How to convey an idea

[Mercutio]

2.) Exercise will give you more energy.

I absolutely do not believe that. I'm prepared to believe that sugar gives a person "more energy", or caffeine, but physical activity has *never* given me any great urge to go do anything else when I am done.

3. May seem like a non-sequitor, but to me it is not. I don't think I've done anything to deserve exercise which, in my mind, equates punishment.

4.) ...But ultimately you have to do it because it would make you happy.

Pretty much nothing makes me happy. That's what being depressed is like.

5.) That's only if you want it to be.

That's what I want. I don't like being around people. I don't like being outside. Books are good. Computers are good. My work represents something to do, a reason to get out of bed. That's why I do it.

6.) Why not at least try it?

I really was not kidding when I said that would rather have body parts removed than exercise. Given that as a starting point, exactly what do you think I'd be motivated to actually try?

 

[Tannin]

I absolutely do not believe that.

You are mistaken in this, my friend. In fact, 100% wrong. Most people know this from their own experience, but even leaving that aside, the medical evidence is perfectly clear and not in the slightest controversial. Exercise is undoubtedly good for depression. It is not an entire cure, of course, things are never that simple, but it is most certainly a part of it. Gentle exercise is quite sufficient to start with: walking is a very good place to start.

 

[Chewy509]

In case anyone missed it... http://arstechnica.com/articles/culture/gettingfit.ars

Getting fit while gaming!

Actually of coincidence, tonight on one of those "Current Affairs" shows, there's a report that the obesity rate among children in Australia will reach 50% by 2010, even though most schools have outlawed fast-food and replaced with healthy alternatives... So instead a child eating a pack of thin chips (or crisps), they'll eat an apple, a banana and an orange... Well guess what, the kids are still getting fat, because they are still eating more calories than required, even though they have switched to 'healthy' foods.

Merc:
http://www8.utsouthwestern.edu/utsw/cda/dept37389/files/203820.html
http://www.betterhealth.vic.gov.au/bhcv2/bhcarticles.nsf/pages/Depression_and_exercise?OpenDocument
http://www.depression-help-for-you.com/exercise-and-depression.html

And I can personally say without a doubt, that my exercise habit has kept me somewhat sane... even though lately it has produced some insanity into my life...

 

[LOST6200]

Mercurio, you should do exerceize whilst at the computer. Maybe yu can buy a perdal powdered generator or something?

An now I am decided to get some of the shit togther after reading this thr4ead. I odreda the exercise machina!

 

[jtr1962]

While I can personally vouch for the fact that exercise increases my energy level, and probably also kept me from committing suicide during the worst period of my life (from about age 19 up to my late 20s), I'll also say that you can lead a horse to water but you can't make him drink. Merc is intelligent enough to be well aware of the downsides to lack of physical activity, and to be honest his point of view even makes sense in a sad sort of way. While everyone may mean well with their advice, I learned the hard way with my late father that often such advice falls on deaf ears. Me and my mom tried for years to get him to eat better, move around more, lose weight, and not aggravate himself over every little thing. It was all for nothing. My father choose for whatever reason to eat himself into an early grave. While I still feel horrible that he's gone, I have no guilt since I at least tried to get him to help himself. And yes, my father exhibited all the symptoms of clinical depression. Whether his health caused his depression, or the depression came first and caused him to not care about himself, I'll never know. Whether he could have done anything about his depression I'll never know, either. I'm a strong person yet it still took me a good ten years to mostly get over the reasons I was depressed. Nothing external has really gotten much better, but my ability to cope with things has. I still have my down periods, but at least they're far less worse than before. And it's been a long while since I even thought of suicide.

 

[Handruin]

I'd like to revise my answer to #1:

1.) Because you have more people that care about you than you realize.

Sure, you're very opinionated and I've yet to ever see you admit when something you said is wrong...but in this case, I truly believe you're wrong.

It certainly isn't an easy path. The energy change I spoke of (and many others have confirmed) will come very gradually. You won't notice a light switch effect (at least I didn’t). But if you give it a decent try and stick with it, you might actually feel better about yourself and life in general. You might actually wake up and feel happy...that IS a reason to live. If you’ve ever felt bored and stumbled around to find something to do…convert that to doing some form of exercise. I know you say it sounds like torture, but if you give a really good honest 30 minutes of exercise, your body will release endorphins and you will honestly feel good afterwards.

I'd say for the last 5+ years I'd been heading down the path of depression. I disliked more and more in the world and I disliked many things about myself. I can't say for certain that it was depression because I'm no clinical expert, but looking back on it I feel it was certainly going down that path. I made a simple goal to improve my life by feel better. To feel better I knew I had to lose some weight. 30 pounds was a start, and it made a considerable difference.

Now I can really see how much less stress it puts on my life in several different ways. I carry a 25-30 lb camera bag when I go hiking and it feels heavy. That bag is a simple reminder that I used to carry that weight everywhere on my body no more than a year ago this month. I've honestly never felt as good as I do right now in my life despite other situations going on.

 

[LunarMist]

OMG, do we need an intervention here?

 

[ddrueding]

OMG, do we need an intervention here?

Can we have it in March? It's cold there now...

 

[Mercutio]

Stay home. Send women.

 

[ddrueding]

Da dorogai

 

[udaman]

Save money, take tour of Asia for 2008 Olympics, suck in smog that will damage your lungs; visit Kobe, Japan...see female owner of 'escort' business...I'm sure we can find some woman to talk to Merc, also dorogoi; but worth it .

Da dorogai

Oh how we miss Prof. Wizzer, he would complain about multiple thread jacks right about now (and over on CPF's where jtr spends some time, i will get banned for pointing out what a hypocrite such individuals are when they get on my case for jacking, as they do exactly the same the protest about...and the mods/Admn's are too busy jacking *** themselves over perceived 'value' of 'popular' members---yeah WR, I'm 'like obsessed with CPF' even though I haven't posted there in 3years now, lol).

Me thinks DD meant dorogoi as in Russian bride/woman, expensive???

http://soleego.com/Relationship_articles/Travel-to-Find-a-Russian-Bride.html

Sorry about that Chewy, I don't have much to say about the OP, other than to say in a slightly tangential reference, you're a whimp

It will take you a while before you'll be able to come close to keeping up with Lokelani

http://outside.away.com/outside/features/200312/200312_xx_11.html

http://www.esquire.com/women/gallery/000801_mww_lokelani_frame.html

After you get up to steam with Lokelani, then maybe you can become a 'real man' like Messner, who climbed from the N. Base camp, 3days alone to reach the summit of the world's tallest mountain without oxygen, braving the 'death zone' all by himself, establishing his own 'new' route...now that's insane! 1st to climb all 14 of the 8km peaks, all done without bottled supplemental oxygen.

http://www.everesthistory.com/climbers/messner.htm


Route maps here:

http://www.k2news.com/everestmaps.htm

Not to argue with everyone, but yes exercise can reduce stress and keep both healthier body & mind. But you can also injure yourself quite easily, more so the older you get. My own experience is that you only get to the higher level of energy after a very lengthy conditioning period.

And the supposed drop in hunger pangs, lol, I eat more food after exercising- exercising does the opposite of suppressing my appetite, it actually increases it, making careful diet the same necessity as if I were not exercising! Unless I'm just completely over exercised to the point that I fall asleep from sheer exhaustion, or lying in bed from the soreness/pain of the exhaustion. It takes alot of time and dedication to lose weight, but then it usually takes just about the same time to gain all those pounds when your're not keeping track of it all.

 

[LOST6200]

Can we have it in March? It's cold there now...

Hey, I have an Idea. Lets all go to Tonys house and do this. I tbhsould be warner down under there.

 

[Chewy509]

Sorry about that Chewy, I don't have much to say about the OP, other than to say in a slightly tangential reference, you're a whimp

In which regard? :twistd:

 

[Tannin]

Hey, I have an Idea. Lets all go to Tonys house and do this. I tbhsould be warner down under there.

OK.

Autumn is often beautiful here. Autumn in temperate Australia is the time when everything starts to come alive: there has been (at last!) a little rain (or used to be, before we f*cked the climate up), the last of the scorching summer days are over, and you know that before too long it wil be cold and miserable. But for the nest month or so, most days will be sunny, perhaps with scattered clouds, and somewhere in the low 20s or perhaps high teens.

So yeah, come on over. Lunar, E_dawg, and Handy, bring your cameras. Chewy, bring your jogging shoes. (I will come with you, as far as the front gate that is, and wave every time you go past). Merc, bring your pr0n collection, and I'll see if we can't scare up some girls. Dave, bring your largest yacht. (I haven't sailed in quite a few years, but the weather will be perfect and I guess I can still remember enough to hold the tiller and point it in the right direction.)

The first beer is on me!

 

[time]

It's not bloody Autumn yet!

 

[Sol]

I can see it now, sunny day, everyone sitting back relaxing, drinking a few beers on the deck of a fabulous yacht... Sitting in the middle of bone dry Wendouree lake, a few cars drive past... Maybe there are some kids playing cricket on the rock hard mud earning dark looks from ddrueding whenever the ball goes near the yacht. A few meters away there is a front end loader dredging out the rowing course on the off chance that the lake ever fills up again....

 

[Tannin]

August 2004.....

November 2006 .....

It dried right up after that, I believe - though I was up north and have not seen it.

Please excuse the heavy shadows in that second shot (which I'm too lazy to post-process out), it was very early in the morning and I was out there looking for this little chap:

 

[Tannin]

The story with the lake, by the way, is a complete disgrace.

Is it dry because of climate change? That's the official story, but it's only half the truth. The remainder of the story is a sorry tale of greed, media manipulation, and public deception.

Lake Wendouree has been filled by both natural runoff and diversion from the Ballarat municipal water supply for many years. (I don't know how long - 80 years maybe.)

A couple of years ago, the authorities unilaterially stopped supplying water to top up Lake Wendouree and, cleverly, didn't actually keep it a secret, they just didn't tell anyone. Why? Because they sold the water to supply new housing estates. Simple, selfish greed at public expense. The lake, remember, isn't just a wonderful local asset which the people of Ballarat have enjoyed for a century now, it is also a huge tourist attraction worth $100 million a year to local businesses, and a very significant wildlife refuge. I have been to pretty much every town or city of any size in the country, and I can assure you that, though there are many nice city lakes, Lake Wendouree is the best city lake in the whole of Australia. Or it was. It has a better range of fauna than any other I know of (and I know most of them) and is home to quite a few rare and threatened species.

So they sold the water, didn't tell anyone, and then coddled up a scheme to put some of the water back and get their pictures in the papers to show what nice blokes they were - but not the fresh water that has traditionally been supplied. No, it's recycled sewage from the North Ballarat Treatment Plant. I'm OK with that part of it: recycled water is just fine, and I wouldn't have a problem drinking it if they put it in a pipe to my house. Nope, the real problem - and the one that they very carefully never mention in public - is that this recycled water is being taken from the normal outlet of the treatment works, which is Burrumbeet Creek, which, though much altered and buggerised about, eventually flows into Lake Burrumbeet and is pretty much its only source. And Lake Burrumbeet is an even more significant waterfowl refuge than Wendouree. So they haven't just significantly degraded two major wildlife refuges, they have manipulated the media in such a way as to make most people think that they are darn good blokes.

Total scumbags.

 

[udaman]

In which regard? :twistd:

It was just a joke, re: hiking thread poll (think tongue & cheeky), and also, damn women (forget what RJ says, he's a died in the wool womanizer like SC ), who cares if they are insecure, but so much so they lie through their teeth. Problem is, you don't know when that lying will stop, "oh, I never do that, Umm I always made the guys use a condom...and I have lots of swamp land for sale, real cheap; and you wont get anything other than HIV with me if you don't use your brain, and act with your penis only"---if it looks suspiciously dangerous in the beginning, just stay clear of that, there are plenty of other women in the world. See what I mean? (huh, me bitter?) Trust issues with that one, steer clear of her; just tell her you don't deal with women who are that dishonest, no matter how much you may hurt their feelings, you've got to take care of yourself 1st and foremost, they aren't going to worry about you, trust me. Be a man, ditch her nicely, but ditch her for good, and do it NOW! Life is too short to waste it on such trivial worries, IMO.

 

[Chewy509]

But for the nest month or so, most days will be sunny, perhaps with scattered clouds, and somewhere in the low 20s or perhaps high teens.

Umm, which part of the country are you in? Might be like that down in Ballarat, but up here in Bris-vegas, actually I'll just quote Robin Williams: "I just want to begin by saying to Roosevelt E. Roosevelt, what it is, what it shall be, what it was. The weather out there today is hot and shitty with continued hot and shitty in the afternoon. Tomorrow a chance of continued crappy with a pissy weather front coming down from the north. Basically, it's hotter than a snake's ass in a wagon rut."

Great to have sub-tropical monsoon weather! Winter is the best time for us! Cool ~20C days, sunny, etc...

Udaman: I got the joke (hence the devil smiley).

 

[LunarMist]

OK.
So yeah, come on over. Lunar, E_dawg, and Handy, bring your cameras.

I'd love to, but unfortunately I have a regular job and 30 days of vacation and leave only goes so far. I'd bring some photo toys for you to play with, maybe a spare 1Ds MK II, 400/4 DO, etc. No need for the 500/4 since you already have one. Maybe someday...

 

[Tea]

Autumn in temperate Australia ........

Umm, which part of the country are you in?

Temperate Australia is the bit south of ... oh, definitions vary, but let's say south of Grafton, round about. It's easy to find, Chewy.

Get up early and stand outside your front door. Face east. (that's the side the sun comes up on).

Turn 90 degrees to your right (that's the other side, not the side you wear your watch on).

Start walking. (Or run, if you prefer.)

When you notice lots of skyscrapers and lots of people all driving round in a big hurry wearing casual clothes and looking as though they don't understand why they are not having fun, that's the Gold Coast. Keep walking.

If you have wet feet and the water tastes salty, you are in the sea. Veer right a bit.

If you see a camel, you are near the Simpson Desert, veer left a bit.

When you notice the roads have improved a bit, that's New South Wales. Keep walking.

When you notice that everything is very green, that's New England, the only part of NSW that isn't in drought. If you like, you can stop here, as although it's not very far south, it's quite high and thus coolish, so you could cheat and define it as "temperate" if you wanted to. Me, I'd draw the line a little further south, so keep walking.

When you notice that everything is very brown and all the grass is dead and the sheep are starving, you are somewhere in the rest of NSW, or possibly Victoria. You are now lost. You are probably somewhere in temperate Australia, but seeing as you don't know where you are anymore, you might as well keep walking.

When the trees all disappear and there is grass and saltbush as far as you can see, you are probably somewhere near Hay or Deniliquin. There is nothing for you to see in Hay or Deniliquin except grass and saltbush, but cheer up! At least you know where you are now.

When your feet get wet and muddy, it's a river. Probably the Murrumbidgie, but possibly the Lachlan, the Edward, or the Murray. Keep walking. Swim if necessary. Try not to swallow.

If the roads get quite a lot better on the other side of the river, you are in Victoria. The natives are quite friendly but do not admit to drinking XXXX! Keep walking. Stop for a rest if you like.

When you see some green grass, that's probably Ballarat. There was a thunderstorm here the other week, so it's not quite as dry as the rest of Victoria and NSW.

When you see a white shop with a red and blue sign, that's Red Hill. Wave! We are probably closed for lunch, but wave anyway.

When you see a small ape with scary orange fur, that's me. Smile, I don't bite. Much. Don't try to pat me on the head! I have very strong arms and my reflexes are quicker than yours are. If in doubt, offer me a banana. If in lots of doubt, offer me a gin and tonic. If you really, really need a friend, bring the bottle.

 

[Buck]

If you really, really need a friend, bring the bottle.

Beefeater or Bombay? (I want to be prepared when I come from the Northeast.)

 

[Chewy509]

Now let's get back on topic...

I meet L for coffee/lunch on Friday (Happy Australia Day to all the Aussie's), and confirmed all my fears... She was at least 3 sizes larger than she said, and quite obviously lying about her extra curricular activities, sure she could complete a 40km hike! I doubt she could complete a 4k walk.

We had lunch, chatted much ado about nothing, and once lunch was complete, I thanked her for lunch and departed. I called her later that afternoon and again said thank you for lunch, and that further dates were unlikely... she then hung up on me, without letting me explain why.

Now things that pissed me off, lunch was ~$40, I pulled out a fifty (smallest I had), and she didn't even offer to pay any amount. Every other girl I've had dinner with have all insisted on splitting the bill... She wouldn't make eye contact when speaking, and while it was for coffee, I would normally dress quite well, her dress sense left a lot to be desired... And her constant giggling, it was apparent it's a natural reaction when she is nervous. But for fuck sake, you can't be nervous for 2hrs. And to top it off, she didn't recognise me when I was waiting for her next to the cafe. (I've never had that problem before).


Now, dinner Thursday night with K was a completely different affair. We chatted, we laughed, it was the ideal date. We spoke on Sunday, and are catching up during the week... :-D

 

[Chewy509]

Tea, that was f&*king funny.

 

[udaman]

Now let's get back on topic...

I meet L for coffee/lunch on Friday (Happy Australia Day to all the Aussie's), and confirmed all my fears... She was at least 3 sizes larger than she said, and quite obviously lying about her extra curricular activities, sure she could complete a 40km hike! I doubt she could complete a 4k walk.

We had lunch, chatted much ado about nothing, and once lunch was complete, I thanked her for lunch and departed. I called her later that afternoon and again said thank you for lunch, and that further dates were unlikely... she then hung up on me, without letting me explain why.

Now things that pissed me off, lunch was ~$40, I pulled out a fifty (smallest I had), and she didn't even offer to pay any amount. Every other girl I've had dinner with have all insisted on splitting the bill... She wouldn't make eye contact when speaking, and while it was for coffee, I would normally dress quite well, her dress sense left a lot to be desired... And her constant giggling, it was apparent it's a natural reaction when she is nervous. But for fuck sake, you can't be nervous for 2hrs. And to top it off, she didn't recognise me when I was waiting for her next to the cafe. (I've never had that problem before).


Now, dinner Thursday night with K was a completely different affair. We chatted, we laughed, it was the ideal date. We spoke on Sunday, and are catching up during the week... :-D

Well at least you got rid of L for less than 50; that one had trouble written all over from early on, glad you *think* you're luckier with K. But I hate dating with a purple passion, most women drive me nuts with their insecurities or overbearing egos; the ones between that would probably work for me are almost all already taken, I give up...don't pay attention to me, I'm just bitter right now, bitter is what I am.

 

[Mercutio]

Now, dinner Thursday night with K was a completely different affair. We chatted, we laughed, it was the ideal date.

The good news is, personals sites are obviously doing something for you, even if you don't see it that way. You've gotten dates and contact with other human beings that way. It certainly does not work that way for everyone.

At this point, I'd gladly pay several hundred dollars just to have the validation that I'm actually "date-able". I'm not even talking about anything sexual. But that's far too close to dealing with an escort or an escort mentality than I can personally accept. I know a couple women who do that for whatever reason (and I knew both of them before I knew what they did for a living), I've heard some of their stories and I know that I ought to be better than that. Plus, I have a brother who engages in "sex tourism" and I pretty much think I'm better than him, too. I don't necessarily think there's anything wrong with that, but I don't want to do it myself. I feel the same way about drinking alcohol.

Anyway, Valentine's day is coming. It's a deeply crappy time of year since basically every form of media in the US switches to celebrating couplehood and reminding the rest of us pathetic losers how pathetic and loser-y we are.

 

[Will Rickards]

When reading chewy's latest post did anybody else picture him sitting for coffee with the letter L from sesame street. Like a person in an L letter suit. And then the letter K comes by?

This post was brought to you today by the letter F.

Merc, have you considered a professional match maker type person?

 

[Mercutio]

I know of no such thing.

 

[Chewy509]

The good news is, personals sites are obviously doing something for you, even if you don't see it that way. You've gotten dates and contact with other human beings that way. It certainly does not work that way for everyone.

I've read many horror stories about how inefficient online dating can be... One guy never had 1 contact despite being online for over 3 months, and paid for assistance in setting up his profile (some online dating sites have the valued added source of profile assistance). The success rate for online dating is only around 10% anyway... Most people meet either through mutual friends or through work.

At this point, I'd gladly pay several hundred dollars just to have the validation that I'm actually "date-able". I'm not even talking about anything sexual.

Most dating agencies (not online) and some speed-dating services have these facilities. Simply email some of the them, and ask the question...

Anyway, Valentine's day is coming. It's a deeply crappy time of year since basically every form of media in the US switches to celebrating couplehood and reminding the rest of us pathetic losers how pathetic and loser-y we are.

Even if you are in a relationship, Valentine's Day still makes you feel crappy and worthless... IMHO it's a holiday made for the corporation and not the people.

This post was brought to you today by the letter F.

And this post was brought to you by the letter Z. :joker:

 

[ddrueding]

I'll second Chewy on the crappiness of V-Day. It, and my other holidays, are designed by corporations to cause more consumerism. Women, who seem blind to consumerism, still feel some degree of authenticity however and therefore apply pressure to guys to cave to the desires of the corporation. Absolute crap.

 

[Handruin]

I never paid for any of the online dating sites. I did the free one that merc recommended a long time back. Sure, I didn't have any success for several months but at the same time I wasn't paying anything or feeling pressure that I had to make "progress" or I'd be wasting my money. I met some nice people that even though I didn't date, they kept me sane and entertained. Perhaps I'm one of the 10% but I met someone and we've been dating for many months now.

I also third the crappiness of V-Day... I'd rather do something nice on an unexpected random day of the year.

 

[Mercutio]

I've read many horror stories about how inefficient online dating can be... One guy never had 1 contact despite being online for over 3 months, and paid for assistance in setting up his profile

I've had a profile for well over two YEARS with no actual responses. I had the only straight, young female I know edit it (and I must say, her fiance is one lucky motherfucker). The full set of lesbians (being female and therefore somewhat helpful, and some of them used to be straight, so...) looked at it and offered suggestions, which I took under consideration in making revisions.

The thing is, not only have I never gotten anywhere... I make an effort to contact people myself. I try to look at someone's profile and send a message about its content every day. I *still* haven't gotten anyplace.

The standard response to all of this is "Join a club" or something similar, but I also don't have much control of my schedule, beyond my desire to work as much as I can. I work until 8PM a lot of evenings and usually at least one day on the weekend. Figure 60 - 70 random hours during a normal week. I really need to be working, since that's what keeps me going, but I usually don't know exactly how my schedule will work out for a given week until maybe mid-day Monday.
When I stop working I pretty much shut down until it is time to work again.

Anyway, I'm pretty good at the romantic gesture if I do say so myself, but when people talk about it, I end up thinking what I'd be doing for my ex if I could and that is not the kind of thought that is conducive to happy thoughts.

 

[LunarMist]

At this point, I'd gladly pay several hundred dollars just to have the validation that I'm actually "date-able". I'm not even talking about anything sexual. But that's far too close to dealing with an escort or an escort mentality than I can personally accept. I know a couple women who do that for whatever reason (and I knew both of them before I knew what they did for a living), I've heard some of their stories and I know that I ought to be better than that. Plus, I have a brother who engages in "sex tourism" and I pretty much think I'm better than him, too. I don't necessarily think there's anything wrong with that, but I don't want to do it myself. I feel the same way about drinking alcohol.

You need to get drunk and get laid. Seriously, anyone is datable if he or she sets reasonable expectations. You are an intelligent guy and don't need to spend money or visit the internet to figure that out. If you continue to set impossible criteria for "date-able" then you will never find anyone to date. It is your choice, believe it or not.

 

[Mercutio]

You need to get drunk and get laid.
It is your choice, believe it or not.

It's only my choice to look for myself. I can't make anyone else look back at me.
FWIW, I'd rather have something that is more emotionally meaningful than a cash transaction in the relationship department. Call me old fashioned but I'd rather have nothing at all than something which is completely empty and meaningless.

 

[ddrueding]

Merc,

When I worked that much, I always ended up with co-workers. I figure I probably booked at least 20 hours in bars actively pursuing conversations with women for every phone number I got. 50% of those phone calls got returned, 75% of those return calls got dates, 50% of those dates got me laid, 25% of those got me a second date, etc.

Consider putting yourself physically out there half as much as you work. Yes this will feel like exercise with additional mental torture built in, but it is the cost of entry.

It doesn't need to be a bar. A D&D tournament, Trekkie convention, or Porn convention counts as well; but there will be serious time and lots and lots of failure to log before anything worthwhile happens.

 

[Mercutio]

Yeah, I'd have to go where women are, then. I don't know where that is.

 

[ddrueding]

Women tend to gather at places where money is spent; Malls, Bars, etc. Also any place that seems excessively healthy; Spas, Gyms*, health clubs, etc.

As a matter of fact, if you set yourself up to get healthier through any of the group-based methods (weight watchers, yoga, gym, whatever), I'm betting you'd find someone before you would find someone before you dropped out of the obese range. It would put you in a social environment for a decent amount of time, around some of the same people, and would show them that you care about and respect yourself (big plus).

 

[udaman]

So how do you pickup women at Malls? You just walk up to them and start talking to them, you'd have to have a ton of self-confidence to do that. And the slightest amount of nervousness will do you in, some will think you're desparate or creepy. Gyms, Spas, health clubs? Well you DD, maybe in your shape could pull it off. Yeah I know people of less than stellar bodies are at those places but most who are less than idea are there because they are very self-conscious about their looks and don't feel good about their bodies... ie. the worst place to 'pickup' women.

Sheeesh, even the ones I know who look better than DD's old g/f have insecurity issues, don't think they have really nice bodies, if they are even tiny bit of flabiness, or a few pounds extra over their ideal weights. Then they claim they are not *that* concerned about their physical appearance, but in fact they always want to look their best and are insecure about not looking their absolute best... ie. neurotic. Only really hot looking guys (who obviously don't think these neurotic women are in anyway 'fat' because they're minimally less than ideal) can stroke their ego's enough, telling them they look great (were as lesser guys telling them the same thing...they don't feel that its the same kind of compliment) for them to feel OK with themselves. yeah, so you need to be very impressive in someway to hold their attention, otherwise they're just looking for someone else and hardly notice you...ever see the HBO series Sex In the City?

You can respect yourself all you want, that is so little of the equation, almost the last little part, of impressing women enough to pay attention to you, IME. Working out, equates to respect for yourself, I hardly think so. Working out just means you're out of shape, or wanting to get into better shape because you don't think you look good (which can lead to the impression of you being insecure about your looks, ie. the opposite impression of 'respecting' yourself...just look at what jtr says about his extra weight, which isn't that much, or like me). I don't like my extra 30-40lbs from my weight of my early 20's, but it doesn't bother me that much, even if I can fit into pants/clothes I used to wear. But it looks worse to women, when they've goot a pool of guys to choose from who don't have that weight, who do have more impressive jobs/status/more interesting lives, participate in social attivities. I ain't easy to be impressive to lots of women, who just compare you to others, rather than being content to take the time to find out if they really like you or not.

I'm with Merc, I give up.

 

[udaman]

Ok, so what do you think of this, her online pix from a fashion site, she wore these to Hollywood club parties and industry fashion shows. Yet, because she grewup in the midwest, was about the only ethnic minority amoung whites, she was subjected (and rejected) to prejudice. But she's only dated one guy of Korean background in her life, and is mostly attracted to tall white guys, always wears high heels because she want's to be taller than her 5'2" height.

She could be just right for Chewy (except I doubt he could impress her at all), as she until recently used to run 6-8km 5days a week, but was bored to tears with it, found shopping worked for her better, at too much junk food (has a sweettooth) and gained what 5-10 of flab over her former ideal weight? Sheeesh, neurotic city. She knows guys like her, but she still only 1/2 accepts it. (Chewy had request a pix of me and a hottie, but this is the best I could do...I'm not getting anywhere with her, she's not interested...you've got to be far more impressive to her than I am). A little tummy bulge, from eathing too many sweets, a little bigger butt than she used to have when running, thighs marginally thicker...and now she's very self-conscious about those looks even if she claims otherwise, and she gave up her membership in a fitness club, but has not problems meeting and dating guys through her social network of people. Does she look like she's got a lousy body? I don't think so, but it's less than ideal, so while not alwasy admitting it, it bothers her more than she's willing to say.

Lots of women are like that, if what they hope to find in a guy is someone to date that turns out to be a relationship that leads, or has a possibility to lead to marriage and children, DD's women are not as concerned with that, cause they're younger. Soon as they hit 30yrs old and that biological time clock for having children gets on their mind, they look at guys more as potential mates...and then you're done if you can't really impress them.