Favorite Quotes

[ddrueding]

Unfortunate sideffect of viagra: your wife's headaches will return.

 

[ddrueding]

Why is Santa so Jolly? Becuase he knows where the bad girls live. :mrgrn:

 

[sechs]

Procrastination is like masturbation. No matter which way you look at
it you're only screwing yourself.
-- Dan Isaacs

 

[Howell]

This is the true joy of life: the being used up for a purpose recognized by yourself as a mighty one; being a force of nature instead of a feverish, selfish little clot of ailments and grievances, complaining that the world will not devote itself to making you happy. - George Bernard Shaw

 

[sechs]

"Caffiene-free Diet Dew is like people who enjoy wearing a condom but
hate having sex."
--Trevor Schadt

 

[OT: Polizei]

Soll ich vergleichen einem Sommertage
dich, der du lieblicher und milder bist?
Des Maien teure Knospen drehn im Schlage
des Sturms, und allzukurz ist Sommers Frist.

-Stefan George

 

[sechs]

Too many people learn about the Windows 95 API the way they learned about
sex -- either from their friends or by piecing together veiled references
in books and magazines.
-- Christine Solomon

 

[ddrueding]

Soll ich vergleichen einem Sommertage
dich, der du lieblicher und milder bist?
Des Maien teure Knospen drehn im Schlage
des Sturms, und allzukurz ist Sommers Frist.

-Stefan George

No crappy poetry, please

 

[tealeaf]

In the event of a nuclear attack, wait for the all-clear siren.

 

[Mercutio]

Shakespeare, I think.
Hardly crap, in my opinion.

 

[Buck]

Shakespeare, I think.
Hardly crap, in my opinion.

Indeed it is Merc, the OT: Polizei thinks that it is best read in its original German.

 

[Mercutio]

No Schiller? No Goethe?

I remember taking a German lit class in college. Reading in original German works like this: Before attempting to read a page of text for comprehension, scan the whole thing until you find the verb.

The one verb. On the whole page.

Then you highlight it with a marker or write it at the bottom of the page.

It drove me to distraction.

Needless to say, I don't remember German very well, even though I had three years of it in college.

 

[timwhit]

I had three semesters and that was only a year ago, and I can hardly remember any of it. German really isn't my forte though.

 

[Buck]

The worst part is reading old German characters. There style of writing can be confusing, the "f" and "s" almost identical or "ss" as its single character version almost looks like an upper case "b". I'll stick with English for now, as it seems to kauze me enuf problemz.

 

[Howell]

The worst part is reading old German characters. There style of writing can be confusing, the "f" and "s" almost identical or "ss" as its single character version almost looks like an upper case "b". I'll stick with English for now, as it seems to kauze me enuf problemz.

Old german? That's what I learned to read. We called the written german double-s, "ess-tset". Of course pronouncing it as double-ss.

 

[Buck]

Old German, as in the font. Check this site out. Look at the lowercase "f" and the first lowercase "s". The slight difference is the cross in the "f". That is what I meant.

 

[sechs]

German? Try reading Middle English or Anglo Saxon.

Aloud.

 

[Tea]

I didn't know that Shakespeare was German.

 

[ddrueding]

Sorry, the germain tainted my opinion. I took 2 years of it in HS while I was dating a German Au Pair. The only thing I really remember is something along the lines of "It's been too long, come to my house" :mrgrn:

 

[Mercutio]

David, comments like that make me think you're pretty much the exact opposite of me in every possible way.

 

[Buck]

I didn't know that Shakespeare was German.

Neither did he.

 

[Santilli]

Merc:
We are in the perversion capital of the world, or very close. If you want to really deal with all kinds of weird stuff, come to SF.

I understand that you had a really bad experience. Come to SF, and your really bad experience becomes normal, and deal.

I can remember riding bart, to go to the SFDA's office, and looking at this tall, totally beautiful girl, with HUGE breasts. It turned out, upon closer inspection, that she was clearly a shemale.

In a city that pays for such operations, this is probably NOT a big deal to the average SF resident.

I live in a conservative area, and, running around with a 6 foot, amazon, shemale would NOT be social proper etiquette.

The sick part was, on a 1-10 scale, she was at least a 9, until you heard the deep voice, and realized the situation...

I could tell you about my SF hospital experiences, but, I don't really want to discuss sexual abuse, that occured 35 years ago, in public, even if, it did not reflect on me in a bad way.

s

 

[Tannin]

Poor Tea. She has gone off to climb a tree and recover from a certain amount of shock. She's been coming here to SF for quite a while - grew up in the place, actually - and never before has she heard it called the perversion capital of the world or read if you want to really deal with all kinds of weird stuff, come to SF.

What is this place coming to, she wondered, when kind old Uncle Greg would write come to SF and your really bad experience becomes normal?

It was only when she got to the bit about the totally beautiful girl with huge breasts that she started to wonder. Was Uncle Santilli smoking too much hooch? Or drinking bad home brew? Or maybe she had misunderstood what he meant by "SF"?

I explained about a place called San Franscisco, over the water, near the place where she went to Fusigi's wedding, but she still looked a little confused.

Maybe it's time she gave up the food-free diet. I think she's getting a bit light-headed lately.

 

[ddrueding]

Nah, we all know the best hooch is in Vancoover, British Columbia

And I don't thing Greg has been there for a while...too busy chasing skirts.

Just remember Greg, it's OK to do the grope check BEFORE picking up the tab...

 

[sechs]

"This whole recompiling thing is a little less pleasant than
licking a razor blade."
--Jesse Hughes

 

[Santilli]

Brings back a couple Crocodile Dundee parodies, but, that's pretty close to the truth, except this guy girl was REALLY pretty...

On top of being the perversion capital of the world, for a straight male, it offers a pretty good situation, but, not nearly like San Diego, or LA.

LA is truly sick.

Briefly, I was in a hospital in about 1973, in San Francisco, for back surgery, and some gay nurse guy hit on me.

I later ended up with this absolute, unbelievable, brick house, black nurse. NOT a guy, in her Oakland apartment, after the surgery.

She said she "waited" to see if I was gay...

I guess, in retrospect, being groped while in the hospital, and telling the guy to get the heck away from me, was worth getting her panties off.

It WAS REALLY worth it....

And, the line from Sean Connery, in Never Say Never Again,

"There are better therapies for a man's lower back."

Proved to be really true. Wow, what a memory...
s

 

[Tea]

Dear Mr Webmaster,

I was wondering why there is a little puddle at the bottom of this page. None of the other pages seem to have one.

Thankyou for your reply,

Small Curious One

 

[sechs]

"Virginity, Duct Tape, and Your Future"
--Section title from an abstinance pamphlet

 

[Mercutio]

Honestly, Greg, the "alternative lifestyle" folks that I've known have been smarter and a lot more interesting to talk to than the whitebread suburbanites and rednecks in my part of the world. I'd 10x rather hang out with a bunch of LGBTGTS-types than the kind of people I meet in *my* day-to-day life.

Of course, that's assuming that I wanted to hang out with anyone to begin with.

 

[Mercutio]

You are a splendid butterfly
It is your wings that make you beautiful
And I could make you fly away
But I could never make you stay
You said you were in love with me
Both of us know that that's impossible
And I could make you rue the day
But I could never make you stay

Not for all the tea in China
Not if I could sing like a bird
Not for all North Carolina
Not for all my little words
Not if I could write for you
The sweetest song you ever heard
It doesn't matter what I'll do
Not for all my little words

Now that you've made me want to die
You tell me that you're unboyfriendable
And I could make you pay and pay
But I could never make you stay

--the Magnetic Fields
--
How completely true.

 

[sechs]

Before you criticize someone, walk a mile in his shoes. That way, if he
gets angry, he'll be a mile away--and barefoot.
--Sarah Jackson

 

[tealeaf]

German? Try reading Middle English or Anglo Saxon.

Aloud.

Just to make things even more interesting, the Saxons were from Saxony in what is known as Germany today. Old English ain't what it used to be. What did it used to be? (he asked)

 

[Buck]

German.

 

[sechs]

Just to make things even more interesting, the Saxons were from Saxony in what is known as Germany today. Old English ain't what it used to be. What did it used to be? (he asked)

Anglo Saxon is, in fact, a lot closer to Dutch or Flemish than German (or than I'd prefer, for that matter, those damn Angles). The closest living Germanic language to modern English is Frisian, which is distinctly not modern German. Most native speakers of English can understand, to a very large degree, spoken Frisian. They think the person is an idiot, but they can figure it out.

In my opinion, Modern English is a lot closer to Norse or French than to German.

 

[sechs]

>"The existence of God has the same probability as there being a
> bunch of pink elephants dancing behind my head right now."

Statistically this doesn't work. Folow this similar example. Next
Tuesday there are two possibilities: it might rain or it might not.
Does this mean that there is a 50% chance of rain next Tuesday
because there are only two options? No. Likewise, just because
there are assumed to be two options, God exists or god doesn't exist,
doesn't correlate between the two options, pink elephants exist or
pink elephants don't exist (much less behind your head right now).

In fact, from my calculations, I have come up with a 17% chance that
God reall does exist and actually less than a 2% chance that your pink
elephants exist (sorry!). Unfortunately, within the subset of that
17% of God existing, there is a 42% chance that God is a glazed ham
getting molested right now by this guy in New York City who has a food
fetish. For those of us who attend church regularly, this news is
obviously quite distressing.
-- insickness@aol.com

 

[sechs]

"He was one of those people that I wouldn't call merely bisexual,
but rather, indiscriminate."
--Todd Zimnoch, of an aquaintance

 

[sechs]

Student: "There was a boy in my high school who's parents gave him
a sex change for graduation" [it was something the kid wanted]
Prof. Straub: "Sure is better than a typewriter."

 

[sechs]

"Science cannot stop while ethics catches up -- and nobody should expect scientists to do all the thinking for the country."
-- Elvin Stackman

 

[sechs]

"It was warm in there. So sue me."
--Van Butler, on being born a month late

 

[sechs]

If you define "millennium" in terms of the currently-used calendar
and mathematics, the next millennium starts in 2001. If you define
"millennium" in terms of popular opinion -- which is equally valid,
since it's not uncommon in English for words to have more than one
meaning -- then the next millennium probably starts in the year
2000. And if you define "millennium" in terms of famous fictional
spacecraft, it's a falcon.
-- William December Starr