Something Random

[Will Rickards]

Is there anything we non-spanking parents can do to compensate for the lack of a good spanking now and then?

If I couldn't spank my child, what would I substitute? I can't think of anything nearly as effective.

When you calm your child, what is the first thing you do? You touch them like a hug or holding them. Similarly a spanking can be just the appropriate discipline measure. Words aren't working at that point. And time outs only work for children who sit through them. But maybe your kid will never get there, every kid is different. Some don't challenge your authority.

But by far the #1 problem I see in parenting is not following through. If you establish a discipline for a behaviour you better follow through or face real difficulty in enforcement.

My opinion on spankings is only for direct defiance. Time outs for all other infractions. Kind of along the lines of the counting thing. But with my oldest who is 7 now, his infractions are different. So the discipline is different. Sometimes it is no wii for a week. Lose your DS, etc. Spankings are really only for a certain developmental period. If you are spanking a teenager, you're probably* wasting your time.

But I'll tell you one thing. Being the disciplinarian is the hardest part of being a parent.

* I don't have any teenagers yet - so I'll reserve the right to change my opinion later.

 

[fb]

My son is testing the limits all the time, just like it should be. And it's the parents that need to set the limits or people will not like them. But I usually try and explain things to him in a calm manner. It usually works much better than when I scream. I've tried it two times, once when he poked his finger in my loudspeakers and once when he beat me in the head like crazy with a toy hammer while I was carrying him on one arm and a full water container for the coffee machine in the other.

 

[Will Rickards]

There is something to be said for not escalating the situation. It is really hard though.

 

[Chewy509]

There is something to be said for not escalating the situation. It is really hard though.

Tell me about it. My 23mth old likes to push my limits on a daily basis. From memory there has only been 1 incident where he has received a light spank, otherwise he does pretty well at listening if we keep calm in the situation (even when he digs his teeth into your leg while you're cooking dinner).

We've found the 'time-out' method to work fairly well as he is getting older.

Now where's that manual for raising kids?

PS. My wife is now in first stages of labour with our second child (ad has been for the last few days). So should be any time now.

 

[ddrueding]

Now where's that manual for raising kids?

I think you're past the warranty period, though you could consult with your wife about an RMA.

PS. My wife is now in first stages of labour with our second child (ad has been for the last few days). So should be any time now.

Best of luck!

 

[Bozo]

One of the things I have learned, do to your child what he shouldn't do.

IE: Biting. Our daughter had a habit of biting. Words didn't help. A swat on the behind didn't help. So I bit her. Not hard, but enough to cause some pain. She never bit anyone again.
Get hit in the head with a hammer? Hit the child (gently) with the hammer.
A child does not understand that being hit or bit hurts, until it happens to them.
Use your good judgement, count to 10, or take a walk before administering the punishment, if the offense has you really angry.

 

[CougTek]

Hit the child (gently) with the hammer.

I'm often tempted to do that minus the gentle part on adults. You think it would work? I'm sure they would be dead calm afterward.

 

[LunarMist]

I got beaten, sometimes to the point of concussion.
I'm not particularly successful.

Oh that is terrible. Was it a relative?

 

[LunarMist]

In the olden days, principals swatted students with large wooden paddles that had holes drilled in them. I don't think it had any effect on anything.

 

[Handruin]

I got beaten, sometimes to the point of concussion.
I'm not particularly successful.

I've always thought you were successful. Give yourself some more credit. That is awful about being beaten.

 

[LunarMist]

WD20EARS. How it that compared to WD20EADS other than the extra cache?

 

[LunarMist]

Holy mother of fuck Avatar was cool.

$1.34 billion gross in 24 days. Just crazy.

 

[Bozo]

In the olden days, principals swatted students with large wooden paddles that had holes drilled in them. I don't think it had any effect on anything.

It wasn't that long ago, and it deffinately got your attention.

 

[Mercutio]

Oh that is terrible. Was it a relative?

My father has some anger issues.

 

[LunarMist]

.

 

[LunarMist]

My father has some anger issues.

My father had some anger issues too. Fortunately he took most of them out on the Germans before I was born.

 

[LunarMist]

It wasn't that long ago, and it deffinately got your attention.

Well 40 years is a long time ago to me.

 

[LunarMist]

My e-mail is dead for no good reason. :bibber:

 

[ddrueding]

My e-mail is dead for no good reason. :bibber:

No good reason means you know the reason and it isn't good?

 

[LunarMist]

I don't know the reason. Obviously it is the ISP since the internet is fine.

 

[ddrueding]

I don't know the reason. Obviously it is the ISP since the internet is fine.

But you never know, it could be a good reason.

Then again, if you used Google for your mailserver, they have a webpage that displays current status of all their apps, including progress and predicted repair time.

 

[DrunkenBastard]

If I couldn't spank my child, what would I substitute? I can't think of anything nearly as effective.

When you calm your child, what is the first thing you do? You touch them like a hug or holding them. Similarly a spanking can be just the appropriate discipline measure. Words aren't working at that point. And time outs only work for children who sit through them. But maybe your kid will never get there, every kid is different. Some don't challenge your authority.

But by far the #1 problem I see in parenting is not following through. If you establish a discipline for a behaviour you better follow through or face real difficulty in enforcement.

My opinion on spankings is only for direct defiance. Time outs for all other infractions. Kind of along the lines of the counting thing. But with my oldest who is 7 now, his infractions are different. So the discipline is different. Sometimes it is no wii for a week. Lose your DS, etc. Spankings are really only for a certain developmental period. If you are spanking a teenager, you're probably* wasting your time.

But I'll tell you one thing. Being the disciplinarian is the hardest part of being a parent.

* I don't have any teenagers yet - so I'll reserve the right to change my opinion later.

The hardest part IMO is having infinite patience. Patience to understand that the kid doesn't know any better(usually). I spank when there is direct defiance, or if they are doing something really dangerous (playing with matches, etc). As my kids have grown (two boys, now 12 and 9), spankings as you say can be ineffective (nothing like hearing them laugh as you try and make them cry), suspension of PSP/PC and ATV privileges now seem to do the trick.

 

[LunarMist]

But you never know, it could be a good reason.

Then again, if you used Google for your mailserver, they have a webpage that displays current status of all their apps, including progress and predicted repair time.

If I knew any of my e-mail passwords, I might have been able to check online. It was working a bit later.

 

[Mercutio]

Exchange 2007 takes too goddamned long to install. Exchange 2003, which I also hate but which is vastly easier to install, will not run on 64-bit Server 2003. So I've been watching Exchange 2007 install for 40 minutes just so I can turn on calendar sharing for two fucking people.

I think Outlook users have some kind of medical condition. Something like mad cow disease.

 

[ddrueding]

Now that Google Apps' paid version supports direct Outlook sync, I no longer maintain any Exchange servers.

 

[Mercutio]

That would require their whole org to upgrade to the commercial version of Apps. They also don't want to pay $15 a month for two people to have hosted Exchange accounts someplace and (sigh) they already bought the Exchange license.

At least I talked them out of BES...

 

[ddrueding]

Yeah, these are the reasons why I like being the guy that makes the decisions. Constantly putting out fires can get really old.

 

[Mercutio]

Some of my customers see me that way. Some of them do stupid shit because they asked their brother in law who knows a lot about computers first. Whatever. I don't want to be in charge so I just suck it up.

 

[ddrueding]

I don't want to be in charge so I just suck it up.

I understand that position, the number of responsibilities/commitments I have here is getting a bit out of control. But at the same time, I was getting blamed for all kinds of shit when I wasn't making the decisions, either.

The major thing I miss about being a consultant was the ability to drop a pain-in-the-ass client without major consequences.

 

[LunarMist]

I just spent the better part of a week upgrading my storage systems and the media sorting and indexing software associated with it.

End result: four 12TB RAID6 arrays and two 6TB RAID5s.

If I win the lottery I'll hire you build one of the massive RIADs.

 

[Mercutio]

If I win the lottery I'll hire you build one of the massive RIADs.

They're just a bunch of desktop drives in inexpensive rackmount cases connected to some mix of desktop board SATA ports or semi-fancy RAID card SATA ports.

I did make an effort to minimize noise and vibration, but the only thing fancy about those systems is the number and capacity of the drives involved.

 

[LunarMist]

They're just a bunch of desktop drives in inexpensive rackmount cases connected to some mix of desktop board SATA ports or semi-fancy RAID card SATA ports.

I did make an effort to minimize noise and vibration, but the only thing fancy about those systems is the number and capacity of the drives involved.

Yes, but you know how to make it work. I'm still stuck in 32-bit land at least 50% of the time. Did you use this drive or something else?

 

[Mercutio]

Nah. 1TB and 1.5TB models.

 

[LunarMist]

Damn, that is a ton of drives.

 

[Mercutio]

Damn, that is a ton of drives.

My four file servers have 16 - 20 SATA ports apiece.


Sunday I saw Tosca at Lyric Opera in Chicago. It was the B-cast and the B conductor, but I was on the main floor, 10 rows back and directly behind the conductor. My seat cost about half what my monthly rent does. It was exquisite regardless, and of course it's extravagant beyond measure. For my money, I was close enough that I could just barely see the expressions on the performers' faces.

Opera is essentially the crowning jewel of the performing arts, with masters needed for stagecraft, costuming, and musicianship.

Today, Saturday, I went to my local movie theater and watched an HD telecast of Carmen. The ticket was $22 for three and a half hours. I saw a genuinely gorgeous, athletic, passionate and yes, SEXY young soprano not just sing but dance and seduce (things that opera singers are generally not believably capable of doing). I saw costumes in enough detail to know the texture of the fabric. I saw stagehands contruct million-dollar sets in 20 minutes. And I heard amazing music.

They'll re-broadcast the opera to local theaters next Wednesday night and I am REALLY thinking I'm going to go again.

I convinced three women that I know from another forum that they could go and try an opera on for size. One of them drove two hours to get to the nearest theater showing the performance. She called me as we were both walking out of our theaters to tell me just how speechless she actually was and all of them said there's no question that they'd go again.

Guys, I swear, find a theater that does Metropolitan Opera in HD telecasts. Buy your tickets online before the day of the show, 'cause they sell out in a lot of places, but GO. See one. Worst case scenario, you'll waste an afternoon, but these shows are like nothing else in the world, and it is an absolute privilege that these performances are being shared with the whole world instead of a single theater of seats that cost $300.

 

[LunarMist]

I cannot handle being in a theater, but that sounds cool.

 

[Mercutio]

The movie theater I go to, there's only maybe 10 - 20 people there. I hate being in a restaurant by myself, but in a theater it's dark and no one is paying attention to anything but what's on the stage or screen.

 

[ddrueding]

Today, Saturday, I went to my local movie theater and watched an HD telecast of Carmen. The ticket was $22 for three and a half hours. I saw a genuinely gorgeous, athletic, passionate and yes, SEXY young soprano not just sing but dance and seduce (things that opera singers are generally not believably capable of doing). I saw costumes in enough detail to know the texture of the fabric. I saw stagehands contruct million-dollar sets in 20 minutes. And I heard amazing music.

They'll re-broadcast the opera to local theaters next Wednesday night and I am REALLY thinking I'm going to go again.

I convinced three women that I know from another forum that they could go and try an opera on for size. One of them drove two hours to get to the nearest theater showing the performance. She called me as we were both walking out of our theaters to tell me just how speechless she actually was and all of them said there's no question that they'd go again.

Guys, I swear, find a theater that does Metropolitan Opera in HD telecasts. Buy your tickets online before the day of the show, 'cause they sell out in a lot of places, but GO. See one. Worst case scenario, you'll waste an afternoon, but these shows are like nothing else in the world, and it is an absolute privilege that these performances are being shared with the whole world instead of a single theater of seats that cost $300.

Thanks for the review. Carmen is my favorite opera by a long way, and I was thinking of seeing it here (the local theater does it). You've certainly cinched the deal.

 

[LunarMist]

The movie theater I go to, there's only maybe 10 - 20 people there. I hate being in a restaurant by myself, but in a theater it's dark and no one is paying attention to anything but what's on the stage or screen.

I have the opposite problem. I'd also have to drive too far to a major city, probably in some downtown area.

 

[time]

Now that Google Apps' paid version supports direct Outlook sync, I no longer maintain any Exchange servers.

How big can a single mailbox be? I have a client who needs to park about 16GB of emails, but most outsourced services don't provide that much.