mubs
Storage? I am Storage!
Liar. There's tons of "I wrote" and other I isms in that article.
Something Random
- Thread starter ddrueding
- Start date
Mercutio
Fatwah on Western Digital
Found this while I was browsing a minute ago. I thought it was rather funny
--------------------------------------
This morning there was a knock at my door. When I answered the door I found a well groomed, nicely dressed couple.
The man spoke first: "Hi! I'm John, and this is Mary."
Mary: "Hi! We're here to invite you to come kiss Hank's ass with us."
Me: "Pardon me?! What are you talking about? Who's Hank, and why would I want to kiss his ass?"
John: "If you kiss Hank's ass, he'll give you a million dollars; and if you don't, he'll kick the shiat out of you."
Me: "What? Is this some sort of bizarre mob shake-down?"
John: "Hank is a billionaire philanthropist. Hank built this town. Hank owns this town. He can do what ever he wants, and what he wants is to give you a million dollars, but he can't until you kiss his ass."
Me: "That doesn't make any sense. Why..."
Mary: "Who are you to question Hank's gift? Don't you want a million dollars? Isn't it worth a little kiss on the ass?"
Me: "Well maybe, if it's legit, but..."
John: "Then come kiss Hank's ass with us."
Me: "Do you kiss Hank's ass often?"
Mary: "Oh yes, all the time..."
Me: "And has he given you a million dollars?"
John: "Well no, you don't actually get the money until you leave town."
Me: "So why don't you just leave town now?"
Mary: "You can't leave until Hank tells you to, or you don't get the money, and he kicks the shiat out of you."
Me: "Do you know anyone who kissed Hank's ass, left town, and got the million dollars?"
John: "My mother kissed Hank's ass for years. She left town last year, and I'm sure she got the money."
Me: "Haven't you talked to her since then?"
John: "Of course not, Hank doesn't allow it."
Me: "So what makes you think he'll actually give you the money if you've never talked to anyone who got the money?"
Mary: "Well, he gives you a little bit before you leave. Maybe you'll get a raise; maybe you'll win a small lotto; maybe you'll just find a twenty dollar bill on the street."
Me: "What's that got to do with Hank?"
John: "Hank has certain connections."
Me: "I'm sorry, but this sounds like some sort of bizarre con game."
John: "But it's a million dollars, can you really take the chance? And remember, if you don't kiss Hank's ass he'll kick the shiat of you."
Me: "Maybe if I could see Hank, talk to him, get the details straight from him..."
Mary: "No one sees Hank, no one talks to Hank."
Me: "Then how do you kiss his ass?"
John: "Sometimes we just blow him a kiss, and think of his ass. Other times we kiss Karl's ass, and he passes it on."
Me: "Who's Karl?"
Mary: "A friend of ours. He's the one who taught us all about kissing Hank's ass. All we had to do was take him out to dinner a few times."
Me: "And you just took his word for it when he said there was a Hank, that Hank wanted you to kiss his ass, and that Hank would reward you?"
John: "Oh no! Karl's got a letter Hank sent him years ago explaining the whole thing. Here's a copy; see for yourself."
John handed me a photocopy of a handwritten memo on "From the desk of Karl" letterhead. There were eleven items listed:
1. Kiss Hank's ass and he'll give you a million dollars when you leave town.
2. Use alcohol in moderation.
3. Kick the shiat out of people who aren't like you.
4. Eat right.
5. Hank dictated this list himself.
6. The moon is made of green cheese.
7. Everything Hank says is right.
8. Wash your hands after going to the bathroom.
9. Don't drink.
10. Eat your wieners on buns, no condiments.
11. Kiss Hank's ass or he'll kick the shiat out of you.
Me: "This would appear to be written on Karl's letterhead."
Mary: "Hank didn't have any paper."
Me: "I have a hunch that if we checked we'd find this is Karl's handwriting."
John: "Of course, Hank dictated it."
Me: "I thought you said no one gets to see Hank?"
Mary: "Not now, but years ago he would talk to some people."
Me: "I thought you said he was a philanthropist. What sort of philanthropist kicks the shiat out of people just because they're different?"
Mary: "It's what Hank wants, and Hank's always right."
Me: "How do you figure that?"
Mary: "Item 7 says Everything Hanks says is right.' That's good enough for me!"
Me: "Maybe your friend Karl just made the whole thing up."
John: "No way! Item 5 says 'Hank dictated this list himself.' Besides, item 2 says 'Use alcohol in moderation,' item 4 says 'Eat right,' and item 8 says 'Wash your hands after going to the bathroom.' Everyone knows those things are right, so the rest must be true, too."
Me: "But #9 says 'Don't Drink,' which doesn't quite go with #2. And #6 says 'The moon is made of green cheese,' which is just plain wrong."
John: "There's no contradiction between 9 and 2; 9 just clarifies 2. As to 6, you've never been to the moon, so you can't say for sure."
Me: "Scientists have pretty firmly established that the moon is made of rock..."
Mary: "But they don't know if the rock came from the Earth, or from out of space, so it could just as easily be green cheese."
Me: "I'm not really an expert, but I think the theory that the Moon came from the Earth has been discounted. Besides, not knowing where the rock came from doesn't make it cheese."
John: "Aha! You just admitted that scientists make mistakes, but we know Hank is always right!"
Me: "We do?"
Mary: "Of course we do, Item 5 says so."
Me: "You're saying Hank's always right because the list says so, the list is right because Hank dictated it, and we know that Hank dictated it because the list says so. That's circular logic, no different than saying 'Hank's right because he says he's right.'"
John: "Now you're getting it! It's so rewarding to see someone come around to Hank's way of thinking."
Me: "But...oh, never mind. What's the deal with wieners?"
Mary blushes. John says: "Wieners, in buns, no condiments. It's Hank's way. Anything else is wrong."
Me: "What if I don't have a bun?"
John: "No bun, no wiener. A wiener without a bun is wrong."
Me: "No relish? No Mustard?"
Mary looks positively stricken. John shouts: "There's no need for such language! Condiments of any kind are wrong!"
Me: "So a big pile of sauerkraut with some wieners chopped up in it would be out of the question?"
Mary sticks her fingers in her ears: "I am not listening to this. La la la, la la, la la la."
John: "That's disgusting. Only some sort of evil deviant would eat that..."
Me: "It's good! I eat it all the time."
Mary faints. John catches her: "Well, if I'd known you where one of those I wouldn't have wasted my time. When Hank kicks the shiat out of you I'll be there, counting my money and laughing. I'll kiss Hank's ass for you, you bunless cut-wienered kraut-eater."
With this, John dragged Mary to their waiting car, and sped off.
--------------------------------------
This morning there was a knock at my door. When I answered the door I found a well groomed, nicely dressed couple.
The man spoke first: "Hi! I'm John, and this is Mary."
Mary: "Hi! We're here to invite you to come kiss Hank's ass with us."
Me: "Pardon me?! What are you talking about? Who's Hank, and why would I want to kiss his ass?"
John: "If you kiss Hank's ass, he'll give you a million dollars; and if you don't, he'll kick the shiat out of you."
Me: "What? Is this some sort of bizarre mob shake-down?"
John: "Hank is a billionaire philanthropist. Hank built this town. Hank owns this town. He can do what ever he wants, and what he wants is to give you a million dollars, but he can't until you kiss his ass."
Me: "That doesn't make any sense. Why..."
Mary: "Who are you to question Hank's gift? Don't you want a million dollars? Isn't it worth a little kiss on the ass?"
Me: "Well maybe, if it's legit, but..."
John: "Then come kiss Hank's ass with us."
Me: "Do you kiss Hank's ass often?"
Mary: "Oh yes, all the time..."
Me: "And has he given you a million dollars?"
John: "Well no, you don't actually get the money until you leave town."
Me: "So why don't you just leave town now?"
Mary: "You can't leave until Hank tells you to, or you don't get the money, and he kicks the shiat out of you."
Me: "Do you know anyone who kissed Hank's ass, left town, and got the million dollars?"
John: "My mother kissed Hank's ass for years. She left town last year, and I'm sure she got the money."
Me: "Haven't you talked to her since then?"
John: "Of course not, Hank doesn't allow it."
Me: "So what makes you think he'll actually give you the money if you've never talked to anyone who got the money?"
Mary: "Well, he gives you a little bit before you leave. Maybe you'll get a raise; maybe you'll win a small lotto; maybe you'll just find a twenty dollar bill on the street."
Me: "What's that got to do with Hank?"
John: "Hank has certain connections."
Me: "I'm sorry, but this sounds like some sort of bizarre con game."
John: "But it's a million dollars, can you really take the chance? And remember, if you don't kiss Hank's ass he'll kick the shiat of you."
Me: "Maybe if I could see Hank, talk to him, get the details straight from him..."
Mary: "No one sees Hank, no one talks to Hank."
Me: "Then how do you kiss his ass?"
John: "Sometimes we just blow him a kiss, and think of his ass. Other times we kiss Karl's ass, and he passes it on."
Me: "Who's Karl?"
Mary: "A friend of ours. He's the one who taught us all about kissing Hank's ass. All we had to do was take him out to dinner a few times."
Me: "And you just took his word for it when he said there was a Hank, that Hank wanted you to kiss his ass, and that Hank would reward you?"
John: "Oh no! Karl's got a letter Hank sent him years ago explaining the whole thing. Here's a copy; see for yourself."
John handed me a photocopy of a handwritten memo on "From the desk of Karl" letterhead. There were eleven items listed:
1. Kiss Hank's ass and he'll give you a million dollars when you leave town.
2. Use alcohol in moderation.
3. Kick the shiat out of people who aren't like you.
4. Eat right.
5. Hank dictated this list himself.
6. The moon is made of green cheese.
7. Everything Hank says is right.
8. Wash your hands after going to the bathroom.
9. Don't drink.
10. Eat your wieners on buns, no condiments.
11. Kiss Hank's ass or he'll kick the shiat out of you.
Me: "This would appear to be written on Karl's letterhead."
Mary: "Hank didn't have any paper."
Me: "I have a hunch that if we checked we'd find this is Karl's handwriting."
John: "Of course, Hank dictated it."
Me: "I thought you said no one gets to see Hank?"
Mary: "Not now, but years ago he would talk to some people."
Me: "I thought you said he was a philanthropist. What sort of philanthropist kicks the shiat out of people just because they're different?"
Mary: "It's what Hank wants, and Hank's always right."
Me: "How do you figure that?"
Mary: "Item 7 says Everything Hanks says is right.' That's good enough for me!"
Me: "Maybe your friend Karl just made the whole thing up."
John: "No way! Item 5 says 'Hank dictated this list himself.' Besides, item 2 says 'Use alcohol in moderation,' item 4 says 'Eat right,' and item 8 says 'Wash your hands after going to the bathroom.' Everyone knows those things are right, so the rest must be true, too."
Me: "But #9 says 'Don't Drink,' which doesn't quite go with #2. And #6 says 'The moon is made of green cheese,' which is just plain wrong."
John: "There's no contradiction between 9 and 2; 9 just clarifies 2. As to 6, you've never been to the moon, so you can't say for sure."
Me: "Scientists have pretty firmly established that the moon is made of rock..."
Mary: "But they don't know if the rock came from the Earth, or from out of space, so it could just as easily be green cheese."
Me: "I'm not really an expert, but I think the theory that the Moon came from the Earth has been discounted. Besides, not knowing where the rock came from doesn't make it cheese."
John: "Aha! You just admitted that scientists make mistakes, but we know Hank is always right!"
Me: "We do?"
Mary: "Of course we do, Item 5 says so."
Me: "You're saying Hank's always right because the list says so, the list is right because Hank dictated it, and we know that Hank dictated it because the list says so. That's circular logic, no different than saying 'Hank's right because he says he's right.'"
John: "Now you're getting it! It's so rewarding to see someone come around to Hank's way of thinking."
Me: "But...oh, never mind. What's the deal with wieners?"
Mary blushes. John says: "Wieners, in buns, no condiments. It's Hank's way. Anything else is wrong."
Me: "What if I don't have a bun?"
John: "No bun, no wiener. A wiener without a bun is wrong."
Me: "No relish? No Mustard?"
Mary looks positively stricken. John shouts: "There's no need for such language! Condiments of any kind are wrong!"
Me: "So a big pile of sauerkraut with some wieners chopped up in it would be out of the question?"
Mary sticks her fingers in her ears: "I am not listening to this. La la la, la la, la la la."
John: "That's disgusting. Only some sort of evil deviant would eat that..."
Me: "It's good! I eat it all the time."
Mary faints. John catches her: "Well, if I'd known you where one of those I wouldn't have wasted my time. When Hank kicks the shiat out of you I'll be there, counting my money and laughing. I'll kiss Hank's ass for you, you bunless cut-wienered kraut-eater."
With this, John dragged Mary to their waiting car, and sped off.
Mercutio
Fatwah on Western Digital
Anyone seen Buck lately?
mubs
Storage? I am Storage!
I've been wondering the last few days as well.
timwhit
Hairy Aussie
Probably on a camping trip or something.
CougTek
Hairy Aussie
Maybe he refused to kiss Hank's ass?
Corvair
Learning Storage Performance
CougTek said:
Coug... You wouldn't believe how this statement translates into English.
ddrueding
Fixture
Just bought plane tickets to fly to China next month with my new girlfriend. Been about 5 years since my last vacation.
Mercutio
Fatwah on Western Digital
Here he goes again...
Mercutio
Fatwah on Western Digital
Can you fed-ex me one of the ones you're done with?
Mercutio
Fatwah on Western Digital
ddrueding said:
Damn, I have seen Anchorman too many times.
Oh well, now I have started and I must continue, for this thread is "Something Random" and David reminds me of Ladies' man Brian Fantana.
Brian Fantana: Time to musk up.
Ron Burgundy: What cologne are you going to go with? London Gentleman? Black Beard's Delight?
Brian Fantana: No, she gets the special cologne. Sex Panther, made by Odeon. It's illegal in nine countries. It contains real panther bits, so you know it's good.
Ron Burgundy: It's quite pungent. It's a formidable scent.
Brian Fantana: [holding the bottle of Sex Panther] They've done studies you know- 60% of the time, it works every time.
And most especially, there is this exchange...
Brian Fantana: I think I was in love once.
Ron Burgundy: Really? What was her name?
Brian Fantana: I don't remember.
Ron Burgundy: That's not a good start, but keep going...
Brian Fantana: She was Brazilian, or Chinese, or something weird. I met her in the bathroom of a K-Mart and we made out for hours. Then we parted ways, never to see each other again.
Ron Burgundy: I'm pretty sure that's not love.
Brian Fantana: Damn it!
mubs
Storage? I am Storage!
:frowner: :eekers: :erm:
CougTek
Hairy Aussie
I've been searching, but no. The foreigner has no idea. Explanation?Corvair said:
Tannin
Storage? I am Storage!
Actually, I was thinking it was in poor taste - the original remark, I mean. But no matter, Buck is big enough and ugly enough to deal with it, methinks.
Mercutio
Fatwah on Western Digital
www.tnt-audio.com/ampli/t-amp_e.html+&hl=en]Whack-ass Audiophiles auto-fellate over a $30 digital amplifier.[/url]
I bought the last two that were available on Amazon yesterday.
I plan to give one to my brother, whose audio room uses $10,000 mono amps on every channel.
For you guys who have a decent sound card - a Via Envy or maybe something north of an SBLive, these things let you plug full-range standalone (i.e. not computer) speakers and apparently get something pretty close to a true audiophile experience. That in and of itself might be worth $30. They also do a fair job of making an ipod suck less.
I bought the last two that were available on Amazon yesterday.
I plan to give one to my brother, whose audio room uses $10,000 mono amps on every channel.
For you guys who have a decent sound card - a Via Envy or maybe something north of an SBLive, these things let you plug full-range standalone (i.e. not computer) speakers and apparently get something pretty close to a true audiophile experience. That in and of itself might be worth $30. They also do a fair job of making an ipod suck less.
Mercutio
Fatwah on Western Digital
Can't stop the signal.
Go now. This means you. See it many times so that many sequels are made.
Now!
Why are you still reading?
Now dammit.
Go now. This means you. See it many times so that many sequels are made.
Now!
Why are you still reading?
Now dammit.
CougTek
Hairy Aussie
You can't tell me that this "Serenity", that looks like a parody of a sci-fi B class movie, is actually worth viewing? I haven't seen it, but the teaser looks so bad to me that I can't believe it's even remotely entertaining.
I mean, how can a movie featuring a 5'2", 100lbs, baby-faced woman acting like a super-warrior be good? I know it's science-fiction, but but there's a line between fiction and ridicule and from the teaser I've seen, this "movie" crosses it.
Really?
I mean, how can a movie featuring a 5'2", 100lbs, baby-faced woman acting like a super-warrior be good? I know it's science-fiction, but but there's a line between fiction and ridicule and from the teaser I've seen, this "movie" crosses it.
Really?
Mercutio
Fatwah on Western Digital
Coug, it's the best movie I've seen this year. Better than Sin City (you'd really, really like Sin City). Better than Star Wars.
Let me back that up a little bit: Serenity is based on a TV show called Firefly that was cancelled WAY before its prime. It was broadcast out of sequence, and I think that of the 10 episodes that aired, only 4 aired at the appointed day and time they were supposed to (and still out of order, at that).
The man who created Serenity/Firefly is Joss Whedon, who also created the very silly-sounding but ultimately sublime "Buffy the Vampire Slayer", which may just be the greatest television series of all time (I'm not the only person who thinks that - there are people who are paid to review TV shows who also feel that way).
Firefly is not silly. Firefly is.... the anti-Star Trek. The gross simplification is it's the Old American West set in Outer Space, but that's just surface stuff. There's dirt and horses and cattle and spaceships held together with baling wire. People curse in Chinese and there are villains so disgustingly awful they make Darth Vader look like Elmer Fudd. Mr. Whedon's power is to draw absolutely perfect characters, and to find wonderful actors to play them. His dialogue is witty, sharp and inspiring when it needs to be.
When I got the Firefly DVDs, I watched the first one (having never seen the show at all prior to that) thinking I'd just watch one episode, the off to bed. I watched all fourteen back to back to back. On a Tuesday night. And then I got pissed off because there wasn't anything more to watch.
So let me put my money where my mouth is: Anyone wants to watch Fireffly, PM me. I'll send out copies. I'll buy legitimate boxed sets. I'll mail them to Oz or Finland or Quebec. Whatever. I'll give you links to torrents. Whatever makes you happy, as long as you watch. I believe Firefly and Serenity are that good.
Let me back that up a little bit: Serenity is based on a TV show called Firefly that was cancelled WAY before its prime. It was broadcast out of sequence, and I think that of the 10 episodes that aired, only 4 aired at the appointed day and time they were supposed to (and still out of order, at that).
The man who created Serenity/Firefly is Joss Whedon, who also created the very silly-sounding but ultimately sublime "Buffy the Vampire Slayer", which may just be the greatest television series of all time (I'm not the only person who thinks that - there are people who are paid to review TV shows who also feel that way).
Firefly is not silly. Firefly is.... the anti-Star Trek. The gross simplification is it's the Old American West set in Outer Space, but that's just surface stuff. There's dirt and horses and cattle and spaceships held together with baling wire. People curse in Chinese and there are villains so disgustingly awful they make Darth Vader look like Elmer Fudd. Mr. Whedon's power is to draw absolutely perfect characters, and to find wonderful actors to play them. His dialogue is witty, sharp and inspiring when it needs to be.
When I got the Firefly DVDs, I watched the first one (having never seen the show at all prior to that) thinking I'd just watch one episode, the off to bed. I watched all fourteen back to back to back. On a Tuesday night. And then I got pissed off because there wasn't anything more to watch.
So let me put my money where my mouth is: Anyone wants to watch Fireffly, PM me. I'll send out copies. I'll buy legitimate boxed sets. I'll mail them to Oz or Finland or Quebec. Whatever. I'll give you links to torrents. Whatever makes you happy, as long as you watch. I believe Firefly and Serenity are that good.
Mercutio
Fatwah on Western Digital
THere's more to appreciate if you do.
ddrueding
Fixture
I just took a friend out to dinner last night to a place in Carmel-by-the-Sea called Cassanova. Really good food, but the wine tb alone went over $200. The meal was closer to $500. Oh, well, she's a good friend.
Hmmm. I must have different tastes. Firefly was pretty much crap. The premise was good, but the writing and acting were mediocre. I guess it appeals to those who like all the low-budget stuff on the Sci-Fi channel for example. Maybe the film will be a cult classic, but I'll wait until it is on cable to risk five minutes of my time.
Pradeep
Storage? I am Storage!
I don't know if anyone watches "The Office" on NBC. I pissed my self laughing last week (the sexual harassment episode).
Mercutio
Fatwah on Western Digital
LunarMist said:
Lunar, as the first person I've met who dislikes Firefly, might I ask what you think is good and well-written entertainment?
Tannin
Storage? I am Storage!
For me, that's exactly it: written entertainment. I don't have a VCR, nor a DVD player, and barring a few isolated instances each year, don't watch television. Life is too short to waste great scads of it watching movies on TV.
Mercutio
Fatwah on Western Digital
Tannin, this is something for which you might actually make an exception.
I certainly don't come home and plop down in front of a TV (stereo yes, TV no)
But I'm not going to say that I don't love movies or some TV shows. There's some really great stuff out there. Things that are worth your time.
I certainly don't come home and plop down in front of a TV (stereo yes, TV no)
But I'm not going to say that I don't love movies or some TV shows. There's some really great stuff out there. Things that are worth your time.
Tannin
Storage? I am Storage!
Fair enough, Merc. I do make exceptions from time to time, and your recommendations carry a lot of weight with me. (Except, of course, when it comes to video cards!)
Mercutio
Fatwah on Western Digital
I don't know how you stand those poxy overheating things!
mubs
Storage? I am Storage!
Going off on a tangent a bit: this flash thingie hit home for me, what with the Patriot Act, TSA, RFID, and big-brother and big-business in cahoots. I'm not into conspiracies, but there has been a gradual erosion of privacy over time on one pretext or another. Turn on the sound; that's where the punch is.
timwhit
Hairy Aussie
I'm downloading the show and I will watch that. By the time I have watched all of the episodes the movie will probably be out on DVD so I will acquire and watch it.
timwhit
Hairy Aussie
Mercutio said:www.tnt-audio.com/ampli/t-amp_e.html+&hl=en]Whack-ass Audiophiles auto-fellate over a $30 digital amplifier.[/url]
I bought the last two that were available on Amazon yesterday.
I plan to give one to my brother, whose audio room uses $10,000 mono amps on every channel.
For you guys who have a decent sound card - a Via Envy or maybe something north of an SBLive, these things let you plug full-range standalone (i.e. not computer) speakers and apparently get something pretty close to a true audiophile experience. That in and of itself might be worth $30. They also do a fair job of making an ipod suck less.
This amplifier interests me. Do you think it could power these speakers? http://www.smr-home-theatre.org/Reviews/NHT/
They are pretty large and work well with powerful amplifiers, which I cannot afford.
Have you received yours yet?
timwhit
Hairy Aussie
It would be nice if there were a mod so that the T-Amp could accept an optical TOSLINK cable.
Mercutio
Fatwah on Western Digital
timwhit, that Amp would probably drive those speakers pretty well, at least at modest volumes. But it needs an AC power adaptor. I'm not sure quite where to find one.
I haven't gotten mine yet.
I'm really interested in Gary H.'s thoughts on something like this.
I haven't gotten mine yet.
I'm really interested in Gary H.'s thoughts on something like this.
time
Storage? I am Storage!
Recommended Amp Power: 35W/ch minimum, 200W/ch maximumtimwhit said:
Sensitivity 86dB (2.83V at 1M)
It will power them, but relatively quietly.
To be precise, 15db quieter than their designed maximum. To the human ear, roughly a third of the volume.Any fool can build a good low power amplifier, the trick is to build a good one that's actually useful.
time
Storage? I am Storage!
ddrueding said:
For those eagerly following the exploits of our hero as he masters the art of wooing, here is the said restaurant's web site:
http://www.casanovarestaurant.com/
You need sound and Flash to hear the background music.