Mercutio
Fatwah on Western Digital
My boss brings me her notebook this morning.
She says "I can't get itunes to work"
I try to run itunes. Version 6, the one that came out maybe a month ago with the video support.
I double-click on iTunes. The computer goes "ding". itunes does not start.
I think "Oh well, I will uninstall and reinstall it."
Except it's not in Add/Remove programs.
Hit the program files folder. Yup. It's there.
Try to start from the .exe instead of a shortcut. Nope. Computer goes "ding". What does "ding" mean?
Download an updated installer, fresh from the web site.
The installer gives me the option to remove itunes or repair it. I try both. In either case I get "error 1605", which a quick google tells me is an InstallShield error. I'm told to upgrade my installshield engine and use a "Windows Installer Cleanup Tool". itunes doesn't show on the list of things I can clean up. Quicktime and the ipod service do. I go ahead and remove those.
OK. Fine. Done.
The computer goes "ding" and I *still* get error 1605 when I try to reinstall.
So I hit Apple's support pages for itunes. There are eight or nine suggestions there that seem like they might be related, but most of them lead back to the Installshield support site.
I try all those things. The computer still goes "ding" and I *still* get error 1605.
I run an SFC on the machine. The computer goes "ding" the next time I try to start itunes.
Finally, against all hope, I call Apple. Maybe there's something they haven't published, or maybe this is a new issue.
Apple won't talk to me until I find the serial number for a new ipod or I cough up $50. What the ipod has to do with an itunes problem, I don't know.
Fortunately, one of the women I work with has a new ipod. Good thing. Apple won't talk to you unless you've purchased their hardware.
I calmly explain to the apple tech (LeeAnn, if anyone wants to know), what I have done prior to my call. LeeAnn identifies herself as a *windows support specialist*.
I ask her if she knows what "ding" means, or if there's some support information other than that available on Apple's web site for this problem.
LeeAnn asks me to repeat the things I did. This takes me about five minutes. I reference Apple's support pages, as I can read them off the firefox tabs in front of me. At the end of everything, LeeAnn says "I need to check on this. Can you hold?"
LeeAnn is gone just under five minutes. When she picks back up, she starts reading verbatim off one of those support web pages. I say "I have already done the the steps on that page." She starts in on another page, that I have also read. This time, I just start reading ahead of her, for she is pissing me off. I say "Is there any additional support information that you can provide me, other than the information that I already got off your web site?"
She says "Not for this issue. Have you contacted your computer manufacturer?"
I say "This is not an issue for my computer manufacturer, this is an issue with Apple's software on a Windows computer."
She says "Well have you contacted Microsoft?"
I think this very well might've been the point where I snapped.
I say "No. This is a problem with the functionality of *APPLE'S* software. Windows is otherwise behaving normally. I ran a program to verify that." (Furthermore, I know Windows installer was working, as I installed my bundle o' antispyware apps from an .msi file earlier that morning while I was troubleshooting).
She says "What program is that?"
I say "SFC"
She says "I thought that sounded funny. It might've messed up our software."
I said "Do you know what it is?"
She said "No."
I said "Can you do anything but read off your support web pages?"
She said "I am not trained to support beyond what's on our support site." In other words, Apple's PAID SUPPORT REPS do NOTHING but read off their web site.
I say "Is there someone else to whom this problem can be escalated?"
She says "I guess you could contact the Music Store Support." To my knowledge, no one has used the music store on the computer in quesiton, and the support THERE seems to deal with download and credit card issues.
I say "But there's no tier 2?"
She says "No."
I say "What if I just want to remove itunes? Can you help with that?"
She starts telling me how to get to control panel, to Add/Remove programs.
I say "No. We've talked about that already. That doesn't work. Are there manual removal instructions?"
She pauses and says "No... is there anything else I can help you with?"
I say "Can you tell me why your program goes DING and doesn't start?"
She says "I don't know why it would do that... but I can e-mail you a list of common iTunes problems."
I say "What if I chose a for-pay support option?"
She says "So you don't want our list of common itunes problems?"
I say "No, I already saw that list. It's on your web site."
Seriously, this was like talking to a fencepost with a southern accent.
In conclusion: iTunes as an application does not use standard windows UI elements or behaviors. itunes inclues DRM. iTunes can't handle access for two different music collections without a 3rd party application. Apple essentially doesn't support it, but blames your problems on Windows.
And this is the fucking future of music.
She says "I can't get itunes to work"
I try to run itunes. Version 6, the one that came out maybe a month ago with the video support.
I double-click on iTunes. The computer goes "ding". itunes does not start.
I think "Oh well, I will uninstall and reinstall it."
Except it's not in Add/Remove programs.
Hit the program files folder. Yup. It's there.
Try to start from the .exe instead of a shortcut. Nope. Computer goes "ding". What does "ding" mean?
Download an updated installer, fresh from the web site.
The installer gives me the option to remove itunes or repair it. I try both. In either case I get "error 1605", which a quick google tells me is an InstallShield error. I'm told to upgrade my installshield engine and use a "Windows Installer Cleanup Tool". itunes doesn't show on the list of things I can clean up. Quicktime and the ipod service do. I go ahead and remove those.
OK. Fine. Done.
The computer goes "ding" and I *still* get error 1605 when I try to reinstall.
So I hit Apple's support pages for itunes. There are eight or nine suggestions there that seem like they might be related, but most of them lead back to the Installshield support site.
I try all those things. The computer still goes "ding" and I *still* get error 1605.
I run an SFC on the machine. The computer goes "ding" the next time I try to start itunes.
Finally, against all hope, I call Apple. Maybe there's something they haven't published, or maybe this is a new issue.
Apple won't talk to me until I find the serial number for a new ipod or I cough up $50. What the ipod has to do with an itunes problem, I don't know.
Fortunately, one of the women I work with has a new ipod. Good thing. Apple won't talk to you unless you've purchased their hardware.
I calmly explain to the apple tech (LeeAnn, if anyone wants to know), what I have done prior to my call. LeeAnn identifies herself as a *windows support specialist*.
I ask her if she knows what "ding" means, or if there's some support information other than that available on Apple's web site for this problem.
LeeAnn asks me to repeat the things I did. This takes me about five minutes. I reference Apple's support pages, as I can read them off the firefox tabs in front of me. At the end of everything, LeeAnn says "I need to check on this. Can you hold?"
LeeAnn is gone just under five minutes. When she picks back up, she starts reading verbatim off one of those support web pages. I say "I have already done the the steps on that page." She starts in on another page, that I have also read. This time, I just start reading ahead of her, for she is pissing me off. I say "Is there any additional support information that you can provide me, other than the information that I already got off your web site?"
She says "Not for this issue. Have you contacted your computer manufacturer?"
I say "This is not an issue for my computer manufacturer, this is an issue with Apple's software on a Windows computer."
She says "Well have you contacted Microsoft?"
I think this very well might've been the point where I snapped.
I say "No. This is a problem with the functionality of *APPLE'S* software. Windows is otherwise behaving normally. I ran a program to verify that." (Furthermore, I know Windows installer was working, as I installed my bundle o' antispyware apps from an .msi file earlier that morning while I was troubleshooting).
She says "What program is that?"
I say "SFC"
She says "I thought that sounded funny. It might've messed up our software."
I said "Do you know what it is?"
She said "No."
I said "Can you do anything but read off your support web pages?"
She said "I am not trained to support beyond what's on our support site." In other words, Apple's PAID SUPPORT REPS do NOTHING but read off their web site.
I say "Is there someone else to whom this problem can be escalated?"
She says "I guess you could contact the Music Store Support." To my knowledge, no one has used the music store on the computer in quesiton, and the support THERE seems to deal with download and credit card issues.
I say "But there's no tier 2?"
She says "No."
I say "What if I just want to remove itunes? Can you help with that?"
She starts telling me how to get to control panel, to Add/Remove programs.
I say "No. We've talked about that already. That doesn't work. Are there manual removal instructions?"
She pauses and says "No... is there anything else I can help you with?"
I say "Can you tell me why your program goes DING and doesn't start?"
She says "I don't know why it would do that... but I can e-mail you a list of common iTunes problems."
I say "What if I chose a for-pay support option?"
She says "So you don't want our list of common itunes problems?"
I say "No, I already saw that list. It's on your web site."
Seriously, this was like talking to a fencepost with a southern accent.
In conclusion: iTunes as an application does not use standard windows UI elements or behaviors. itunes inclues DRM. iTunes can't handle access for two different music collections without a 3rd party application. Apple essentially doesn't support it, but blames your problems on Windows.
And this is the fucking future of music.