Autumn in temperate Australia ........
Umm, which part of the country are you in?
Temperate Australia is the bit south of ... oh, definitions vary, but let's say south of Grafton, round about. It's easy to find, Chewy.
Get up early and stand outside your front door. Face east. (that's the side the sun comes up on).
Turn 90 degrees to your right (that's the other side, not the side you wear your watch on).
Start walking. (Or run, if you prefer.)
When you notice lots of skyscrapers and lots of people all driving round in a big hurry wearing casual clothes and looking as though they don't understand why they are not having fun, that's the Gold Coast. Keep walking.
If you have wet feet and the water tastes salty, you are in the sea. Veer right a bit.
If you see a camel, you are near the Simpson Desert, veer left a bit.
When you notice the roads have improved a bit, that's New South Wales. Keep walking.
When you notice that everything is very green, that's New England, the only part of NSW that isn't in drought. If you like, you can stop here, as although it's not very far south, it's quite high and thus coolish, so you could cheat and define it as "temperate" if you wanted to. Me, I'd draw the line a little further south, so keep walking.
When you notice that everything is very brown and all the grass is dead and the sheep are starving, you are somewhere in the rest of NSW, or possibly Victoria. You are now lost. You are probably somewhere in temperate Australia, but seeing as you don't know where you are anymore, you might as well keep walking.
When the trees all disappear and there is grass and saltbush as far as you can see, you are probably somewhere near Hay or Deniliquin. There is nothing for you to see in Hay or Deniliquin except grass and saltbush, but cheer up! At least you know where you are now.
When your feet get wet and muddy, it's a river. Probably the Murrumbidgie, but possibly the Lachlan, the Edward, or the Murray. Keep walking. Swim if necessary. Try not to swallow.
If the roads get quite a lot better on the other side of the river, you are in Victoria. The natives are quite friendly but
do not admit to drinking XXXX! Keep walking. Stop for a rest if you like.
When you see some green grass, that's probably Ballarat. There was a thunderstorm here the other week, so it's not quite as dry as the rest of Victoria and NSW.
When you see a white shop with a red and blue sign, that's Red Hill. Wave! We are probably closed for lunch, but wave anyway.
When you see a small ape with scary orange fur, that's me. Smile, I don't bite. Much.
Don't try to pat me on the head! I have very strong arms and my reflexes are quicker than yours are. If in doubt, offer me a banana. If in lots of doubt, offer me a gin and tonic. If you really, really need a friend, bring the bottle.