I got this in my email today. Normally I wouldn't share it, but I feel the need to irritate more of you than I already have.
It's illogical to vote Republican in 2004.
It's illogical to vote for the Republican Party in 2004,
because you are expected to believe all of this.
Religion
1. A president lying about an extramarital affair is an impeachable offense. A president lying about the existence of weapons of mass destruction to enlist support for an unprovoked, undeclared war, in which tens of thousands of soldiers and civilians die, is "defense".
2. Christians believe "You shall not kill", but killing Iraqis helps them.
3. Jesus loves you, but shares your deep dislike of homosexuals and Hillary Clinton.
4. George W. Bush is a Christian, and Christians believe that lying is a sin, but it is okay for George Bush to mislead the public.
5. Christians believe in charity toward the poor, but it is okay for George Bush to reduce the budget for social services.
Big Business
6. The 3 movies and 35 recently published books that say that the U.S. government has become extraordinarily corrupt are all wrong, even though they were written by former members of the Bush administration and by Republicans, Democrats, generals, other former government leaders, Pulitzer Prize winners, political commentators, editorial writers, environmental organizations, and members of the public.
7. The Bush family's investments in weapons manufacturers through the The Carlyle Group do not constitute a conflict of interest, or tend to cause George Bush to prefer violent solutions.
8. There is nothing of interest in the fact that the Carlyle Group has done tens of millions of business with the bin Laden family, or that George H.W. Bush attended a Carlyle Group meeting with a half brother of Osama bin Laden a day after the bombing on September 11, 2001. On the other hand, the $58 million spent to investigate Bill Clinton's small, money-losing Whitewater investment was a good use of taxpayer money.
9. A woman can't be trusted with decisions about her own body, but multi-national corporations can make decisions affecting all humankind without regulation.
10. "Standing Tall for America" means firing your workers and moving their jobs to India.
11. HMOs and insurance companies and pharmaceutical companies have the interest of the public at heart. It is entirely acceptable for pharmaceutical companies to charge more in the U.S. than any other country in the world.
12. Providing health care to all Iraqis is sound policy. Providing health care to all Americans is socialism.
13. Global warming and tobacco's link to cancer are junk science, but it is okay to teach creationism in schools.
14. Saddam was a good guy when Reagan armed him and Rumsfeld reassured him he was our buddy, a bad guy when Bush's daddy made war on him, a good guy when Cheney did business with him as CEO of Halliburton, but then a bad guy again when Bush Junior needed a prop for his re-election campaign as the "war president", and needed the Israeli vote.
15. Trade with Cuba is wrong because the country is communist, but trade with China and Vietnam is vital to a "spirit of international harmony".
Government
16. Republicans are conservatives, but it is okay to spend like there is no tomorrow and run up extraordinary deficits that your grandchildren will have to pay, while at the same time refunding as much tax money as possible to rich people.
17. Government should limit itself to the powers named in the Constitution, which include banning gay marriages, censoring the Internet, and limiting stem cell research.
18. All votes should be counted, but not in a state where your brother is governor, if counting them would mean you would not be elected president.
19. The Bush administration has accomplished a lot in Iraq. The fact that a lot could be accomplished anywhere with $200 billion of U.S. taxpayer money is not important.
Foreign Policy
20. A good way to fight terrorism is to belittle our long-time allies, but then demand their cooperation and money.
21. The best way to decrease support for Arab terrorism is to invade an oil rich Arab country.
22. The United States should get out of the United Nations, but a national priority is getting U.N. cooperation, and enforcing U.N. resolutions against Iraq.
Sociology
23. What Bill Clinton or John Kerry did in the 1960s is of vital national interest but what George W. Bush did in the '80s is irrelevant.
24. The public has a right to know about Hillary Clinton's cattle trades, but George Bush's Harken Oil stock trades should be sealed in his daddy's library, and are none of our business.
25. The best way to improve military morale is to praise the troops in speeches, while slashing veterans' benefits and combat pay.
26. Someone who never traveled outside the U.S. before he began running for president can be sufficiently capable in fashioning foreign policy.
27. Being a drug addict is a moral failing and a crime, unless you're a conservative radio host. Then it's an illness and you need our prayers for your recovery.
28. Group sex and drug use are despicable, degenerate sins, except for a movie star who runs for governor of California as a Republican.
29. If condoms are kept out of schools, adolescents won't have sex or get AIDS.
30. Affirmative Action is wrong, but it is okay for your daddy and his friends to arrange for you to graduate from Yale without much studying, to dodge the draft in the Texas Air National Guard, to get Saudi Arabians who want to buy influence in the U.S. government to bail out your company, Harken Oil, and to get you elected governor of Texas.
31. Someone who often has trouble speaking coherent sentences can be fully mentally in charge as president of a large country.
32. Having been an alcoholic affects a person his entire life, but if you are George W. Bush you are fine.