Stereodude
Not really a
That's not your normal evening? :scratch:
Something Random
- Thread starter ddrueding
- Start date
Mercutio
Fatwah on Western Digital
Well usually the gunfire is just a random shot or two.
sedrosken
Florida Man
I've been looking at SF here in the Wayback machine. The old page layout looks pretty cool, kind of funny there was a dedicated news section, and I'm strangely happy to see the forum hierarchy hasn't changed much. The particular version I'm looking at shows mubs as the newest registered user.
mubs
Storage? I am Storage!
That must have been waaaaaay back!
Join Date:11-22-2002
mubs
Storage? I am Storage!
I didn't know about this site. Tannin mentioned the "other site" on SR. I asked which one it was, and then came here and registered.
Mercutio
Fatwah on Western Digital
I usually take off from work from my birthday in early December until after the new year, but this year I'm getting pretty hosed by that. I'll get 13 work days off plus one that would be a holiday anyway, but I'm actually going to wind up with an extra week of time off I can't use. Something worse than getting a solid block of time off is having to leave even more of that time on the table. My own damned fault but it still pisses me off.
I don't know how long it's been since I've bitched about dating web sites, but I just noticed that OKCupid has a metric called a "like." I didn't know they existed because I've never gotten one until this weekend. Talking to people I know who use dating web sites, mostly other dateless nerds from Imgur, even the other hard-luck cases seem to get a three or four a week. One of my friends moved from Kingston, Jamaica to Brooklyn and got 3000 in 48 hours. Apparently, I have found the definition of being a non-person on a dating site.
I need to move someplace that isn't terrible. Coug, is your company hiring?
sedrosken
Florida Man
This in a nutshell is one of many reasons why I don't use dating websites. I'm undesirable and I know it already, I don't need to have it confirmed by lack of attention on the web. I get enough of that outside the matrix.
I'm torn between being bitter and lonely, and being glad I won't ever end up having to split an income with anyone.
Mercutio
Fatwah on Western Digital
sed, you're at an age where you still have to be around people who are your own age. Do. Not. Fucking. Waste. That. Go do things that involve people who are your own age. College has social opportunities that you will never see again.
Maybe, if you're lucky, after college you will move to a relatively urban area with some additional social options, but you need to understand that the older you get, the harder it is. At some point, everyone in your cohort will be paired off. You'll be the odd man out, and the older you are, the odder it is. If you live alone, you'll also become odder just as a natural consequence of not having certain kinds of human interaction. Not everyone has to have a relationship to be happy, but do please do yourself the huge favor of finding that out before committing to hermitage.
Maybe, if you're lucky, after college you will move to a relatively urban area with some additional social options, but you need to understand that the older you get, the harder it is. At some point, everyone in your cohort will be paired off. You'll be the odd man out, and the older you are, the odder it is. If you live alone, you'll also become odder just as a natural consequence of not having certain kinds of human interaction. Not everyone has to have a relationship to be happy, but do please do yourself the huge favor of finding that out before committing to hermitage.
sedrosken
Florida Man
I have friends. I do social things. I'm just not bothering with the dating game in a world where it seems all the males of my generation are interested in is casual sex and all the females assume that's what I'm after and act accordingly.
Not trying to act like an emo teenager but to be frank I want to at least wait it out until prospective partners grow the hell up. Unfortunately I think that's unlikely to happen.
Not trying to act like an emo teenager but to be frank I want to at least wait it out until prospective partners grow the hell up. Unfortunately I think that's unlikely to happen.
Mercutio
Fatwah on Western Digital
They don't grow up. Truly. The nearly universal expectation is that relationship follows a casual affair. You have to practice dealing with that or deal with the consequence of not being able to.
Stereodude
Not really a
You're in college. You don't need a dating website. Step away from the Linux box and go interact with the opposite sex in a social context. You're likely to never have greener pastures than college.
Mercutio
Fatwah on Western Digital
This is also what I'm saying. I hang around with 19 - 30 year old girls because I like spending time with them and my credentials as a decent person have been established with them. They're completely off the table for dating though because I'm the same approximate age as their parents. I have absolutely no option at all to meet age-appropriate unmarried human females because I live someplace 40 year old women don't gather and I'm not going to start pestering random ladies at the grocery store. I've aged out of any possibility of meeting someone.
Do that shit while you can cause once you're in a job, your options are going to vanish in fairly short order.
Do that shit while you can cause once you're in a job, your options are going to vanish in fairly short order.
Chewy509
Wotty wot wot.
This is so true. So many people I knew as a teenager, haven't grown up any more than from when I knew them at 18yrs old. (and hence why I don't have contact with them anymore). Unless they have a drastic life moment (death, cancer, etc), they never really mature.
Chewy509
Wotty wot wot.
While I don't believe this to 100% true, unfortunately at 40+ most single women are typically divorced with kids, and if this is a deal breaker it certainly can be hard.
If you have no commitments (other than employment) is there anything stopping you from packing up and moving? (I here the US is about to go further down the toilet and Canada or New Zealand is pretty nice these days - forget Oz, the current government attempting at turning Oz into a worse version of the US - let's destroy a national broadband network - let's get rid of universal healthcare - let's reduce spending on infrastructure, let's reduce spending on public education, etc...).
Chewy509
Wotty wot wot.
@sed, Relationships are freaking hard... But the joy and enrichment they can bring to your life is immeasurable. Don't wait, get out there and enjoy everything that is on offer...
Your lucky, in that here most of us are older (30+) with life experience to go with it. Some of us have been divorced, some of us have kids, some of us have never married, some of us have taken lives (in the name of your friendly local government), some of us have seen and done shit that no one should ever have to do. So if you have questions, don't hesitate to ask (even if it's via a PM).
*PS. Disclaimer: always, always, always use protection (and no relying on the girls birth control, no rubber, no go), while most STDs can be an annoyance, creating life (especially when neither of you are ready) is not something to be taken lightly.
Your lucky, in that here most of us are older (30+) with life experience to go with it. Some of us have been divorced, some of us have kids, some of us have never married, some of us have taken lives (in the name of your friendly local government), some of us have seen and done shit that no one should ever have to do. So if you have questions, don't hesitate to ask (even if it's via a PM).
*PS. Disclaimer: always, always, always use protection (and no relying on the girls birth control, no rubber, no go), while most STDs can be an annoyance, creating life (especially when neither of you are ready) is not something to be taken lightly.
sedrosken
Florida Man
Look, how about this. If someone decides they like me enough to pursue me, I'm not going to turn them down.
Now that we're done discussing improbabilities I would like to point out that I'm not isolating myself, I'm just exercising my choice in not trying to date. So what if I won't be able to do it ten or twenty years from now? I can't even do it now! Suffice it to say that my Charisma score was probably the lowest of the bunch. I'd rather not put the time and effort into it and find it wasted when I could get a much better ROI from using that time to study or do an assignment instead.
Now that we're done discussing improbabilities I would like to point out that I'm not isolating myself, I'm just exercising my choice in not trying to date. So what if I won't be able to do it ten or twenty years from now? I can't even do it now! Suffice it to say that my Charisma score was probably the lowest of the bunch. I'd rather not put the time and effort into it and find it wasted when I could get a much better ROI from using that time to study or do an assignment instead.
Last edited:
I was about to say that OCs are not reliable and women often lie that they are on them.
Part of the issue is going to be your own attitude. Your attitude about yourself and about life. If you've already subscribed to the opinion that you're undesirable...then really it'll be a self-fulfilling prophecy. Fundamentally and instinctual a large portion of hetero women are going to want to interact and seek out an alpha hetero male vs a beta male. This isn't always true but in a college environment with more competition it will feel like odds are stacked against you if you don't have the right attitude.
If you can already identify what you might think is undesirable then are you able to find ways to make yourself more desirable? You can certainly be bitter and lonely but that won't help you long term. Until you can figure out how to address the areas that make you happier and more desirable you'll not want to seek out a female partner anyway otherwise you'll be setting yourself up for failure. That's not to say you should avoid an opportunity but at least understand where you are as you mature and understand yourself, the world and women a little better. You should remember that on a simplistic level your genes and that of your ancestors have all had traits and characteristics that have allowed your DNA and family line to successfully progress over time. I know that seems cheesy but think about that for a bit. What you have is a bloodline that has been successful up to now to reproduce and to continue on your genes.
My point is, you're not stacked for failure, you're just at an age where you haven't yet had enough world experience to build the confidence you need. This confidence will serve you more than just with females but also with a lot of opportunities in life. There is a decent amount of value in the fake it until you make it viewpoint. Recognize, appreciate, and stay away from being the colloquial nice guy...otherwise you'll lock yourself into a hell of friend-zone. That won't do you any good and it'll be painful to manage as time goes on.
Mercutio
Fatwah on Western Digital
Kids are a deal breaker, even grown ones. I don't have the life experiences at this point to deal with having to interact with someone who needs the approval of third (kid) or fourth (exes) parties to manage their romantic affairs. Hilariously, universally among other single people I know who are already parents themselves would rather date people without kids. You would think this would work in my favor at some point, but it doesn't.
Stereodude
Not really a
Well, that depends on your career field and whether you're an outgoing person. There are many fields where there are lots of women. However, I don't think Sed's planning to be a nurse or a elementary school teacher.
Stereodude
Not really a
This is the wrong attitude. You have to take some initiative. Your life is not a gender reversed Disney movie where some cute, funny girl who's your soulmate is going to come knocking on your door because she's out searching for you.
If you don't force yourself to interact with the opposite sex you'll never get any better at it. Even if you're not trying to date girls now you should still have female friends. Being awkward around girls at 18 is not exactly unusual, and you're not too far away from them in social and emotional experience. They'll cut you some slack. Try the same thing at 30 and you're going to find it very hard to smooth out your interactions as your emotional and social experience level will be at such a great disparity from those of nearly all the girls you'll come across you're not going to get the time of day.
As far as ROI and studying / doing assignments... Are there no girls in any your classes? You can study in a group that has members of the opposite gender. You can accomplish two things at once.
You're in college to learn. Honing your social skills with other people, especially those of the opposite gender, is a critical class for life. Just because it's not going to show up on your transcript doesn't mean you should back burner or ignore it.
jtr1962
Storage? I am Storage!
Well, that was the mistake I made, sort of. I didn't outright turn them down, but I was really bad at showing my feelings (or really great at hiding them). So was she, to some extent. I still regret that to this day, having someone who was perfect for me in every way and not having anything come of it. Really my only big regret in life.
As Merc and others have said, it only gets exponentially harder to meet people as you get older.
jtr1962
Storage? I am Storage!
Maybe it's just me or the city I live in, but that's not something I would let stop me if they were OK with it. The good thing with people that age is most don't have kids. I agree 100% with your feelings on that:
CougTek
Hairy Aussie
We've hired a new technician Friday late afternoon. Too late.
We have an office at Thornhill (can be considered Toronto), but there's no tech support there. You wouldn't like the pay (way too low for a guy with your qualifications). The only half decent salary is mine and I wouldn't be surprised to earn more than 10K$ less than you do. There's no grade above me, unless you're one of the president's sons.
One big obstacle for you would be that at least 95% of the job is with French-speaking employees. French apparently isn't an easy language to learn.
There are many job offerings in Toronto's area from companies other than the conglomerate I work for. I can tell you where to look if you want.
Mercutio
Fatwah on Western Digital
I'm not well compensated, LM. As I recall, dd's assistant makes more than I do. I like my job a lot because of the flexibility I have and the number of different hats I get to wear, plus the fact that stable full time/permanent IT gigs are not a thing that seems to exist, at least around Chicago.
Canada? I like Canada. Those people are sane up there. Listen to their candidates for PM debate and tell me it's not a whole different world.
Canada? I like Canada. Those people are sane up there. Listen to their candidates for PM debate and tell me it's not a whole different world.
I have no idea about politics. Just be careful of the Korean women and your shoes.
:lol:
timwhit
Hairy Aussie
It depends on what you mean by IT work, but there are plenty of good technology jobs downtown Chicago, the western suburbs, and the northern suburbs.
Yeah. Aren't there nearly 10 million people in the region? There must be plenty of IT-related jobs.
If not Chicago or Canada, your largest tech regions will also be on either end of the coast (California/Massachusetts). There are many jobs that exist which fit your desires. You may want to look into a DevOps role if you like the multiple hats and want to be in charge of larger environments. The cost of living will be a change you'd want to consider but you should be able to do well financially in those areas given your knowledge base and experience. Making $60K-$100K+ in my area is very reasonable for skilled workers and even with the cost of living you would live very comfortably. If my company was hiring I'd certainly send you info. We need more DevOps people but will have to wait a while. We have three people managing all the IT for 350 people in the company. They're all great, just always busy.
timwhit
Hairy Aussie
Experienced DevOps people easily can pull over $100k at my company.
Stereodude
Not really a
Why does he need to move to AZ before getting an AR-15? You can own one most anywhere.
I think the point is it's more commonly associated?