storage Forum war chest.
That's my part.
OK, it's not the $500 US you were asking for, but it's a pretty damn good offer just the same.
Now for your part:
I don't want you to go away. I don't want you to come back. I want you to promise that, every time you post here, you will use the sig that I assign to you.
That's right. Post as you like. Visit here or stay away as you please. Say whatever you want (subject only to the usual powers of the moderators). Just promise that you will use whatever sig I ask.
That's it. No strings, no caveats. Deal to end on 1st January 2003. You'll have to get yourself a throwaway email address, or I could private message you (whichever you prefer), and from time to time I'll tell you what your new sig will be.
To start with, it might be no sig at all - after all, it's well known that I have a personal fetish about long sigs taking up precious screen real estate and expensive bandwith.
Or I might change it to "The Giver is now a responsible member of this BBS", or even "The Giver is Tannin's hero". Who knows, it might even suit my whim to see that old familiar THE GIVER HAS SPOKEN!.... So let it be Written!.... So let it be Done! once again.
On the other hand, I might decide that it's time that you helped remind us all of the forum rules. In that case, your sig might read: Trolling is prohibited. Trolling is defined as a posting that baits others into argument by angering and/or insulting another participant.
So there you have it. Five hundred bucks on the line, and all you have to do is agree. Say the word (yes, for despite all that has passed between us, I firmly believe that your word is good) and I'll send the dollars by express air mail.
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In about ten minutes, I take up my new position as Storage Forum Chairman. That will mean, alas, that I'll feel obliged to post with moderation and good sense (as best I can) and try not to be outrageous. In fact I'll probably get some flak about this present post from the more conservative and sensible of my colleagues. But - damn it - I'll miss being free to post exactly as I like for the next four months or so until my term is up, and I wanted one last chance to run around and kick a few heads as in the old days.
Think of this post as my swan song, or as my "bucks party" the night before the wedding. Sure I'll do my best to be a good husband ... er ... chairman ... and come straight home from work and never even think of playing up. But I felt the need of one long last post with that satisfying touch of mild controversy that is, after all, my trademark. And who better to be the target of it than my perennial old foe, The Giver?
Who better to benefit from it than those two wonderful storage web sites, the Review and the Forum?
So what do you say, old friend and enemy?
Five hundred bucks, I choose your sig.
Do we have a deal?
